How do you forgive yourself when the person you need to hear forgiveness from can't give it you? How do you move on? My mother passed away 8 yrs ago (June 24th), guilt has been eating at me and seems to be getting worse with each year.

On August 25th it will be three months since I lost my father. He had a brain bleed on May 17th, and on May 25th, he died. Every single day without him just doesn't seem fair. My heart is having a very hard time coming to terms and coping with the fact that my dad is gone, while my head knows that he is happy, at peace, and no longer in pain or suffering. Is there ever going to come a time where I don't feel sad all the time, or be able to look at his pictures and not feel the searing heartache? Will I ever not miss him or feel the aching emptiness? Please help. 

Kelly,   I am so sorry for your loss.   No one can feel what you feel right now.   Friends don't understand (or can't imagine)losing a loved one so quickly and unexpectedly.  I feel lonely too.   I found that friends don't call as often, after the death of my husband.   That can get lonely.   I'm sure it is not intentional.   Many people are afraid, or don't want to upset me, by talking about joe.   I'm sure it is uncomfortable for them.  I've found that if I reach out to them, they are very receptive.   

 Thank you for being so brave and sharing your feeling with us.

                 God Bless.

Kelly, I am so sorry for your loss, I don't know exactly how you feel, I understand the emotional roller coaster that you are on. Stay brave.

Britt, Denise and the others that have lost children May God Bless You if you believe. Stay Strong! l recently lost my dad, (my superman) and a close friend. It has been 9 months, yet it feels like yesterday.

Hi Amy Ginn,

Diana Y does counseling, but it isn't free. She is good. Below is the link so you can message her. It is also good counseling to message other members.

http://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profiles/blogs/grief-counseling-s...

yea

i get askt u ok i lie isa y im ok

r u happy u dads ded im lk nooooooooooooooooooooo 

ru hapy pepel u mist hav gon nooooooooooooooooooooooo

why dnt u get over it????????????? no i cnt get over it thng we get told evry day

its easty 2 get ovr loss nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo its nevr easy coz lif sucs wen thy hav gon

lif bledin sucs 

or hears 1 i dnt no wot loss is im lik hellllllllllllllllllllo hav had loss non sisne 2012 its1616 still havi losss 

sorry if im rantin on 2 mush

hi helenb my moms got alzmers lst few mth she bean abusv argesv 2wards me but its bean bad lst 2 or 3 wks but ths wks bean so ndad bad u cud say i feal a nervs wec u cud say 

she wz lovin yrs go but ths yr got bad coz of lazmers thng iv bean cald got me so kow u cud say im cryn lk a kid wen she goz ogg on 1 

evn sad evn grnd me lk kid im 41 or pusnh me lk a kid i no its ilnes 

but ths alzmers u cud say trnd her frm lovin persn 2 a monstr u cud say pls tell me im nit bean basty nasty im not juts ths ilnes feals lk a monsr or satens ilnes 

all i no i wana my ol mom bk i do but ths 1 gon relplasd by momsr ocz of ilnes 

soorrry if i sond lk a bad persn or iv carz upst 2 a persnon hear

yep diana i no helll thng im livin in it coz of moms alzmes begin 2 rekize my metl helths is sufrin i am coz im a nervs rec i am it lst on hear i can hav sum vent i can i just wory in case i upst pepel on hear i do its why i say sorry i do

HELEN B

I replied to your posting on your profile page

Please check the page

hello. i have just joined.
Diana, I am so sorry for your loss.

When you are ready, I would like support please, but no pressure timewise. Many hugs to you

Hi everyone, Grief can never be taken lightly.  It's definitely a roller coaster ride.  Even when you think you are on the other side of it, you are not or maybe some are - I believe it's a never ending journey.  Grief is a journey that we all walk through here.  Definitely a journey with its ever twisting and turning "adventures" -  it is an adventure of sorts.  We can create our own journey.  So let's do just that.  We are writing our own stories and we can choose the path we wish to take.  Any way, my hope is we all support each other because that is how we survive this journey.  Love and hugs to all - Diana

Hello, if you are interested in grief counseling, please contact me.  

We can start with the following:

• How are you feeling right now?
• What are some things that trouble you most?
• Tell me about your eating patterns.
• Are you sleeping?

I want to be of service to all of you.  Thank you.  

In regards to fees:

I am a certified grief counselor, accredited with The American Academy of Grief Counseling.  You can check them out here:  http://aihcp.net/american-academy-of-grief-counseling

We will be in a safe and private online environment. Anything you share is confidential.

It's affordable. 

Pay a low monthly flat fee of 30 dollars for unlimited sessions with me, your counselor – Diana Young.

It's convenient.

Do it at your own time and at your own pace. Communicate with me as often as you want and whenever you feel it's needed. I live in Eastern Standard time.  I'm looking forward to working with anyone that needs assistance.  Grief is a journey and I will be there to assist you along your path.  Peace and love to all.  - Diana

I still feel very crummy today and just can not find a way to stop crying and I sure do know the holidays going to be rough for me this year without my mother around

Research shows there is a high need for grief counselors to address food issues.  Besides being a Certified Grief Counselor, I am also a Registered and Licensed Dietitian/Nutritionist.  Please indicate if you eating habits have changed.  I can offer suggestions that can and will be helpful.  

Hugs,

Diana

Hi Diana

Eating has been an issue I have been struggling with. I have no appetite and when I do I crave sugar. Sleeping is also a struggle. Any suggestions you may have will be welcome with open arms.

LISA

still sobin on off over my cat had so mush lisne 2012 sine my dad died but my cat giv me so mush luv ovr 16 yrs of frnd shp 

sorry if i sond mad 

i no sum pepe say its only a cat why get so uspett?????? coz she giv me so mush luv

sorrry if im goin on 2 mush

Hi Jo,

Our pets are just like one of the family. I don't now what I'll do if my sweet dog Babie J passed on. She has brought me so much love and comfort since losing my Husband.

So sorry for you Loss.

Linda

thnx linda 

spoil yore dog giv her loeds of luv i cunt evn go in vets i cunt coz i no iw ud of bean no gud 2 my cat or my slf plsd my brhtr had 2 tak ehr her 2 get put 2 sleeep i no tears r cumin goin thy r 

Grief:  Nobody on this earth would blame you if you became depressed and didn't want to carry on, but sometimes the mind can work powerful miracles. Even in the worst times there is hope and you should never give in to the dark storms that are approaching.

 If you've lost your appetite, try simple comfort foods, such as soups, mashed potatoes with chicken or meatloaf, fruit and yogurt smoothies, puddings, pasta, or foods from your childhood or cultural background. Eating small portions frequently may help, as well. Take a multivitamin to cover any nutrients your diet isn't currently supplying.  

bean 2 sea my cat lucys grav 2 day i put sum flowrs on varse on her grav id di

if u loze a pet if thy hav grv grav it a grt way 2 put flowrs on it for thm i feal sad shes gon but i no i can go sea her grav wen i wnt i can 

hears a pic of flowrs i put on lucys grav 

my brth bured her in his gardn so i can go sea her wen i wnt 2

Jo,

The flowers are just beautiful.

Take Care, Linda

thnx linda 

Jo,

What a beautiful post.

Linda

thnx 

i wz tryin 2 fnd sothng o  lin 2 brng e me comft thd ths 1 is for al of us its ad had pet loss not just me  

dear jo b,

i have also lost cats.

they gave me so much love, one over 16 years and one over nearly 21. their loss is very, very hard. it's healthy to grieve over a loss like that, you do not sound mad.

lots of hugs to you.

there are some books specifically on grieving our animal companions, they can be very helpful

thnx mh

i no pet loss can be bads as a humn loss u cud say iv gt 2 tiny kitns 2 kpp me bizy i ahv hav it 2 loeds of sill ltl skrps thy r thn i say i wsht my cat lucy it pass cud of met u 2 it wz ovr 16 of lovin frnshp we had 

Michael,

I have complicated grief and see a therapist every two weeks and take meds. It does help a little because I can pour my heart out to her and am not judged. 

I miss my mom it has been 11 months since I lost her to cancer. It was difficult to go on through the holidays. I love her and miss her dearly. I hope we can all make it and continue on without her.

yep miss evry 1 evn pets we loss wil be a big miss 2  no 1 gets it till it hapnes 2 thm 

its lk a big gap stolin way off us its lk evry 1 we luv bean stolin off us its lk thy stoll or herts thn brok ourr herts thy did 

Michael,

Linda is correct in her statement.  Most here are experiencing complicated grief.  It helps, like Linda said, to pour our hearts out here.  If suicide is ever a thought I would consider seeing someone face to face immediately and calling the suicide hotline posted on the main page.  

Hi Diana,

Thanks, for your comment, I don't know what I would have done without this wonderful web-site and the people on it.

Linda

sorrry if i carz upset 2 any 1 on hear but i luv washin ths man its sad he had 2 pass colin fryhttp://vimeo.com/39734211

http://vimeo.com/15143745

luv ths osng dont u fogt abot me yea why shid i fogt abot pele its died wen my dad died i wz told fogrt abot foget he evrr exsit hs only yore dad or els its easy why on erth shid i foget abot my dad man i luvd if i evr get a man lk my dad i  be lplsd evn if his hrd up deprt 2 go wit me 

why shud i foget a bt pe;le its died thy imprt pele ty lvd thy died ty sufed we hear sfiin coz of loss  or i let ithapen wish i new how i let it hoapen  i do

i just wish we all hear on a gahn lk a party noy a loss/losses or a brake or holday ot loses lk evry 2 ean happy agan not way we r now no 1 gets a loss til it hapend 2 thm

The Mayo Clinic defines complicated grief as follows:

During the first few months after a loss, many signs and symptoms of normal grief are the same as those of complicated grief. However, while normal grief symptoms gradually start to fade over time, those of complicated grief linger or get worse. Complicated grief is like being in an ongoing, heightened state of mourning that keeps you from healing.

Signs and symptoms of complicated grief may include:

• Intense sorrow and pain at the thought of your loved one
• Focus on little else but your loved one's death
• Extreme focus on reminders of the loved one or excessive avoidance of reminders
• Intense and persistent longing or pining for the deceased
• Problems accepting the death
• Numbness or detachment
• Bitterness about your loss
• Feeling that life holds no meaning or purpose
• Irritability or agitation
• Lack of trust in others
• Inability to enjoy life or think back on positive experiences with your loved one

If you are experiencing complicated grief, please contact me.  

iv loss wait agan i no ths tim its ovr a pet losss i no sum pelepl dnt unstdn a a cat/dog loss ulles thy hav pet dnt matr ifs nota cat/dog cud be a spyder or bugoe or so it ca n be it still kills us lk hell it can ]i no i haf lucy fr 16 yrs bt she gt be thru sum bad tims aftr my dad died she did i get ltd 2 grow up stp bean lk a kid uv 2 new cats nws well kittns u shud say 

bt lucy gt me thru sum sad momts in y if lif evn my mst darks secrts i tld her yes she wz a cat bt or huen fealinthn humn beans evr had she did she dnt tell me ay i shud feal or swer it me or tel world 2  im not goin say on hear i nt wnt no kor gilt on my ciseses i dnt 

sory cnt typ prop agan arhrts wnt let me typ sorry

This is beyond overwhelming. I am so sorry for your loss and for the hardships it has brought on. Do you have family to give emotional support? Is there someone who can help with the children for awhile?

My heart goes out to you Jules! 

Bluebell

Jules,

   I am so sorry for your loss.   Your husband was very young.   My husband was older, but I know what you mean about sudden death.   Family is important at this time.   I hope you have someone to help with the children.   It's important to have others there for us.   I'm sure you will find this site helpful.   It has been a blessing to me.