Sandra LaBonte

Female

Spring Hill, FL

United States

Profile Information:

About my Loss:: I lost my only child, Kasey Lynn Castleberry in an auto accident on 4/14/2011. I am completely devastated and lost and don't know how or why to live without her.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.: no

Comment Wall:

Ammy

Hi Sandra, I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. Please don't give up. The beginning is so hard and this is very new to you. Hopefully you will find some help here through the members, and if you are a person of faith, then through your God. It takes time. Lots of time. I'm looking at the pictures of your daughter and she is beautiful. I wish I could say something to help, but there are no words to take away your pain. Don't think that anything you're feeling is unnatural because it isn't. I don't get on here very often, but if you need someone to talk to I get the notices in my email. I'm so sorry. Ann

May 4, 2011
Ammy

Sandra, you wrote, "I guess I just don't understand how you can do it". We do it just like you are doing it. Moment by moment, then hour by hour, and day by day. You can't go farther than that. Especially in the beginning. I remember when every time I woke from sleep my first thoughts were of my son. I'm grateful now that it doesn't happen every time. In the beginning it was always on my mind, but now I get breaks from it. I still cry every day, but not as much. I feel like I'm healing a little and that alone gives me some hope for a future that will not always be so sad. As for the job interview, I don't know how you will get through that. Can you possibly postpone it for awhile? You said that you have always taken care of yourself in any situation, but this is not just any situation. This will probably be the worst thing that could ever happen to you. You will find a way to survive, but it will be your greatest challenge. I have been there and I don't even want to think about those first months. You are in your first weeks. I know how awful you feel, how bad you ache, how you feel you can't go on, but you can and you will. Minute by minute, hour by hour, and then day by day. Allow yourself time to heal. I wish I knew more. I wish I could actually help. All I can do is be here and pray for you. Hugs

May 5, 2011
melissa whaley

i am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter 2 years ago in june. I know its horrible and i know you probobly feel like a prisioner trapped on the earth. Thats how i feel it was alot worse for the first year. I always told people at least people and prision know their sentence. I still have alot of hard days but the first year is the worst i think. You never stop hurting you just learn to live with it. It just becomes part of your daily emotions. You have a long way to go and alot of work to do before life has any flavor again but it does get better. it will never be the same but it gets better. it may help if you look up the compassionate friends group in your area. They have monthley meetings and everyone there is going through what you are. It is possible to survive this. I wish you the best and i hope you find some peace. God bless you and remember you will see her again in Gods time.

May 5, 2011
Pam Brooks

Dear Sandra, First let me say how sorry I am to hear of losing your only daughter. I wanted to respond because I lost my only child, my daughter, March 26, 2010. You are having the same feelings as I was and still sometimes do. It is very, very difficult. Believe me I understand that pain. I do hope you will stay in touch and just talk if that's what you need. When it first happened I couldn't even go back to work. I was in shock for a long time. I had many people praying for me and I think that is what helped me most. It won't be easy - you have to take it one moment at a time. If you ever need to talk please let me know. Everybody is different in handling their grief. I don't think you will ever stop grieving. Sending lots of hugs to you!

May 9, 2011
Laura Villarreal

Sandra, by being here for you I am helping myself...it is very therapeutic for me to reach out and share with you (and others) my own way of coping and moving forward on this journey none of us asked for. My daughter has physically departed this earth but her spirit and memory live on not only in me but in all those people whose lives she touched. And moving forward does not mean moving past her death...it means that I continue with my life, going forward, but not leaving her memory behind. I have and still suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. Sometimes I don't leave the house for days. I struggle everyday as do all the other moms and dads grieving the loss of a child. The photos you posted of your daughter show a very happy and confident young woman...take care Sandy.

Warmest Hugs going your way....

Laura

May 10, 2011
Ammy

Sandy, I was going to send you a private message, but I guess we have to be 'friends' before I can do that. It was nice to hear that the job interview went well and you got the job. I do believe being distracted can help, but you will still be overcome with the grief at work. I hope it won't be a problem with the job. I hope you have family and/or friends that are understanding and helpful. Many times the people we think are so close to us disappear after our loss. I think they themselves can't deal with what we are going through or they really have no concept of the devastation we are experiencing. If this should happen don't be surprised or take it too personally. This is a long journey and there aren't many that are willing to take it with us. Blessings of comfort are wished for you. Hugs, Ann

May 13, 2011
Laura Villarreal

Thank you for the friend request, Sandy. I am here for you...hope you are doing okay and taking care of yourself.

Warmest regards,

Laura

May 14, 2011
Ammy

Sandy, I understand what you wrote. I've not been in a good place this past week. I have too many feelings going on right now to even think straight, but I wanted you to know I understand. Wouldn't it be nice if someone could make this better? I just keep hoping and praying because I can't imagine feeling like this for the rest of my life. I miss my son more than I ever thought I could miss anyone. And so the roller coaster ride keeps going. Enjoy what you can when you're at the top. I want to wish you a better day, but I'll just wish you love. Hugs to you, Ann

May 21, 2011
Machaela Whelan

Sandra--thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry for the loss of Kasey. She was absolutely beautiful.

My nights are the hardest without Evan. It's like I can't slow my mind down enough to just remember to breathe.

Jun 3, 2011
farida narain

HeySandra and others, Just checking to see how everyone is doing today. I have been shedding so many tears and I am sure you all are doing the same. I saw a butterfly a few days ago and I felt my daughter was sending me a message. But even though that was comforting I still want her back and it hurts so very bad that I can't turn back the hands of time. The guy who collided with my daughter and caused her death will go on trial until December. So he will be able to carry on as if nothing happened and it makes me so very angry and very sad all at once. I know that each one of you are going through the same living hell like I do and we keep torturing ourselves reliving the day it happened. I try to find all the books about grief and I read a lot now also I try to keep busy so I won't have free time to get consumed with the pain. Hope you all can find some support groups in your areas that you can share your grief with. I have joined the Compassionate Friends and it helps to talk to people who have an idea what our pain is like and who knows about grieving the loss of a child. So long to everyone and God Bless. Will stay in touch. Farida.

Jun 18, 2011
Sue Waxman

Hi Sandra,

Today is a day when most families are cooking hot dogs and hamburgers and enjoying their July 4th. For us...well for me...I am still in bed trying to find a reason to make a pot of coffee. Don't enjoy much these days. When I read about you and your feelings and your loss of your beautiful child...I feel selfish even being on thsi site. I lost my beloved mom Nancy 1 week ago today to that cancer so many of us are familiar with. She lived a full life BUT I miss her with every ounce of my heart. Having no family suport I have found you all. I am here to hold you up and listen when you feel you are going to just loose it. You are in my thoughts and prayers Sandra. Sue

Jul 4, 2011
Sue Waxman

Dear Sandy,

I am here for you. I know the connection between a mother and daughter. My mother was my world. Raised me alone. She was my everything as you were to your darling daughter. How gifted we were to experience such tremendous love to leave us in such tremendous pain. The pain is because we are left missing them. Sandy...I am here for you. Never think you cannot pick up the phone. My number is 941-809-8673. I have considered suicide over the past few years with my divorce - UGLY and painful, family hatred and disfunction or stupid crap. I care Sandy. Sue

Jul 4, 2011
Stephanie Stone-Merrick

Thank you for sending me a friend request, I have a hard time requesting people. I'm so very sorry about your beautiful daughter, Sandra. I wish there was something we could all say to each other to shift things back and make everything right...but for now, I can offer you a hug and a shoulder. I'm thinking of you and Kasey.

Aug 11, 2011
Stephanie Stone-Merrick

Thank you Sandra for your sweet compliment, Johrdan was a fabulous hugger. In fact, on his facebook pages that's something all of his friends have mentioned they missed most about him. Your Kasey is beautiful...what spirit and strength she seemed to convey through her pictures.

Aug 15, 2011
Stephanie Stone-Merrick

Sandra I am so sorry for all the heartache and pain you are in. I cannot even explain it to myself let alone others. I miss Johrdan like I will never truly breathe again, no matter how many breaths I take. It aches in my chest like rocks have been carelessly tossed and cemented there. I wish I could change everything, all of this. That this site had no reason to exist...but I couldn't be more grateful or relieved to have a place to come when I'm tired of everything else and I just want time to think about Johrdan and the others who are gone. To be with people who completely understand without me having to say too much. You are in my thoughts and prayers, as is Kasey.

Aug 30, 2011
Lorraine

rest in peace, Sandy.

Dec 13, 2011
farida narain

Oh my God Sandra, I do understand the pain you were trying to endure for the past few months since beautiful Kasey died in that terrible accident. My heart goes out to your bereaved family. How I wish with all my heart that I could have helped you go on but I too am going through this painful loss of my daughter who also was killed in an accident. Nothing or no one can ease the pain and it follows us everywhere. I am so very sad and shaken by your death Sandra. May you rest in eternal peace with your beautiful child Kasey,

Dec 13, 2011
Melissa Broome

I'm so very sorry Sandra's family...Rest in peace Sandra..I understand that she wasn't able to go on. I too wish I could have been more help. I'm in shock...I will hold my loved ones a little closer tonight...you are all in my thoughts and prayers

Melissa

Dec 13, 2011
Rosie Fletcher

Rest in peace Sandy. My thoughts and prayers are for Sandy's family. My heart aches to hear this.

Dec 13, 2011
Karen R.

My heart truly aches as my tears flow while typing this. I wish she would have seeked some other intervention. I know her pain all to well, my pain has not lessoned one bit since I have reached the 2 yr mark of losing my 21 yr old son......which still, by the way, sounds crazy to me, just thinking it, saying it, writing it or typing it is unreal, it will never be accepted or understood. All I can say to you sweet Sandy is I hope you are at peace with your child and if your family/ loved ones are reading this, I would tell them that we try to support each other on this site and would never encourage each other to take such drastic measures but we do all understand her pain. So sorry for any additional sadness I'm sure this has caused.

Dec 15, 2011
anna l.

To Sandy's family. I have thought about you so much the past few days. I tried to write something the day you posted this news, but only tears came, not words. My son died in March 2010, and my husband July 2011 so I understand the dark place Sandy must have been in because I have been there too. If it werent for the little grandkids I would be only too happy to join all the ones passed and end the pain I am in here on earth. I hope you, her family can find it in your hearts to forgive her and understand that for the mothers whose children were taken too soon the world around us goes on, but our world is cold, empty and dead without them. I am so sorry for your losses and will keep thinking of you and sending prayers for many nights to come.

Dec 15, 2011