It's been a little over 2 months since my mom died and I feel the same as I did the day I got the call. Totally devastated and so so sad. I miss her so much and I just can not even imagine how I am going to get through the rest of my life without her. =(

My condolences are with you Crystal.

Its very tough Alexandra for someone in their mid 20's so you are really an adolescent almost.  I am lucky to have my parents with me in my 20's and 30's.  I thank God for that.  But even now just think as if your Mom is there with you and for you. That is how I try to hang on. 

I wish you the best.

Alexandra -I'm so sorry about your mom. Its hard but its ok to be angry, I get angry and my mom died last Dec.

It's been almost a year since my mom passed away and i still cry and miss her so much.  i love you mommy.

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Yes i do.

Yes I do feel like that but I always knew there is no loyalty with people other than parents. 

Does anyone know of a grief counselor or support group in SF?  It's been four months since my Mom died, and it seems like it just gets harder, instead of easier.  I think it's finally hitting me that she is really gone.  I feel so lost without her, and my friends have not been supportive at all.  My dad just wants to move on.  

HB, I feel your pain. Seeking counseling or a support group could be the right thing for you to do. I know in my case, four months into it I felt horrible, it is over a year for me and it is still hard. Losing a wonderful mother is so devastating, to feel as you do is human. And, it does not surprise me that most people around you do not understand, it seems to be the norm for most of us here.

May God give us all strength.

Thank you, Martha.  My mom was my best friend, my rock.  I feel like people have more sympathy for a break up with a boyfriend.  I listen to my friends go on about some guy they broke up with years ago that they are not over yet, and no one seems to care that I lost my whole world.  My dad refuses to talk about her at all and just wants to talk about his dates and new friends.  I sympathize with him since she was sick for so long, but I feel like I have no one to turn to.  Before, when I was sad, I'd call my mom.  I just found this group, and it's been some comfort to see that I'm not alone in this.

HB, it amazes me how we have to listen to the most trivial stuff from the people around us. I talk to my mother (not at loud if people are around) same as she was physically here. I know that spiritually she is, and this helps me. When you think of her send her love and the light of God. Our mothers never leave us, they are with us always in their spiritual self. This bond will never be broken, there is comfort in knowing this. You might want to read "Journey of Souls". 

I am trying hard to make this difficult time into an opportunity to get more in touch with that which is spiritual, the only true reality there is.

HB I know its hard..... I still miss my mom and she died last Dec.

Facing my first crisis yesterday on my own since my mom passed, I'd like to believe she made a miracle happen.

Yes, it is hard for people to sympathize when they have not had this kind of loss.  I also think that those individuals don't want to think about such things, so if we dwell on it, then they become uncomfortable.  To some extent, I think that's a natural reaction.  So, we wind up reaching out to those who have had a similar experience.  Monday was 6 months for me....still feels like yesterday.  Just very hard to accept, even though I must.

basically that is how it is.  I do not even talk to any of my contacts about it as they don't get it.  They also talk about trivial issues as Martha pointed out.  I just do my own grieving and while my health has really suffered, there has been a wee bit of improvement due to the intense reading I am doing.  It is a massive loss but we need to find some ways to hang on for now.

I feel everyone's pain in this very touching group. It is as if I have found new brothers, and sisters all having lost that most wonderful being, our Moms. So pardon me for commenting on the latest posts, but I feel I must.

Muuna: Of course your Mom will be watching over you at your wedding. Spirit is eternal. She will be there for you, she is there for you now. Connect to that which is real, your spiritual side.

Danny: It is so good of you to help yourself by reading, and yes our health suffer because the heartache is huge.

Jeff: You are so strong at only 6 months of your loss. Your Mom has to be very proud of you.

Sheila: Yes, of course it was a miracle. Your Mom is your Angel now, and miracles will happen exactly as you need them.

Lisa: Your words are very profound. Our world has turned black and white since our Moms left. So well said.

HB: Please keep posting, it not only helps you, but it helps us, as well.

Love you all

I received a promotion at work today. That in itself made me happy, but I had a pang of sadness in the realization that I could not share this good news with Mom. I'm sure there will be other instances like these--milestones she won't witness or share with me. And that's something that will take a long time to get used to. Miss you, Mom.

Thanks Martha.  I need to try and heal so I feel one has to do some therapy even it is self or through a group.  I am reading articles on the Web actually as well did a lot of that in the first month.  I hardly talked to any colleagues about it so that was a good thing too. 

Hi HB I see where you are coming from.  Yes, friends will make it worse by talking about their boyfriends so my advice is to be with them but don't talk about any grief.  They don't know.  Also think that your loved one is now at peace since you mentioned she was not well for a while.  So if you do these two things it will help you.  It helped me a lot and also I did a lot of talking to my doctor if that helps.

Thanks, Danny.  I learned very quickly that I can't talk to anyone about my grief, except on here.  No one wants to hear it.  I find myself getting so angry that they expect me to listen to them go on about some guy that broke up with them months ago, and yet no one has any interest in lending an ear for my heartbreak.  One of my friends actually told me that I'm "too much drama" now, but not to take it personally-- only a few weeks after she said she'd do anything to support me.   Clearly, not a real friend, but it made me feel even more alone.  Thanks to all of you for responding.  It helps a little, especially on days like today.  

Eliza, congratulations on your promotion-- I'm sure your mom knows somehow and is so proud of you.

Sheila, I don't know if it will help you, but I try to imagine what my mom would say and it helps me a little.  She used to always tell me that "everything is replaceable but [me], her treasure".  I hope you're doing better.

Welcome HB.  Sleep well.

Mom, I know you are in Heaven in perfect peace with many of our family members, but I miss you so very much. We will see each other when it is my time, and that comforts me. Thank goodness, I see you in my dreams sometimes, and that is such a gift.

I am now part of a wonderful group of folks that have lost their Moms, as well. Please have all the Mom's in Heaven send us strength as we all need it.

Had to attend another wake/viewing today as my cousin's wife passed away.  this is the 3rd wake for my family since december---another cousin lost his wife in Dec, then my Mom in Feb, now this loss.  everyone is a bit drained at this point, I have to say.  Life's tough, but we all do our best to tread forward.

My heart goes out to you all here... I feel the same way also. Everyday is a struggle. and yes Sheila I think your Mom is up there watching over you. and HB I feel the same way also. People don't understand this pain. only the people here understands. we are here for one another cause we are all in this together.  Hang in there everyone.

Angela, you are so right. 

Also, please join us on Chat when you are feeling really down. It helps. We have talked with some of you already, and look forward to chatting with more from this wonderful group. It makes a difference. 

hello everyone, my mom is heavily on my mind this week, nothing special, I just found some of her old clothes and things, I hope to get stronger, its been rough

mom, I love you....I thought of her in church last week and started balling....I love her so

Tough day here today. i miss my Mom so very much. There is so much emptiness inside, and out since that saddest of day when she passed. Wished I had words of encouragement like i usually do, but today i have none, please forgive me.

Hang in there, Rachel and Martha. 

I miss you and love you with all my heart, Momma <3

Thank you Martha, the miracle is still happening. I hope he pulls through.

Thank you Kristin, and Sheila please keep us posted.

Love to all.

Missing my mom would be an understatement. I look at her pictures and be like what happen, did I miss the memo......Where did you go and why aren't you back yet. I was supposed to get a new urn for my mother but I dont have the strength or the heart to look at the ashes. I am so hurt an have had those thoughts of suicide and I think I am here for a reason through her, so I have to Live...Just how I feel today!

Exactly Brette I had the same thoughts and through extensive reading, talking to a few select people and my own ideas it is slightly better now than before and I also feel I am here for a reason through her so that is a reason to live.  Ditto. Last 3 days have been tough for me actually.

dear Alexandra,

Iknow the feeling.  My dad gave my moms things to my brother, who really doesn't appreciate or deserve my mom's stuff.  It broke my heart.

I find it amazing that the surviving spouse can move on so fast and so easily.  Sibling disputes are an old story but this one is new to me that the person can move on so fast.  My support to you both. 

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Thanks Martha. 

The next three months are going to be hard.  September is when we found out her cancer had metastasized into her back, she spent 2 months in the hospital, and Dad and I were there every day.  Then 2 wasted weeks at "rehab" which was a joke...they never tried to get her back on her feet, and then another hospitalization for pneumonia.  We got her home in early November and were able to celebrate her birthday and Turkey day with her.  I can't believe it is coming up on a year...some days it seems like she has been gone for longer, and other days..well...like it just happened again.  I miss her, and when I am missing her HARD, I can feel that wound to my heart.  My SIL thinks she "knows" how I am feeling, that she feels the same way....let's just say I had to bite my tongue to keep from jumping down her throat!

   I am sorry for the rant...just...it's been hard lately, that's why I haven't posted more.  My prayers are with everyone here.

Ann, no need to say sorry about how you feel. You need to let it out, and this is the place to do it. We are all going through the same loss, we know what is like, and we all have to deal with people that have no clue how devastating losing our Moms can be. 

May God give us the strength to go on each and everyday.

It's been over 7 months and I still get emotional in public, that I could cry. I was in the bank yesterday, something about my mom's account and I almost started crying right there at the desk. So sad, I'd like my mom to exist in this world as she did before. I hate the fact that for the most part (except in my heart) she's just a name in a piece of paper now.

Yes it is very tough but again, one week at a time.  The first year is going to be brutal and I know it.  Not expecting a thing during this time but hoping to survive.

I miss my mom so much.  We have pretty much cleaned out my moms house.  I cried for a week straight when I came home from work to see my mom's living room furniture in my living room now.  I cry more now than I did when she passed.  My brother is being such a jerk and wanting to sell the house ASAP.  I hate to say this but I hate my brother.  My mothers death has made him so mean and so greedy that I can't stand it.  I feel that I might lose it at any moment.  My mom trusted him.  I told her not to but she said he will be fair.  Well guess what! He is stealing from the rest of us.  He is so intent on selling her house. he is forcing us to sell it.  I am grieving and I am so angry.  This is not a good combination. 

I use to have 2 bothers and 2 sister.  I now have 1 brother and 1 sister.  I could never understand why this happens in families.  But now I know.  I know how it happens.  I do not wish this on my worst enemy. 

My mom was a good person.  She was the sweet little old grandmother you would see out.  She talked to everyone.  Knew everyone.  I just can't believe she has been gone for 8 months now.  How does time keep moving?  It should have stopped when she stopped.  I was the last persons eyes she looked into before she died.  How am I suppose to go on with that memory.  It tares me apart. 

so many common elements here....I've also been at the cemetary every few weeks since early summer.  It is really weird when you think about your parents being in the ground below you...very hard to rationalize. I put the flowers and say a few prayers.  My Mom's older sister is buried opposite my Mom (in the next row).   She was also my Godmother and we were very close.   I make my stop there as well and try to think of happier time when we were all together doing something fun...shopping, Atlantic City, dinner, etc.  Yes, time just keeps moving on.  this weekend, tenants will be moving into my Mom's house.  It's been so weird emptying it out...I too, have some of the furniture and lamps in my home now. It just feels so screwed up.  But, time moves on.  Just hard to readjust.