Miranda, it's a long process. I really didn't have time to grieve until a few weeks to a month after. I went back to work for two weeks, then went back to deal with the estate. I was blessed with having my husband and my uncle, my dad's brother, who now lives with us, to cope. Most has been on my own and with friends. I know what it means to have things remind you of him.  My uncle's daily presence is one of those reminders. 

You told him it you would be okay without him comfort him in his final moments. You did not lie to him, to tried to ease his worry. Be glad you were able to have that moment, I unfortunately did not. We will never be the same. I know I am not the same person I was before my dad's passing. Think about how he would want you to continue without him. I think that is what made me strong those first few weeks, and daily as time passes. Our hearts will forever be aching for those we lost-some days better than others. But we have to remember them by living a productive life as they had wanted for us when they were here.

Stay strong. Cry if you need to. But when you do, have warm memories as you smile. If need be seek additional professional support. I love this site, and have a great support system here at home, but sometimes more help is needed. I am seeking such help. Keep in touch. Hugs x 1000