Lisa it will be 6 months for me in June, I do the same as you, I know she is very close and listening.

Sometimes when I sit and think about not having her for the rest of my life I cry.  Then I say to myself, she is at peace, nothing hurts anymore.  I understand what she used to say to me, that we don't belong here this is not home, home is with God take us anytime.  Just to have one more minute to say I love you mom is all I wanted......

Thank you for your kind words Nancy.  My two brothers and sister were close to my Mom and we were a very close family.  We have been trying to spend more time with each other but sometimes I just don't like to be around anybody. 

Mom passed away on October 8, 2015.  During the second week of June I always traveled to her place to see her and spend quality time with her.  I always took her to the beauty salon, her favorite restaurant, doctor and to my brother's house.  Yesterday I was really depressed and crying thinking that I can't go to see her.  She is in Heaven.   Love you and miss you mom.

Margie, I feel the same way I used to go to my moms every Sunday and sometimes during the week when I was off from work, she cooked my husband and I dinner every Sunday and wouldn't take no for an answer.  For me the 19th of June will be 6 months.  I miss her so much, my heart aches.  How does it get better with time as people say? 

Theresa, Thank you for your reply to my post. June 24th will be four months Mom has been gone. This past week seems worse than all the others. I have just felt so completely hopeless and alone even though I have family and coworkers all around me every day. I spent the weekend with my brother, sister and dad and that is exactly where I want to be is with them (the family I born into into) but when we all have to leave and go back to our homes, it really takes a toll on me. I have cried as much this week as I did the first week. Mom has gained her reward in Heaven with a new body that doesn't hurt anywhere and for that, I am grateful but I'm also selfish I guess because I still want her in my life daily. In my heart, I know she is all around me and she gave me everything I need to survive her but that doesn't make it any easier. I miss her unconditional love and complete acceptance of who I am. She always had a way of settling things right where they needed to be. 

Lisa you described how I feel exactly.....

I wake up every morning and cry, it just happens, I tell my mom I miss her.  Next week she would have been 93

My nerves are wreaking havoc on my body, my stomach, my back aches.

I'm tired, I just try to keep going.

its been 2 years and a bit but so hard to take steps forward. i have managed somehow with a lot of problems but that special bond...taking it month t month even noow so bless you all.  it never goes away but the pan had taken its own path

meant pain not pan.  The raw pain makes a comeback when the weather changes so guys just remember it never goes away but we must learn to live with the grief and yet find a way

Almost 9 months and still hurts so much.  No desire of entertainment, just thinking about her.  I miss her so much.  I feel empty.

2.5 years and still nervous about the road ahead

I think about my Mom everyday and wish I could just call her up to chat about things.  We had terrific conversations.  It hasn't even been six months since she passed and the profound grief is still a part of my day.  I think you don't really get over the loss.  You just have to find find a way to cope with it. 

*hugs* Joanna.  Birthday's are hard days for us, especially the first one after the passing. 

So sorry Joanna.  It's so hard.  I miss my Mom so much too.  I cry every day :(

We all feel the same, it will be 7 months this month for me, I miss her so much, but I just keep trying to live my life like she told me, her and I were talking one day a couple of months before she passed as we were leaving the cemetery visiting our deceased loved ones, and  I said mom time just keeps going on even after someone we love passes and she said, yes it does, she told me "I lived my life you'll have to live yours"........I can't get that out of my mind...

Mom has been gone a little more than 4 months. I know in my heart I will always miss her. Some days all I can do is cry. Other days I think about something she did or said and I smile or laugh out loud. Doing my best to move forward but never a day when I don't feel completely alone and isolated, even though I work everyday and have family around me every day. It just feels like there's no one to reach out to and explain how I feel because the only ones who can truly understand are those who also have lost their mothers. It continues to change me. I don't get too excited over things anymore and I find that I'm more tolerant of my loved ones. I miss her all the time. 

Julie, you have to have faith..........

I used to call my mom ten times a day also, she was my world, and now there is a big void in it.

You are not alone, read all the posts from everyone, we all lost our moms and we all are in pain.

You are not alone.

Hi Julie,

I feel your pain every day. We all do. That is why we are here on this site. My mom and I talked everyday and we did a lot of things together and most of all we supported each other every day always. Because of that support and unconditional love I received from my mom, I know I have the strength to bare this incredible pain and loss and if you were that close to your mom, I know you do too. Although it will never feel like you do because we just want them back and our life to go back to that time when they were here with us. It's very hard to fathom that life goes on and it has even made me mad many times when I see life just continuing on without my beautiful momma being here. But I do know that Mom taught me everything she had to teach and loved me in every way she possibly could and that is why I know I can survive this as hard as it is. She instilled that in me. Julie, search for your mom's advice. Its still there inside of you. I also find it a little easier to only focus on how to get through today only. TODAY! If I think about the week, the year, my life it's too overwhelming. So I focus on only the things I need to do to be ok TODAY! I hope something I've said helps you in some way. 

Nancy,

i don't think that is so crazy. I think my mom is doing the same thing to me with hearts. Mom has been gone since Feb. 24th this year and a few months ago, I noticed there was a heart shaped light shining on my hallway floor. I looked around everywhere for a window or light that might be causing it but there was nothing. It was coming from a candle warmer that I have plugged in my hallway but the warmer ONLY has holes in it that would shine circle lights on the floor if anything but it was a heart and its still there. Its been there all this time. I never noticed it before then. A few days ago, my sister sent me a picture of a heart shaped light on her wall and again it was coming from her candle warmer but there were no heart shaped cut outs in her warmer either. Hers only has line shaped cut outs in it. I believe these things do happen from the spirits of our loved ones but often times they go unnoticed. Many people will miss the signs that are all around them. I also talk with God about giving my Mom hugs and I Love You's from me to her. 

I agree mine is the number 5, my dad died on 12/14, my mom on 12/19 and my grandmother on 12/24, 5 days in between each, the number 555 keeps showing up at different times oddly enough

I just passed one year for my mother's death.  Tomorrow will actually be one year since she was buried.  I've been learning things about my mother since she died.  About things she had to deal with.  Things that she did and never said a word.  I'm actually starting to understand her better...and her pain and why she seemed to lose the will to fight, I think.  It makes me feel a little closer to her.  Has anyone else experienced this?

Charlie, My mother left me in charge of everything 3 years 3 months and one week ago today. I know exactly what she was dealing with and now I am doing my best to do what I can as best that I can everyday. I am missing her guidance and calmness to get me through the really tough spots and there have been many. More to come. sigh. Feeling sad and so very alone without her everyday. Jean

I'm so sorry your heart is so sad, Jean.  But I completely understand, too.  My grief comes and goes and grieving for my mother was interrupted exactly one month after she died because my husband unexpectedly passed away.  Now I have no one to talk to.  I, too, feel very, very alone. 

Hello all....

Just wanted to drop a note to say how much help you all have provided me by talking about the loss of our mums. Every note and comment in this forum shows us how much our mums mean to us.

I loss my mother just before Christmas last year and like everybody else, there are some days where the grief and pain are over whelming and I wonder how things could get better. There has not been a day since where I have not thought about mum, and telling her how much I love and miss her.

It is not easy getting on with life and by reading all your stories, it helps me understand that I am not the only one who is hurting out there. But I am pretty sure our mothers would want us to soldier on and make the most of our lives and it is this thought that I hold on to until the day I get to see her again in Heaven.

I will keep you all in my prayers and I know that it will a long road that we are all taking to overcome the loss of our Mums. Thank you everybody.....

Dear brothers and sisters:

We are united in these circumstances, and understand what each other is going through. It is not always the case out there.

Love everyone of you, and feel what you are going thru as my Mom, best friend went to the Lord in 2012 and the pain remains.

May God give us strength each day at a time.

I lost my momma May 22 of this year, a few weeks shy of her 38th birthday and a month shy of my 20th birthday, to an accidental overdose.. Losing her has been the most unbearable pain that I have ever experienced in my life and now I have to watch my two year old son, fourteen year old little sister and her husband of eleven years always miss her too.. My mother lost her mother to suicide (overdose) when my mother was roughly my age, so when the autopsy on my own mother came back as "accidental overdose," it really killed me inside. It's only been two months and five days since I lost my mother, but it feels like a life time..

Hi,

I lost my mom just 3 weeks ago.  She had been hospitalized for a blood clot and so had to have surgery to remove it (she had just turned 90 a few weeks earlier).  She came through the surgery well according to the doctor.  She had had the surgery on a friday night and my sister and I waited around until 2:30 on Saturday morning to see her in recovery.  However they still couldn't say when we could see her so we both went home.  I spoke with my sister later that morning and she said she would be going in and would let me know how she was doing (I lived further out about a half hour away).  I went about the business of the day.  Mid afternoon I get a frantic call from my sister saying that she was coding.  My sister had just talked to her and left to go get some food.  As soon as she left, her heart stopped!  It was like she was waiting to go but couldn't do it with her there.  They worked on her for close to 15 minutes and brought her back.  I flew in to see her.  They had her on life support and we were told that she could have significant brain damage and were basically preparing us that she most likely will not be here much longer.  The doctor said that the next day would determine what would be next for our mom.  They would take out the breathing tube first then go from there to see what she will be able to do on her own.  So the next day comes, I came in in the morning to sit with her in ICU and was greeted with my mom saying hello, dear!  I was so astonished and so dang happy that the doctor was wrong!  So we descended into a roller coaster ride of, she's getting stronger, no actually she's not and in the last couple of weeks she slowly stopped eating.  The last few days of her life she was only drinking water and sips of her gingerale.  During that time I had an experience with her that I keep coming back to and am now wishing I had handled differently.  My mom was having a really bad day and in a lot of discomfort.  The nurses were trying to get her up in to her wheelchair so she could sit up for a bit.  When the nurse spoke to my mom to ask her if she wanted to get up, she held on to her hand and said, "please let me die".  The nurse said to her that it wasn't up to her and apologized to her.  She seemed to accept that answer and went back to sleep.  A few minutes later she woke right up and turned to me and said, "Heather, I want to die, this is such a pain in the ass..."  All i could think to say was, "I know it is such a pain in the ass, mom".  I wonder if I had said something different, like gave her my permission to go, if maybe she would have let go with my sister and I there?  Instead of the way she passed with neither one of us there. She just slipped away by herself.  I feel like she knew we didn't want to let her go and this was her way of leaving without the pull of us wanting her to stay.  I really truly thought that she would pull through.  I mean here she was 90 years old and about 5 ft tall and weighed about 100lbs and she survived a heart attack and severe bruising around her heart from being resuscitated! She died a month to the day she suffered the heart attack.  I often think that she was suppose to pass away the day of her heart attack (she had her heart attack June 4 and died July 4).  She must have heard us that day as my sister and I cried over her in ICU that night...Does anyone believe that?  Even though a person is not conscious that they can still hear things that are said around them?   She was THE  toughest person I knew...I don't know how to be without her and I miss her so much that I feel that I can't breathe...She was our only parent left (my dad died 13 years ago)...

Heather

I just wanted to see how you are doing.

Hi Heather

I agree, if I keep busy with work it distracts me, but the weekends are toughest for me.

We used to go to my moms every Sunday.....

I just can't believe next week will be 8 months, I keep re-living everything in my head.

I keep telling myself it was my moms time to go home.  I just want this year to be over.  Not that next year will be any better, but they say time heals.

Take care :)

You too Heather, thank you.

Caroline, may I talk with you?

I lost my Mom, my very best friend in the world this past June 8. Suddenly, at 68. I found her. 3 months before my wedding. I am devastated. I am for the first time in my life seeing a therapist. I really can't say one way or the other if it doing anything for me, but I'll keep trying. I wanted to get involved in something where I could chat with other people who are going through a similar loss. Losing my Mom has been just the most agonizing experience of my life. I miss her every single second of every day. We talked about EVERYTHING, we went everywhere together. I saw her almost every single day, she lived across the street from me. If she wasn't staying, she'd just pop in to say hello and kiss her granddaughter. We spoke on gchat, phone and email throughout the day, every day. My daughter was her pride and joy. She was not ready to go and I am sure of this. She wanted to see her "pumpkin pie" grow up and to see my fiance and I possibly grow as a family. I am not seeing a light at the end of this tunnel. People say time and I do understand that in time it may get slightly easier, but how can I ever be the same or even close to as happy as I was without my Mom? How will I ever smile at my wedding? The thought of never hugging her again or seeing her smile just kills me. The void I feel is just paralyzing.  

Thank you Heather, I am trying. Every day is a struggle.