Thanks for your comment. I lost my mom on Dec 27,2012

Hello Emily,

I am sorry about your loss. I lost mine last year, as well. Nothing will ever be the same.

I pray everyday for God to give me the strength to go on.

Besides praying, what else do you do to cope with your loss?

I read a book that really helped. "Journey of Souls" by Dr. Michael Newton after my loved one passed on. And, "Practicing the Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle is very helpful along with all his other material.

Watching "Super Soul Sunday" on OWN. If you do not have the chanel you could watch on her website.

A friend of mine who lost her grandmother whom she loved as a mother told me to talk to my mother (I tried to do it only in my head, as some people might not understand it, and think I am nutty). Yesterday, I asked her to have a dove come to the window. Well, I was sitting looking out the very window this morning, and there it was, the dove just sitting there totally at peace.

My goal is to go deeper into the spiritual dimension which is our true reality. That is were our loved ones are, and where we are going.

I just ordered a couple of other books, and will let you know how they are.

Hope you find this helpful.

Hello everyone. I just joined this group, thanks for the add. My mom died April 19th of this year and I am trying to figure out how to cope so I was looking on-line for support. It's just me and my 3 boys at home so I am trying to keep things together at work and when I get home and not doing a good job at either. I want my boys to see some of the grieving process but not so much that they worry and get scared for me. That's not good for them either. So I continue to try to cope and feel as if I will have an emotional breakdown at any time. I just hope it happens at a time whey my boys are not home but I know I can't schedule it. Anyway, I'm glad to be here.

Glad you are here Karen, I imagine it must be hard with the three kids at home, don't be too hard on yourself. Grief is difficult for everyone.

Hi All,

We are glad you are here also. It helps to know others feel the same as you and that it does get better.

What I m going to say you all may find weird, but I think comfort comes in all different forms.

I have 5 cats and 2 rabbits in my home(no I am not crazy but sometimes I wonder). My Mother died late in the evening and I went to see her after. Once I returned home and tried to sleep I was not alone. My only boy kitty Petey was right with me. Everynight for 4 months this cat who never slept with me before, did so no matter if any other cat was there or what he had to go through to get there. He let me snuggle him and give him kisses(which he hates) and anything I wanted to do. My husband can't do any of that without him crying.

What reminded me is this. I was making a cross stitch hummingbird picture for Mom. I finished it today. It has been nice and very upsetting at the same time. As I sit here who is here---Petey. Sometimes I wonder if it is my Mother coming to comfort me in a way she knows will help me through him. Or just is little fuzzy heart knowing I need someone to help me through and he loves me enough to help.

All I know is you look for comfort where you can find it, even in large(he is a 25 pound cat), fuzzy packages. I can cry all over him and he does not care, and that is a great help to me.

One other thing. I just found out my niece is pregnant. Her other children used to come and visit my Mother when my brother(their Grandpa) was sitting for them. They used to call her "Banana Grandma" because she always bananas in the house and they made a game of sneaking in and stealing a banana. I can't help thinking how this child will never know "Banana Grandma".

Animals just have a sixth sense about these things and are much smarter than we suspect.  About 4 weeks after my Mom passed, I brought my terrier to her house (she had not been over to see Mom in some time).  She charged into the living room looking for Mom and then turned to me as to say "where did she go?".  Mom loved the dogs and their little visits were one of the few things that made her smile.

You are right Jeff. Mother was "old school". You had animals to work for you, like horses pulling plows, cats for mousing in the barn etc. When I replaced my front doors she said I had to get a full glass storm door so the cats could look outside like they were used to doing(she faked not liking them a lot).

I think that is why she would come to me via Petey. She would know that would comfort me.

In 2 weeks it will be 6 months since my mom has been gone.  It feels like the grief is really setting in more and more.  I think I had been more in shock the first several months.  I sure do miss her.  It has been very difficult dealing with siblings over her estate.  Slowly my mom and dad are fading away.  I have many of her things at my home now.  I have boxes everywhere, but I find it so difficult to go through the things.  I wanted to give somethings directly to my son, but do not have the strenght, physically or emotionally to go through the items.   I feel like I need a retreat to clear my mind.  I know we are all hurting here, it helps to know that there are others who understand. 

Nancy,

I also have boxes of my Mom's stuff sitting in my family room.  Some of the more personal stuff, well, it's just too hard to go through right now.  Even tho' it's been 4 months now since she passed (yesterday actually).  I've gotten help in emptying out her house and it is just awfully depressing, there's no other way to say it.  I go through her stuff in spurts, when I feel up to it.  So, your feelings are quite normal.  There's just an awful sense of finality when you get to this stage...feels like you are wiping away everything about that person.  But, I am carefully selecting momentos and trinkets I want to keep from my Mom (and her sisters) so I can have some nicer memories in time.

It's been one month and six days now since my Mom has been gone. I see her reading glasses just sitting on a shelf like she'll be back to pick them up at any moment. For some reason, I don't want to get rid of them. I adopted one of her cats. I just couldn't let him go too and I know she would have wanted that. My sister and I want to have quilts made from her clothing. But I know going through them is going to be so hard. I don't want her things, I just want my Mom back. My life is falling apart.

The last few days have been hard for me, as well. Luckily, I don't have to sort through any of Mom's things because my father is still alive and living in the home. I do have to stop him from throwing everything away in an effort to keep busy, though. Two months ago, when my mom died, I had a mindset of "Someday soon I will have a baby that will never know my mom." "Someday" is quickly approaching, and I'm not ready for that reality. It's not the life I wanted for me or for my kids, and it's been very hard to accept lately.

I guess I am also glad we had to clean out Mom's apartment so quickly. But it felt like we were taking away her things and she would be mad when she came back. We had not accepted the fact that she was gone when we were spliting up her stuff. I still some of it in my dining room, but I am planning to start organizing things this week. Decide what I am going to pack away and what to keep out.

I hung the hummingbird picture I wasing making for her in my livingroom along with the one I made her several years ago about Mother's. I would give anything to turn back time and have her here again. 

 I feel for everyone here who is going thru losing their Mom. I miss her every day. And, Cindy I completely understand how the waking up and facing this harsh reality is rough, only time I feel better is when I sleep.

Martha i agree with you 100%.I put up a strong front for people but,when I get home I just fall apart,I feel like a child that just wants her mommy.I can find no comfort,peace or hope.I just don't want to go on without her,the world is a cold and empty place without her.I sleep with her pillow and myself to sleep.I will never be a whole person again,I am broken,shattered...I don't think I can ever be truly happy again!

My condolences to all the new members and to the old members too.  Next month will be one yea rsince mom got sick and it will be one year sine she passed in Sept.  I can't believe its been a year.  feels like yesterday.

July 9th, 2013 will be one year since my mom went to be with the Lord. I have felt so lost this past year but the rest of my family seems to have moved on as if nothing even happened. It has been quite a rude awakening for me because my heart cries and longs for my mom every single day.  I, too, am so thankful for the good souls in this group. It is so healing to know that someone understands.

Hi Muuna,

I understand that it's very easy to get overwhelmed by others' grief at times. It seems sometimes like people want to lean on you/us when they are grieving or they count on you to help them through your grief. My mother was very well known in our community and it seems like every time I go home to visit my dad I run into someone who knew/loved/worked/went to school with her, etc and they are always wanting to express their condolences....but it ultimately turns into them being comforted by me somehow. It used to really get to me and I would get angry, but I learned to look at it that my mother touched a lot of people and therefore there are a lot of people who miss her. I also find it comforting to know that we are not the only ones who are keeping her memory alive.

I hope that you can find a way to deal with other people's grief in a positive way....or at least in a way that does not set you back in your grieving process.

Thinking of you.

It's been a year and a half and I still can't believe my mom is gone.  My entire immediate family is all gone.   I feel like I'm serving some prison sentence where I have to battle the feeling of emptiness until my own last breath.  I'm left alone wondering just exactly what my purpose was on this earth and feel more like whatever it was suppose to be has been supplied.  Now I'm just a bill paying pinball that gets invited to someone elses family gatherings for the holidays so they can say they did a good deed while I get to ache inside watching them all enjoying one another.  I could get a pet to say something is mine but for as cute and loyal as they are it's not the same.  At this point in my life allowing anyone in my life on a personal level is useless.  I'm still so exhausted emotionally over the loss and all the struggles it would be an additional mind game.  I read about the tragic deaths of children and wonder if there is a daily quota to be met in regard to death why does God still spare me knowing I'm miserable and allow the end of an innocent young life?  I just miss my mom so much and will never understand any of this.

Dear family:

I say we are family as we are connected in our loss. We have a lot in common, we love greatly and when there is great love, there is great loss.

We are not alone, God is with us every moment. And, I know our beloved mothers are watching, guiding, and protecting us in the spiritual realm.

Now, that does not mean that at times I forget all of this and feel

helpless.

I wish everyone on this wonderful forum strength, and the certainty that there is a lot more than we perceive. Heaven awaits us when it is our time, and we will be reunited with our loved ones.

It's tough when you lose several immediate family members at once...sometimes you wonder if it's some sort of endurance test.  This happened to my cousin many years back.  It took time and support from other family members for her to begin to feel "normal" again.  My thoughts are with you.

I have been super emotionaly today.  A good friend of mine lost her mother 11 years ago today.  She still grieves for her.  At the end of June last year we found out my mom  had cancer, she died 6 months later.  I finding the 6 mo anniversary very difficult to cope with. 

I feel so alone...I too feel is if I don't have roots anymore.  My family is selling the house that I grew up in I have always refered to my mom's as home.  There are still many of my things from my childhood are still right where I kept them.

My thoughts and prayers are with everyone here.

I just miss my mom.  I wish she didn't have to leave me. 

Today is my day off. I am really down today. Two years June 26th since my Mom died. How much I miss her. I am completely alone in this world. My job sucks. The people I work with just the worst. Mean, ugly and I just want to cry. I try so hard to be the best I can be. I feel so alone today. I could use my Moms advice and a hug. Mean people seem to control the world. What am I suppose to do with my life.

My mom passed away Tuesday.

Good morning everyone,

This morning, I woke up from a dream. In the dream, my phone rang and it was my mom! When I picked up the phone, I said, "Hello?" My mom said "Hey Girlie!" and sounded just like her usual, jovial self. I said "Mama!!! I'm so happy to hear your voice!!!"  . . . . I felt absolutely relieved beyond words to know that this had all been  one.  horrible. dream . . . .  and then I woke up. . . in tears.

May the Lord help me and everyone else in this group, through this day. I have faith that somehow, we'll all be able to find what we need, step by step, to keep going on and to be okay. I believe it's what our moms want for us.

My thoughts are with all of you..  re: dreams, I keep having recurring dreams of my Mom and my Aunt...the 2 women who essentially raised me and both are gone now.  When you have this kind of sadness on your mind, I think it's a mental defense mechanism of some sort to dream about them.  Heading into 5 months now since my Mom passed and it feels like yesterday.  People say to "look forward"...sure, I get it, but someone is now missing in my life and it's a big void, no matter how you cut it.

Diana Young-I'm so sorry about your mom.

Natalie, I think your mom calling you in your dream was her way of reaching out to you to let you know that she is okay. I know it was very difficult to wake up and she wasn't there but I truly believe she is still there with you and she was trying to reach out to you. Perhaps it might help, even if just a little bit, if you tried to look at it this way. I know it is very hard as I know I struggle with this as well since my mom died 2 months ago. As difficult as it is, I try to find some positives somewhere. That gives me a little bit of peace.

So sorry to hear that Diana Young. I am thinking of you in this very difficult time.

I am very sorry Diana Young that your Mom passed. Our prayers are with you.

Dear Diana,

My Deepest Condolences.

God Bless,

Mike

I'm so sorry, Diana.

Diana,

I am so sorry for your loss. We all know what you are going through and know how hard it is to deal with it.

I also know how hard it is when people who have not heard offer sympathies. It's like her dying all over again. Sometimes you just want to say "Don't talk to me about this!! I don't want to go through this again!!" But we smile and are polite and say thank you and even help them find comfort. Then go home and cry for hours. Sometimes I think those days after the funeral were worse; going back to work, going out shopping and knowing I didn't have to shop for Christmas gifts for her. She was always so hard to shop for.

I would give anything to have that problem again. I have said before I feel so stupid acting like a child wanting her "Mommy". No one out there thinks I am "special" anymore.

Kimberly and Diana,we all know just how that grown adult "child"feels,we all want our Mommy!It has been just over a month since I lost the most important person in my life,and I hope the cards and notes from her friends,with all the kind words and prayers will stop soon.I know they mean well but,just like you said it just kinda puts you back to the start of the pain and loss.I know that this pain will never go away,I just wonder if I will ever be able to feel anything but,this empty aching,hole in my heart?

My mother passed on June 8... just typing that is really hard. I'm here to find support however I can. Pretty speechless though. Wondering if the surreal/shock/denial phase I'm in now is going to change with a huge slap in the face or if I'm just going to ease out of it slowly? Wondering a LOT of things, but you know. That question came to mind first, for whatever reason.

Hi Rachel Ann I'm so sorry about your mom, what you are going through right now is common. I don't know how long it will last I lost my mom Dec 27,2012 and I believe that I'm past the shock/denial phase. Just know you aren't alone, we are all here for you, to chat or to email. Take care of yourself in this difficult time that is very important.

Very sorry about your Mom, Rachel.  It's very tough in the early weeks, no question.  I know what you are feeling; it's hard to write or say what has happened.  Just take things one day at a time.

Dearest Rachel, it's been two years since my mom died and I miss her more and more every day.  Sometimes I just call out "Mom" so I can hear the word and know that I have a mom somewhere if not here.  I just wait for the day we can be together again.  I am not a believer in Heaven but I do believe there is something after death and that's where I am going because my mom is there.

Rachel, I'm very sorry for your loss. My mom died on April 6, 2013, suddenly and unexpectedly. Everyone's loss is different, but there are many days that still feel the shock and denial, though less and less strongly. A day or so later, the shock wears off, and those days can be really hard. So, for me, overcoming the shock and denial is a slow process that often feels like a slap in the face. Being able to come here and connect with others who are at various stages of grief, even if it's just reading comments, has been very helpful. I hope you find comfort here, too.

After 5 months, I find myself mostly in a state of insensibility. I dont cry everyday now.  Maybe it's my body's way to preserve itself. It's like I'm not in touch with my emotions most of the time. Tears are only triggered when someone talks to me about Mom, or I suddenly remember something we used to do, or something about the way she was.

Ann, I also call out the word ''Mom'' sometimes, I try to imagine how I said it calling her when she was here. But now she can't answer and I can't say that word as I used to.

Dear Friends:

I am so sorry about your loss. After a year of losing my Mom I still miss her deeply. I do not comment this except with 1 very good friend who adored her grandmother, lived with her, and misses her to this day.

Today I was lighting a candle (I am a spiritual Catholic with deep respect for other religions) to Christ of the Divine Mercy. My Mom was/is devouted to Him. I have a photo of my Mom next to Him. I asked for to be forgiven for an extraordinary Mother was given to me, and now I do not know how to live without her. I asked my Mom to forgive me for I am not as strong as she (my Mom lost her own mother when she was 11 months old, was raised by her cousin and wife who were very poor. Yet, manage to become a lawyer, and a judge while being spirital and kind). How does anyone follow this? The moment I finished saying to be forgiven, it started to rain. I know they were listening.

I must do all I can to carry the cross of losing my Mother. It was a sign from God.

I wish everyone in this blesses group to band together and give each other the strength we lack.

"The greater the love, the greater the loss"