I'm terribly sorry that you have joined us. I'm sorry for your loss (as I'm sure you've heard a million times). It's very unfortunate that any of us have to join a group like this but it's comforting to know that there are other people who are hurting as well and it's been extremely helpful to come to this site to vent. I encourage you to use the blog feature, it's been very therapeutic for myself. My thoughts and prayers are with you and please feel free to message me anytime.