My mom died 4 months ago
My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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Tammy - I am sorry to have too welcome you to the group. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. We all understand your pain and anguish all too well. I hope you can find some comfort and support here. I lost my 17 year old son 9myonly) almost 3 years ago (it seems like yesterday), He was a passenger in a car with a "friend" who made a an arrogant and stupid move which cost my son his life. The driver was fine. We all have regrets, please do not be too hard on yourself. Hugs to you. Connie
Tammy,
Your loss is a devastating and unnatural one. Although it will be unique, we all share the indefensible pain that attacks our soul each minute. The senselessness and traumatic loss you have experience I can understand. The anger stands there, waiting to usurp your heart when the sadness and pain are unguarded.
I have found that i am drifting through my life; wondering if I would even have any fight within me should I be faced with a choice.
I find small accomplishments in such unordinary tasks such as having a meal and getting out of bed. You may find that you are consumed with tears and despair, and in that, I can only find meaning in that I loved him very much. That is the balance to our most beloved persons; your daughter must be so deeply loved.
There is a prayer that I try to soothe myself with, and it says:
from ignorance to knowledge,
from dark to light,
from mortality to immortality,
to peace.
Please reach out here whenever is possible. We are with you in all of this. I am 35 years old, feeling like I am 60 years old without plans for the future. But here, at least I am not too alone. You are not going through this by yourself as I hear you and see you.