Comment

Comment by Rj on March 23, 2015 at 6:41am

Oh how mothers day will be so hard. oh what a wonderful photo

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on December 11, 2014 at 1:03pm

Very interesting Marie, thanks for that, like your daughter said, it is a disease, they couldn't help themselves, at least with heroin - that's what people tell me.  I like your counselor, I saw one twice and she didn't help me at all. 

I don't know why I can read the comments on my phone but I am unable to reply, I have an iPhone. It's weird, anyway I sent you 2 emails on your gmail from my msn, so make sure they didn't go to junk. What is the tapping?

I'm so sorry you found Taylor, my ex found Randy but we all saw him, me Katey and Steve, it was awful but we all felt we needed to see him.  I do believe they are more at peace, because it sounds like both our guys were so unhappy.  Hugs... x0

You can't blame yourself for not being able to save him, I know we wanted to but the drug was stronger then they were. (of course I feel the same way...)

Comment by Marie on December 11, 2014 at 12:56pm

Sandy, I know, I was getting sooo worn out with Taylor's using. The ironic thing is I taught last year in an inpatient facility for teens who are addicted and have co-occurring mental disorders...I also have a master's degree in teaching at-risk youth. You'd think I would be able to save my own son...

I really believe that God has taken away all their pain. Your son was younger than mine, so at 18 it is normal to separate from parents and not want to hang out with them. Also, teens don't have the brain capacity to make rational decisions. Another interesting fact, their decision making ability is stunted to the age they were when they started using. So even a 20 year will have the decision making skills of a 16 year old if that is the age they were when they started using.

My counselor is really into brain development and how grief affects the brain. At her suggestion, I have been reading a lot and making mental lists of all the things that I am still thankful for--even though I don't feel like doing it, I make myself do it to grow new neuron pathways. It does help for a few minutes. :-) She also taught my daughter and me this tapping routine because I found Taylor and my daughter came over shortly after I found him. I should make myself do the tapping everyday, but I don't have the energy....

By the way, this site is a little confusing. I get an email, which I can check on my phone, then I follow the link to reply. Today I am on my computer, so I just followed your comment.  I should be cleaning and looking for jobs, but instead I am on here. lol!! HUGS

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on December 11, 2014 at 10:36am

Yes Gale, that's a very nice picture of you both.  I"m so glad you got to spend time together and you too Marie. Randy wouldn't do anything with us really.  He did come to brunch on Mothers Day and he was clean then.  The last couple of months we were back to all his drama and people accusing him of stuff and his phone and money being stolen and bla bla bla.  It was the same ole shit and I hate myself for saying that I was so sick of it.  It had been years, I just want to be happy.  I have been so fucking stressed out for so many years, life seems very very very unfair to me these days, especially now that my precious Haley, my love, she loved me unconditionally, she didn't call me names and do drugs, she followed me everywhere and now she is gone too.  I have the last text on my phone from Randy the night before this happened and we said good night and love you, I keep it on there but I think it just hurts me more.  Thanks everybody for being there, I honestly am struggling with everything so much and you all help. I cant seem to reply to anything on my phone, how do you reply or comment Marie? Can you do it via email or do you have to do through the internet?  Thanks everybody.

Comment by Marie on December 8, 2014 at 5:41pm

Please excuse all my typos. I am typing from my phone!!!:-)

Comment by Marie on December 8, 2014 at 5:39pm

Hi Gale,
My son was 22. We were really close too even when he was using. I called him my little cling on because we did a lot together. I was always trying to keep him him busy so he wouldn't want to relapse. The weekend before he died was really good. We went out with some friends and the on Sunday we went to mass and out to dinner. But the following week we had a few arguments because I could tell he was faltering. I really didn't think he would use heroin again though. He had just started at Gonzaga and I i told him I would him with his homework on Sunday. I am a teacher so I was working at the fair to make some extra money. He was living with me and I found him when I got home that night. I am so glad for you that you had such a good conversation with your son and you have texts! That is awesome!

Comment by Gale Brunault on December 8, 2014 at 4:28pm

Thanks Marie - Michael was such a kind spirited son.  It's a tough time of year......just so many tears.

How old was your son?  Michael was 31 years old.  I just printed out copies of some texts between him and I.  One was New Years Eve, one was on my anniversary and the last was the night before he passed.  We had a great exchange and I told him I loved him ( I added about 10 hearts) and he said that he loved me too.  Michael also text what a great day he had and we even reminisced about when he was young.  All in one text and then the next day he was gone....I will survive this, but it won't be easy.  I'm sure you understand Marie.  I'm so sorry for your loss too - such a shame

Comment by Marie on December 8, 2014 at 2:08pm

Hi Gale,

Your son was so handsome. It is a terrible "club" to be in. Last Mother's Day, I didn't see my son because he thought I was mad at him for stealing money from me--which I was; however, I still wanted to see him on that day. I am so sorry for your loss!