When you were here, it seemed like we'd always be together. One doesn't really think about being apart of that person you love while having lunch one day or watching tv on the afternoon or calling to see what we need from the supermarket.

I grew up with you and became an adult, I do hope your life was happier because you had a daughter. I can tell you I was blessed to have you as a mom, I was lucky to get you, a beautiful woman with a lot of love to give. I wish I could talk to you…

Before Mom passed away I never really had a reason to think much about what happens after death or if there is a God. I was raised a catholic, but haven't been to church in years. I pray to God every day since Mom passed.

Now, the thing is that I'm not sure whether there's a God out there or not. Or if there is something more than life in this Earth. I do feel Mom, or have felt her a couple of times. But that could be me fooling myself. I can't be sure.

Even if there wasn't a…

The other day I was watching a movie and a character was talking about a woman who was separated from her husband, he said she was not doing well and that's what happens ''when you have only one thing in life and you lose it''.

That's how I feel. My Mom was my reason to live. She was the special person in my life. I do have some other family, like my godparents, who I know love me as their child, but it is simply not the same.

I have tried to go back to the life I had before…

Mom, I have been reading about life and death. I know that we are supposed to be much more that our bodies, that death means to leave the body and cross to that place, where we see our true selves and are able to understand things much more clearly than we could here on Earth.

 So, I know that you are there, somewhere. But I can't reach you. I can't feel you. I don't know if you hear me when I call you. I'm still in this world and I don't understand. At some point I'll join you, and…