Hi Kate, How are you doing? I have been thinking of you ever since reading your comments about losing your beautiful little girl. I want to tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. I lost my youngest grandson on Feb. 1 when a commercial truck hit the stroller he was in. I honestly thought that when I got the call 12 years ago that my youngest daughter had been killed in a car accident that that was the worst moment of my life, but I was so wrong--my worst moment came when I received the call that Dylan had been killed. Nothing prepares you for news like that, does it? For months I felt as if I was walking around in a fog--living a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. I started taking St John's Wart and since have started feeling somewhat normal--though my heart is still broken and I miss that dillybar so very much, at least now I feel I can turn to his brother and live because of him!
I think this site is great that we can all reach out to one another and share stories or find an empathetic ear--I would love to hear how you and your children are doing--I know how hard it is to try and live while you are missing someone so very special. I find it very difficult to visit my daughter and her family now--it's not that I don't want to see them, but knowing that I won't be seeing Dylan running around and playing with his brother makes it so very hard to make the trip--but then I feel guilty for feeling that way because I still have a daughter (who also could have been killed that morning) and a sweet little 6 year old grandson that I adore! I am trying to live the words I heard my daughter say "we might not like it, but it is what it is" and she's right--I don't like that fact that Dylan is no longer here, but I believe he is in Heaven and I will one day see him again--sometimes I wish that day would come sooner than later, but until then I am going to pray each day that I will find a way to live with his memories and stories I share with others. God Bless!