Hugs to everyoen specially Julie. I felt so moved by reading your comment and wanted to tell you that i am thinknig of you and identify with you feeling lost without your mum. the past month has been the hardest for me and i just don't seem to see the light at the end of this sadness tunnel. My mum died very suddenly in  front of us in September 2012 and i think it has just started to hit me that she is really gone and never coming back. I still cry almost every day and feel like i can't breath due to the sadness. Love Sim xx

Thank you Lisa Segovia and Dr S Gh for those words of encouragement. :)

Dear Dr Sim,

My condolences.

My mother also passed in sept. of 2012.

I have the same feeling you do.

God Bless.

Mike

missing my mom today -usually i would call her and wish her happy easter but not today or ever.

i never knew my heart could feel this heavy, it hurts like hell

Thank you Michael. Julie, Sandy and everyone else. Wrmm hugs, it means so much to read your words and know i'm not alone. We're not alone and have each other to talk to. I feel only others who have lost their mums can empathize.

Love xx

Positive thoughts to everyone....today was challenging for many of you, I am sure.  This was my very first holiday w/out my Mom...it felt very strange not to have her there. Went out to brunch, which was also atypical.  Nice not to cook, but god knows if Mom were still here I gladly would've prepared the holiday meal.  Miss you mom.

Thinking of all of you today.....this is the first Easter without my mom.  Since my kids were babies she would always fill their plastic eggs for our egg hunt.  Last year she immediately filled them with $1 bills.  We had our "last egg hunt" today with nanny's eggs.  Actually, we buried her with an egg from each child to "keep our tradition with her in heaven".  I took a picture of my kids holding a picture of mom and their baskets.  Though she wasn't physically here, she was with us through her final Easter gift to the kids.  I used her china this year, her serving pieces and her hand mixer, which made me feel a part of her was with us.

Julia,I am so sorry.  I lost my dad when I was 19 and he was 62 and my mom October 2012.  No matter how old you are, the idea of suddenly being an orphan is shocking.  You expect your parents to always be there.   You grieve as you need to, do what feels right to you.  Know that there are people here that understand what you are feeling.  With time, you will feel stronger but will have some bad days.

Take care of yourself.

Yes Cindy, the "orphan feeling" is really hard to shake...I'm a 45 yr old orphan!  I lost my Dad when I was young, so Mom was all I had for all these years.  I got spoiled...in truth, she was my Mom longer than she was a wife to her husband (only 26yrs).  the feeling of loss was quite different when I was an 8yr old losing his dad vs. a 45yr old saying goodbye to his Mom.  Both devastating, but very different.  In a few weeks time I'll visit them both at the cemetary for the very first time...together again at last. 

Yesterday, was Easter and today is 6 months since my mom passed away. There is an aching hole in my chest. It hurt to go past the cards in the store and not stop and look for that 'special' one for her this year.

Happy Birthday Mom

Jeff and Helder, so sorry we all have to share something so similar with both parents.  Jeff, 8 years old, so young to loose your dad.  Though it is not the same as being 8, I know my husband and his family longer than I knew my dad.   8 is so young, you know what happened but have no idea how to handle it.  Going to the cemetery for the first time and seeing both will be hard, I will be thinking of you.  My parents

headstone says "Together Forever" and that does bring me some form of comfort me when I go. 

Shawna, so sorry you felt so sad.  Sometimes that is what you need, to let it all out whenever you feel.  Don't laugh, my "kids" are 20 and 17 and they would only do the egg hunt because of my mother.  But this year, knowing it was the last time really hit them.

Karen, 6 months for me will be April 16 and I understand the hole in your chest and heart.  I, as well as all of us I am sure, am dreading Mother's Day.  I told my husband he gets the card for his mom this year and I want to be away for the weekend for mother's day.  My son will be studying for finals but said he will try to meet us so I will have both my kids together for Mother's Dayl.

Beautiful picture Michael.

Thank you Cindy.

Dr S Gh,

Thank you for your kind words too.  I lost my mom suddenly, unexpectedly as well.  I wish there was something we could do to ease this unbearable pain.  I pray for us all everyday.  God bless.

Hello everyone, this is my first time sharing my story here. I lost my mom suddenly on February 25, 2013 at the age of 67. I always go back to that moment when I was holding her and she stopped breathing. I turn 30 in a few months and even though I still have my father and brother, somehow I feel like I'm an orphan. I try to be strong especially for my dad because I know he misses her terribly. I miss my mom every second of my life. I feel like a lot of people in my life do not understand how I feel. I cry everyday. The emptiness is unbearable. I feel lost without my mom.

My condolences Argene....losses like that are tough on a family, I know from my own experiences.  I am sure you will rally together to support each other.  I was with both of my Aunts when they passed and always had mixed feelings about those experiences, whereas I was not able to be with my Mom when she went and that really bothered me.  No easy answers on this stuff.

I was abused by my father, luckily he left and my mother picked up the pieces and moved forward.  She had to make up for all the hurt we both endured and she did.  I really don't know how I can keep going on without her.  It's been two years and I just feel like I am just waiting to join her.  Going forward now would be leaving her behind and I can't do that.

Argene,  I am so deeply sorry that you had to lose your mom at so young an age.  I lost my mom a month ago in a car accident, but I had her for 56 years.  Not having her is exactly as you said, you feel like an orphan.  It isn't any easier at my age, but I too am the one being strong for my dad and brothers and their kids.  Our worlds have stopped and everyone else's is the same. I too feel the heaviness in my heart and emptiness in my soul every minute of every day, all the while people are expecting you to be the same or deal with it in some magical way, and there is none.  I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers - "God give us the strength to bear this loss."

I have lost both parents in the last 2 years.  I understand feeling like an orphan.  I have lost part of my identity with losing my parents. Saturday I colored easter eggs just like I have done for decades with my mom. I had to carry on the tradition. I cried...and cried.  Sunday, I cried again when someone said something, it triggered a raw nerve.  I cried and cried.  I was the only one crying in my family.  Do my sisters not feel what I am feeling?  I just felt so stupid then. The only ones who tried to comfort me were my 10 year old great nephew and my niece who is like my little sister (5 year age difference).  It just makes my 'hurt' so much deeper. 

Thought I would finally handle a phone call from a collection agency about mom's hospital bill.  Started this morning and need a break.  The collection agency is saying one thing, the hospital is saying to ignore the collection agency because they are handling it.  Still trying to get a hold of Medicare. UnitedHealthcare/ AARP is ignoring the hospitals inquiries.  Need to just vent before I have a glass of wine and try again.  Glad I have nothing better to do on my spring break!  Mom would be so angry about this.  All over a $1,000. bill, which I would gladly pay if someone could prove to me we actually owe this money!!!

The joys of our medical system!  it should not be this hard.  Truly, a collection agency should only be involved if the hospital discharged the bill to them to handle.  You can ignore them, they have no real authority.

Eh, I'm just having a real bad day today, not sure why.  I went to AM mass yesterday, which was for my Mom and other deceased members of the parish....guess it just made me dwell on things more than usual.  And, I'm sick w/what is either a cold or an allergy attack, so I am doubly miserable.   I really wish I didn't feel this way; just want to curl up and sleep.

Thanks Jeff....

Sorry you are having a bad day.  Hearing your mom's name mentioned during Mass does bring emotion.  You begin to think again.  Feel better and get some rest, that's what your mom would want you to do.

Cancer is rough....my Aunt passed away many years ago at 70yrs old after a valiant struggle.  The entire family was emotionally spent.  Everyone gets drawn into the battle, in one way or another.  And, when it is lost, you all feel it.

My condolences to you both.

Anne, I feel the same way about moving on. My mother has been gone for eight months and I am becoming sadder the further I move away from the date she passed. Some days I feel guilty about doing normal things or having fun with my family. I understand.

Sundays are even more depressing than other days. It's so sad to think about how different life is now without Mom. It was a different world and a different me. I miss her so much, the small things we did together. How our lives were intertwined.

Now it feels like the world has lost its order, the point of going on isn't very clear.  I wonder why did things have to happen the way they did. Why couldn't we have a few more years together?

the weekends are the worst for me as well, since those were the days I did all my "Mom" stuff.  Now, it's an empty vacuum.  This weekend was spent cleaning out her house with more to come.  I think I feel worse now than when she passed.  I keep telling myself she's at peace and she is no longer suffering and struggling.  But, I think I'm sad for me, selfishly.  I miss her terribly.

Hi everyone.  It has been a while since I have been on here. It was about this time last year that I found this group and it has been a great help to me.  I lost my mom March 22, 2012 to brain cancer.  I honestly never thought I could get through the loss of her and the overbearing grief that I felt.  Everyone kept saying it would get better, but I just did not see that happening.  It has gotten easier.  I miss her dearly, but as she always told me..life goes on for the living.  I have been feeling her presence more lately and my husband said he was working at her house and he saw her watching him out the back door like she always used to do.  I feel her near me and hear her singing in my ear all the time.  We used to sing I love you a bushel and a peck or You are my sunshine.  Good Friday, a very dear family friend who always took mom to mass said she heard mom singing next to her at Good Friday mass.  I just wanted to let those of you who have just recently experienced loss that it will get easier-when, I can't say-it is an individual thing.  It's ok to go on with your life, to have fun with family and friends, to go a day without crying.  No need to feel guilt over those things-she was your mom-she'd want her child to be happy.  Peace to all and God Bless each of you.

Thanks for that Eliza.  I'm feeling lousy after this weekend and keep thinking, "is this normal"?  But, I guess it is.  Every time I think I'm over the loss, I quickly realize I am not. And suppressing it has been utterly pointless.   It's really going to take some time, I am finally realizing. 

Oh goodness Jeff R, I just saw where you just lost your mom in February and by all means you are just in the initial stages of grief.  It is probably just now all starting to sink in. Suppressing it doesn't help you are anyone else around you. I had grief attacks like in Eliza's list and they were at their peak at the 8th month mark and I still cry from time to time at nite or when I miss her most.  I also laugh sometimes-just last nite was coming out of the bathroom and lost my balance and ended up with my face right in my moms picture hanging on the wall.  I laughed, kissed the picture, and said, once again mom-catching me when I fall!  Take some time Jeff R and don't beat yourself up-grief is a process!

Thank you for posting that Eliza.  This is something I need to print out and read from time to time. 

Sundays are hard, those are the days that if I didn't go to see her we would talk on the phone.  Yesterday morning I thought 'oh I get to talk to mom today'...then the grief hit. 

I miss my mom still, but its getting easier.....I saw a pic of her last night and it was actually sweet.....she was doing some crafts....I miss you mom...love you, im not wallowing in it

Thanks Eliza.  I think everyone assumes because Mom was older and had health issues that it should be less traumatic somehow, or at least more easily accepted. Given the circumstances, while I certainly understand her passing, it's still hard to accept (if that makes any sense). I wish she was still here, even for a little while longer.  Her mind was sharp, even if her body was failing.  Her abrupt passing was likely a kindness to her, but painful to me since I did not expect it.  But, this happens all the time..."such is life" , Mom would say.

Yesterday it was 12 weeks since my Mom passed. It seems like a lot of time and then it's just 3 months. I'm really lost without her. She was my home and my heart. She still is in a way, but I feel like I'm ages away from her.

My condolences to everyone.  I can relate to a little of what everyone is going through.  it has been 6 months since my mom passed away.  still very very sad and I miss her so much.

Yes, Mother's Day is coming and I'll likely plant some nice geraniums at Mom's grave; she really liked those.  I had to stop for a greeting card last night and I totally avoided the Mothers Day cards...I couldn't bear it.  Not to mention her birthday is in May too.  It's all very hard to deal with right now.

We can still celebrate our moms.

God bless everyone.

I don't go anywhere near the greeting card aisles in stores. I have a two young children and I have no desire to celebrate mother's day. I do not live close to my mom's resting place, so I can't visit her grave. I will probably just stay in bed that day. I miss my mom soooo much! What I wouldn't give just to have a conversation with her. It's been eight months and I still remember very clearly my last day with her. I'm still full of tears!

I am wishing I could just go to sleep and wake up in June because I cannot take all of the Mother's Day emails, advertisements, cards, etc. etc. It's not that I don't want to celebrate my mom - I love her and I celebrate her every day. But, It just makes me so depressed knowing that she is not here to share the day with and I am bitter towards those people who have their moms.  My mom's birthday is also in May. We do a party each year on/around her birthday as a celebration of life. It brings me and my family a lot of joy to do that.

The worst part of Mother's Day is that the friends don't really call anymore. The first year I got a lot of calls and emails on that day. But, then the following year - one person reached out to me. ONE! This will be the third year and I am sure the same one person will reach out, but none of my other friends will.

My mom always thought of me, even when she was dying.  Cremation is against our religion but my mom wanted to be cremated so I could keep her ashes at home with me.  Now I can buy her flowers every week and hold her ashes when I miss her so terribly my heart aches.  When I die, we will be placed together for eternity.  It's comforting having her here with me.  Mom, you are always looking out for me.  I love you beyond words can say.