Lisa S

Female

Murrieta, CA

United States

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About Me:

I am a 43 year old wife and mom to 2 kids (16 & 13)

About my Loss:

Mine is a unique situation. My father committed suicide when I was 21 (convicted rapist), my mother and I have had a strained relationship since she sent me to live with my father at the age of 12. I met my "true" parents at the age of 18 when I met my future mother and father in-law. They were the most supporitive, loving parents I could have ever dreamed of. And they were the best grandparents any grandchild could ask for. Our life was not perfect, but very rich in love, support and friendship. In 2006, after a 6 month battle with colon cancer, my father in law passed at the "youthful" age of 67. In 2009, after a 12 month battle with Uterine cancer, my mother in law passed at the "youthful" age of 67. They were both in EXCELLENT health and so happy in their life with us and their 2 sons, 2 daughter in laws, and 3 grand kids. They were my kids full time day care providers while my husband and I were at work (by their choice - they would not have it any other way). They were our friends, we often dinnered together and planned every vacation together. My mother in law was also my best friend and closest ally...she was the "mom" I never had. My sadness and grief is so child like, it is overwhelming at times. My husband and brother in law are having just as hard of a time even after the years that have passed. They show it more in anger. I don't feel that there is anyone that really understands, friends don't even ask anymore about it. I am in the process of reading The Orphaned Adult, which has really helped me to feel sane. My husband and I agree that we feel like we have also lost precious years of our childrens young lives as we have tried to numb ourselves to get through the severe sense of loss we feel. I am a logical person, and I know that we all will die. Why is it so hard to just be thankful for the time we were so blessed. That is what my mind tells me, but my heart just can't seem to adjust.

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