I miss my Mom!

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If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Toyanne

My mom just passed away tommorrow on mothers day will be a month she had a heart attack. I'm having a very hard time dealing with her passing

May 8, 2010
Kirstine Rushing

I am so sorry Toyanne. It has almost been 4 months for me and sadly I can't say things are any easier. I don't know if they ever will be. Hopefully I will just be able to cope better. Hugs to you!

May 8, 2010
Kirstine Rushing

I wrote my mom a poem for Mother's Day and wanted to share ith with you all as I am sure you all are feeling the same. May God comfort us all tmw.

My heat aches for you today

I wish things hadn’t turned out this way

You were the light of my life

You held me and comforted me through all of life’s strifes

When I was sick you took such good care of me

For you, there just was no other way to be

A warm hug from you

And I felt like new

Today is oh so blue

And its all because of how much I miss you

I am so proud you are my mother

You are just like no other

I know I’ll see you again soon

And I’ll be over the moon

Until then I’ll hold you in my heart

So we don’t ever have to truly part.

Tomorrow will come and go

But my love for you will continue to grow.

In a blink of an eye,

We will both let out a huge sigh.

Together again!

I love you Mom!

Happy Mother’s Day!

May 8, 2010
Dana LaPaglia

Kristine, Your Poem is Beautiful and so uplifting thanks for sharing, I miss my Mom so much that I cant even explain but Im sure Your can relate. I get up every morning waiting for Her to come in my room and tell me that Her and my Dad are going to the store they will be back shortly her exact words! then she would ask if I needed them to pick up anything? wow you just do not realize really how powerful such little things can be! just a saying can stick with You forever. And Memories that is all I have left. God Bless, Dana.

May 10, 2010
Paige Anne Lovelace

Hi my name is Paige! I lost my mom almost 10 years ago on June 28th,2000 from Ovarian cancer. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her and want her here. I wonder what it would be like to have one last hug with her or one last conversation with her. I can't believe in a week and a half it will have been 10 years! I love you mom and miss you so much it is killing me.

Jun 17, 2010
Kirstine Rushing

The last hug and conversation is what I long for to, but then after it happened, I would want another one. I could never have enough time with her. She was my best friend and just meant everything to me. Like you, my heart hurts beyond belief everyday grieving for her. I just so badly need her back in my life. I am having a baby and so badly wish we could go shopping together. She always had the best advice and I can just see us giggling walking around Babies R Us together. I can still smell her sweet smell too. Nothing like having your mom in your life, that's for sure. She was my rock!

Jun 17, 2010
Michelle Batacan Alexander

I am 53 years old. I am a mother, a soon to be grandmother. Thank God those parts of my heart don't hurt. It is the daughter in me that is sorrowful. The sister in me that shares the hurt. Our mom, Rose, died on June 8, 2010 around 12:10pm quietly in her sleep. I was at work. I had been at her side all evening. We prayed together, we listened to music together. I gave her hugs and kisses and told her that we all loved her very much. I rushed home from work. Mom had passed, and the room was still filled with her warmth and her generous heart. I held her hand, stroked her temple tenderly and whispered we love you. It's ok I kept saying. Mom was gone.
She was a doctor, a teacher, a mother, a grandmother. She was 89 and would be 90 in October. The photo was taken May 25, 2010. She battled Parkinsons, Severe Osteoporosis and finally Breast Cancer.
I am so fortunate to have had a most wonderful, tender, caring, loving mother. I am also so fortunate to have had the gift of being near her and seeing her everyday, taking care of her and giving back to her the love she gave us all these years.
When I feel the sadness and tears well up inside of me, and I let them flow, I know that it is the testimony that there is a very real and
well loved part of my heart that will never be the same again. I miss my mom. always.

Jun 24, 2010
DINESE DAM

My mom died March 25, 2010. I miss her so much. At first itr was just to hard to even feel like she was done. It didn't feel like it. Now that sister is about to pass any day now, I am really feeling the loss of my mother.

Jun 26, 2010
sharon

I miss mu Mom too. my mom was a funny loving woman and she loved everyone thats how she was , on Novemeber 1st she called and had a hard time breathing and refused to go to the Hospital. the same night she told me I LOVE YOU ! thats something i will rememeber and have by my heart for ever . and the next day she went to the hopsital and she was in a coma and so helpless watching her lay there thinking it should had been me not her,
5 mins later she passed on I guess we are always likey to have a mother but she will be missed . I been haveing a difficult time still after 8 mos and i am a parent to 2 great children and everything i had trouble i called her for Advise . i am starting to relize that i can not do that no more,
As my Sister and i went to church for the frist time ( Mom's Church )
and it felt funny with out her there but i looked for her but knowing she is where she belongs and she was with us in sprit.
I still Miss her dearly and think of her always.

Jun 29, 2010
Crystal B

My mom passed away from complications of cancer and lupus on June 28, 2010. I feel so lost. My mom was my best friend and I just can't believe she won't be around anymore. I talked to her on the phone almost every day. What do I do now? My 2 year old won't even remember what a wonderful grammy she had. My mom loved her SO much and was so excited to have a grandchild close. I just want to understand why my mom was taken from me. She was only 55. It's not fair. I want to know she is in Heaven and happy and in no more pain. My mom suffered a lot on this earth. I don't get how such a kind, wonderful, caring person would have to suffer so much. It's just not fair.

Jul 6, 2010
Laura Marshall

My sisters and I lost our mother 2 weeks ago. I never could of imagined the pain and actually hurt her dying has caused us. There are times when I think that my tears will not stop. We didn't even know she was so sick. She has been losing weight for over a year, but her doctor said she would monitor it. 3 weeks ago, she was feeling under the weather. My sister took her to see another doctor who ran test and 4 days later we were told she had cancer on liver. There were 4 tumors... that was Tuesday, she was ok, talking and being herself. By Thursday she was in ICU and in and out of a coma. We took her home on Saturday with Hospice. They said she would never make it through the night. She made it until Tuesday morning at 4am, when she left us. I miss her every second of every day. She was both our mother and father. She helped me raise my 2 beautiful children, who miss her beyond words. Will I ever be able to make it through one day?

Jul 7, 2010
Dana LaPaglia

Laura I wish I had the words to help you! but I dont my Mom died 3+6+09 my Dad 4+19+09 and I still miss them, this site helps its the only place that I can talk about all my feelings, my Mom was is my best friend everyday is a struggle knowing they are in Heaven gets me through. my Prayers are with you.Dana.

Jul 7, 2010
Eve Gerlando

I am Laura Marshall's older sister and I am the one who took care of our mom. She was my rock, my lifeline and now she is gone due to the incompetency of her primary care dr. I just received all of our mom's medical records and this dr didn't do her job and has cost us to lose our mom. She was my best friend. I dedicated my entire life to taking care of her and I feel like I failed her. Every thought I consume is of her. I can't even explain how much I miss her. The tears flow continuously and I can't apologize enough to my sisters. My mom was a strong Italian woman who no one told her what to do. Finally, 3 weeks ago I was able to convince her to go to my dr. who took the time and within one business day was able to diagnose her but it was too late. I don't know how I am going to go on without her. I am also disabled and can't work but I swear I am dedicating the rest of my life to make sure no one else has to go through this. This morning I heard my mom call my name and I sat straight up only to cry more because she is not here. I miss and love you mom!!!

Jul 8, 2010
Sue Lavery

I miss my Mom so much. I was her caregiver even though she was in a nursing home. I was there every day but went away on a holiday and she passed and my sisters had her funeral without me. I did okay while I was away but I'm finding more and more I get very teary eyed just because. i really miss my Mom but my family really have moved on. Just like she said they were there for the money. She always said she felt they were waiting for her to die to get her money. I just wish I could tell her once more how much I love her

Jul 9, 2010
Sue Lavery

Eve I too feel like I'm to blame. I was there everyday and fighting every day and I was getting tired of fighting but my family wouldn't help me fight. My Mom too was my rock and she was such a special person that even people who only knew her a little said that she had something about her that drew them too her. If I could only be half the person she was I would be happy.

Jul 9, 2010
April Hensley

It will be two months on the 19th since my mom left. She became ill suddenly in February, two weeks after my grandmother died. I miss both of them so much, every day. The tears come in waves. Some days I don't feel anything, other days I can't stop crying. My brother seems to have moved on, and my sister is doing ok, but I quit my job because I couldn't handle working with the public in a service atmosphere, seeing her everywhere I looked, every customer was my mom. Then there's the muzak cd playing in the background, all very innocuous, except all the songs reminded me of her-they were some of her favorites, some made me think of her, and some were just plain sad. I spent more time in the bathroom crying then I did on the sales floor and my concentration level is zip. I used to read 3 books a week. Now I'm lucky if I finish one in 3 weeks. I miss her so much, there is no one for me to talk to like I could talk to my mom. I still haven't deleted her cell phone number from my phone. I just want to talk to her one last time...

Jul 16, 2010
Dana LaPaglia

April hi my name is Dana, it has been 16 months since my mom died and 15 since my Dad. I still have those Days everyday I cry and when I go to bed I cry, so no there is nothing wrong with You. We all grieve in our own ways and on our own time! I still have my Moms message on my cell phone and I have no plans on ever deleting it! their room is still the same I have not cleaned it out my Husband has been great he said when ever Im ready who knows when that will be. And You do have someone to talk to You just do not know me but I am here! my Dad died on the 19th and was born on the 19th. I will keep You in my prayers. Dana.

Jul 18, 2010
April Hensley

Thanks, Dana. I'm so sorry for your loss, I know that people say that all the time, but I seem to have developed a really thin skin and a lot of empathy towards others since my mom passed. So I really do mean it. No one knows what that loss feels like unless they have experienced it, so it makes me angry when people who haven't lost anyone they love, especially their mom, say it to me. I was cleaning up my voicemail box yesterday and there was a message from her from November on there. She sounded so healthy, so alive, that it's hard for me to believe she is gone.

Jul 21, 2010
Dana LaPaglia

Hi April I know when I here my Moms message I still can not believe shes gone either! Her message makes me laugh because my Mom just did not quite understand electronics and how they work so when she talked on the answering machine I think she thought she was actually talking to me and waiting for an answer from me, so silly but I love Her so much and miss Her deeply! Daddy too.

Jul 21, 2010
Dana LaPaglia

April if you would like to talk one on one my email is maxi113@live.com maybe we can help each other in some way big or little it does not matter, just that we try. Dana.

Jul 21, 2010
Tania Isaacs

Hi April, my mom passed away on Feb.12 2010. People tell me that the pain will begin to ease with time, so far thats not the case. I am still as raw as I was in Feb. Its not helping that moms birthday is coming up on Aug 4. I cry a lot. My soul literally hurts and I am doing the best I can with losing her but it is hell. I understand your pain and am sorry for it. No one should have to hurt like this. I will pray for you. Hang in there, you're not alone.

Jul 22, 2010
Crystal B

My mom's birthday was July 18th.. just a few weeks after she passed. That was so hard.. makes me not want to celebrate any holidays anymore.. but I can't do that to my baby daughter.. ugh this sucks.

Jul 26, 2010
Tania Isaacs

My Mom;'s birthday is coming up.. Aug. 4. Its going to be a difficult day, but like Crystal said, I have to be strong for my 5 year old son who misses his "Nant" very much. My mother passed awau on Feb 12 2010 and Valentines Day will never be the same for me, its just to close to the most painful day of my life. This does suck!

Aug 2, 2010
sistershirley

Hi everyone, I just wanted to say that the pain will pass and turn into something beautiful in time. When my mother passed away suddenly and at a young age, I didn't want to let go of the pain because it meant accepting that she was gone. I didn't want to hear that it would get better in time because I didn't want to live in a world that was "okay" without her. Still, time does transform the pain into a veil of love and acceptance. On important dates, such as her birthday, day that she passed, and mother's day, it helped me to do something to commemorate her - I'd write a note on a balloon to her and send it up. Or go to the beach where I'd think of her - or take a walk alone through the woods and imagine she was walking with me. God bless!

Aug 2, 2010
April Hensley

Thank you, Tania, it sure is nice hearing that you aren't crazy, that you aren't the only one feeling the way you do. I love my husband, but he has yet to feel the loss of a parent, let alone his mother. I try to talk to him about the stuff I'm feeling, but he really doesn't get where I'm coming from. If I could keep this pain from him, I would, but I know that it's inevitable. On the subject of birthdays, so far my niece and my sister have been the only two to have to deal. My brother's and mine, as well as my nephew, are all in September. I told my sister since it was my 39th birthday I just wasn't going to have one. I'll just stay 38, thank you very much! But then I realized that I am having enough difficulty living in the now. Moving forward is the biggest hurdle for me. I like what SisterShirley said. It is the absolute truth that if I let go of the pain I have to accept her being gone. I'm just not ready to do that yet. Sometimes I feel like I may never be ready...but it's only been three months since she died, so I may just give myself some slack and do this as I need to--one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

Aug 17, 2010
Dana LaPaglia

Hi April, I guess u are back from visiting your Sister? cant wait to hear how it went. And there is no time frame on missing someone my Mom has been gone for 17 months &10 days! but i miss her Her as much today as the day She died! so u just Grieve its ok there is no time limit. Dana

Aug 17, 2010
Julie Dolsey-Weiss

On August 17, 2010 was the one year anniversay of losing my mom. I am still devasted by her death. She was my cheerleader, best friend and always, always there for me and now when something happens my first thought is I should call mom and then it dawns on me yet again she is gone from my eyes forever. Yes I believe in God! I only know what I can see here. I lost my sweet dad in 2005 that broke my heart but losing them both so soon...heartbreaking.

Aug 19, 2010
Dana LaPaglia

Hi Julie, I know how you feel and the emotions that you are going through! I miss my Mom everyday and it has been 17 months for my Mom and 16 months for my Dad. Mom was my best friend and always will be! the only thing that gives me comfort is knowing that she is watching over me. I know that your Mom is watching over you as well, just believe. Dana.

Aug 19, 2010
shelley hughes

hi my name is shelley I lost my mother on the first of August 2010 three days after we buried my father.Dad got diagnosed with cancer and we nursed him at home until his death. Little did we know a week after we lost him we would loose mum. My mother was my world my being a beautiful lady who I was lucky to be with every day of my life and that is why it hurts so much.I think in life you can be too close to some people and that is the problem i face now the emptiness and sadness my heart aches and my body is so heavy how do you go on. It feels like you are so alone

Aug 20, 2010
April Hensley

Shelley, I am so sorry for the loss of both your parents. So close to each other, I can't even imagine how hard that must be. I lost my mom three months ago yesterday. You are right, your body feels weighted by all that grief and it is so hard to put one foot in front of the other, to make your mind focus on one thing, but the pain gets lighter. I know you will get through this. Rely on other family members if you can, lean on your friends, believe me, they don't have any clue how to comfort you unless you tell them what you need. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. April

Aug 20, 2010
dawn

My mom was killed by her neighnor who was stalking her for 5 yrs. She was shot in her driveway july , 7th. I can't breathe. He killed her after she put a restaining order on him, he used to follow her everywhere. He killed himself too. I don't know how to live without her, plus I found out I was pregnant one week after her death. I cannot find the strength to be happy about anything.

Oct 10, 2010
Bailey Eginoire

I lost my mom September 26, 2010. I didn't live at home at the time, and had made a spur of the moment decision to stay with my parents that night because I had been in the neighborhood out with some friends. I came home, went up to the guest bedroom (my mom had been sleeping in my room because she loved my bed) and threw my stuff in there and took a quick shower. My phone was dead so I went into my parents' bedroom and asked my dad if his phone charger was upstairs. He told me no so I went downstairs and checked his charger in the living room. Too big for my phone. So I went into my room where my mom was sleeping to check her charger. I laughed when I walked in because she was face planted into a pillow in front of her. She had fallen asleep in the past in funny positions so this struck me as no different. I checked her charger, too big for my phone, and then decided to lay my mom down. I lifted her up and she had uneaten food under her stomach. When I laid her on her back she didn't respond at all. I checked her pulse, didn't feel anything, and then turned on the lamp and saw that her color was off and she felt cold. I ran upstairs telling my dad I thought that mom was dead and he came down....

I knew my mom was gone the minute I turned on the lamp to look at her. My dad didn't accept it until the paramedics showed him the flat line of her heart that was no longer beating.

I don't like going back to that night. I miss my mom. I miss her laugh, her smile, her personality... did she annoy me? Yes. She is my mom. But her love was so passionate and overwhelming... I hate living this life without her. My dad is broken. My brother is broken. And I feel like getting out of bed in the morning is the hardest thing to accomplish.

Oct 13, 2010
Bruce Bagley

I lost my mother about 10 months ago, after having cared for her for the previous 3(+) years...There are nights, like tonight, when the grief is so strong, I feel like my whole body could just burst...

Oct 22, 2010
Karon B. Porter

Hello group, I am totally new to this...My story ....I am 33 years of age from The Bronx. I have that average story with weight loss that everyone seems to have. However, what makes mines a little different from the rest is when I lost my mother at age 29. During this time, it was really hard for my family and me to understand the reason or reasons why she was chosen. She left this Earth at age 48 (That is a very young age) of a silent killer called heart disease. Something I knew could have prevented this from happening was being active. From that moment it was more of life change decision for me.

I don't ever want anyone to ever go through what I did that day... I am willing to help anyone that wants to talk or just to vent... I know this may sound like spam, but I want to let everyone know what has help me cope with my loss.... Maybe it will help you as well...I am beach body coach, the creators of in home fitness programs like P90x, Insanity, and turboFire, just to mention a few. Taking care of myself has been my main priority.... Please let me know if I can assist you as well... we are in this together, I love that there is support out there to help us.

Oct 26, 2010
Tina Miller

my mom was killled on 7th of oct 2010 she was crossing the the road in her motrized chair and was hit by an 33yr old woman who till now just says she didnt see mo and the officers didnt charge the girl , they said cause mom crossed 75 feet away from the cross walk , but i have proof she couldnt cross there for the medium in the cross walk her chair couldnt get over ,mom was hit and then ran over her pelvic area and then knocked or drug for 80 feet there were no brakes applied no skid marks even the officers said that . there isnt any closer till i know what happened that day , why this girl didnt see or try to stop . mom the bottom of moms chair is what finlly stopped her. i won't have any closer till i know what happened that day are people are held accountable is that wrong?

Nov 7, 2010
steacy del valle

helloive never done this but here goes. i miss my mom so much she recently died going on 6 months ago and the pain only seems to get stonger. i have a son he is 1 and its now that i understand the love of a parent and it just make the pain of losing her even greater. she use to always tell me she wouldnt be around for ever but i didnt believer even though u know everyone dies you just dont believe it will haven to the person thats the closes to you. she was murdered by her ex she was shot 4 times and he shot himself. i still have so much emotions inside i just dont even know which emotion is the strongest. sadnesss, hopeless, vanerable, angry, or just depressed.

Nov 11, 2010
steacy del valle

and you know whats the worst part it was the friday after my first mothers day and 11 days before my 21 birthday and she was cremated the day of my birthday

Nov 11, 2010
Tina Miller

I do have a big hole in my heart I feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest.Karen got it right we did share a body once and hearts evrryday form the time i was conceived, I just feel so lost without her .she was Mama,my best friend ,my first friend whom i shared everything with and she did as well.i could talk to her about anything and i don't have this with another human , now i must take it all to God, but like the little girl to her mama whom kept searching for the monster her daughter insisted was under her bed i know that God is with me ,But sometimes we need somebody with some skin. sometimes i can close my eyes and feel her cheek on mine when i would hug her ,,my lips on her cheeks and hands ,and smell her she always smelled so good ! yeah a Big Hole !! thnk you all for listening and commenting you don;t know how much you all help me day to day hugs !!

Nov 14, 2010
Christine Seed

I just lost my mom two weeks ago to pancreatic cancer. She only lived for 6 weeks after her diagnosis. The whole thing happened so quickly that I think I am still in a state of shock. I feel so intensely sad and I already miss her so much. My dad is a mess and I don't know how to support him because I feel like I need support myself. I also have a 5 month old baby, so my time and attention needs to be devoted to him - but I'm so sad that I can't seem to pull it together and be a good mom right now. Thank God for my supportive husband, I would be lost without him. When will I feel better?

Nov 15, 2010
DINESE DAM

I'm so sorry for your loss. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU ARE FEELING. In March of 2006, I lost my Dad and both my grandparents. They were like a week apart. Then in March of this year ( 2010 ) I lost my best friend. A week later I loss my mother. Then in July of this year, I lost my closest sister, who I took care of for 4 years. As you can see, I've been socked in the stomach. On Thanksgiving, my family and I are gonna celebrate it ( Thanksgiving ) in my parents house, for one last time,. The way I have been trying to get through grieving process, is going to grief support groups. To be around people who are going through the same thing, is such a help. Let your baby, a gift from God, help you too. Put all your time into him. God blessed you with a child for a reason. I also do scrap books or memorial books of the people I've lost in my life. Do some journaling. That can be your best friend because in that you can say everything you feel. There's no reason to hold back with that.
Try to have a nice Thanksgiving. Make it special for your father. Be there for him. Make sure he doesn't need something. Let his grandson help him too. Plan outings with him. Take him to a support group with you.
Hope it all works out for you. Give it a try. Have a blessed Thanksgiving and Christmas. Your more than welcome to send me mail to my email address which is Dinesedam@yahoo.com hope to hear from you soon.

Nov 15, 2010
Karon B. Porter

I am happy that we all are able to express our feeling here... it has been a tough time for all of us...I know my mom (our mothers) are happy with the way we all turned out... Now my concern is all of you.... hope we all are taking care of ourselves. Taking care of myself has been my main priority.... Please let me know if I can assist you as well... we are in this together, I love that there is support out there to help us. Those who are interested in starting to take care of themselves via fitness and health, please visted my beachbody site...I am coach now only to help people not experience what my mom pass from...heart disease.. www.teambeachbody.com/karonbporter

Nov 16, 2010
Tina Miller

yesterday was Mama's birthday ,and it was the longest day! without her it also my Dad's birthday , i couldn't be happy for him for missing Mama
and i feel guilty for that , cause Daddy is 70 now and his health is worsening, and i don't have a way to get to him to spend time with him .

Dec 2, 2010
Jalysa Reyes

My mothers birthday was in November and I tried my best to get over to her grave to give her flowers, but there was so much school work and then I had work... It seems like a very simple thing to do but for some reason finding time to drive 3 hours to give my mother flowers is one of the most difficult of tasks. But then again I think I'm afraid. My grandmother believes that by making the trip to see my mother that I would be reopening an old wound. But you can't reopen a wound that you never healed from to begin with, right? I miss my mother every single day. And the worst part is that I keep trying to build this support team of people that will understand me and love me just as she did. But it is not working. I use to have a support team in HS, but when I went to college they all went and did their own thing. The absence of my mother has affected my relationships to some degree. I keep trying to find that unconditional love in my dating life but it doesn't seem to work that way... I don't know. It is all so hard to figure out. I wish someone gave me a manuel so I would have had time to prepare for all of this.

Dec 10, 2010
steacy del valle

hey jalysa i know how yo feel more than you think my mom passed in may 14, 2010 and we had her cremated and she was baried with my grandma in puerto rico and i live in miami on august i went up there for my aunts wedding and i really tried hard to go to her cementary and no one would take me and i was so upset because i cant just go on a plane when ever i felt like it to go visit her so believe me it was hard because that would be the first time i go to her grave since we baried in july and i was really depressed but your mom is around and she knows you havent fogotten her memory and she is glad you tried to make an effort. i dont nessecarily agree with your grandma that is your way to cope because your mom isnt around anymore so you want to be where she is even if it is in body just to feel like your doing your part just to prove to your self and her that you still cherish her memory and you dont ever want to forget about someone that is so special and important in your life its not a wound its closure and healing in a way atleast for me it would be if i can actually go and visit her

Dec 13, 2010
Karon B. Porter

People,

I really hope we are doing well, this past 12/6 marked 4 years without my mom... I know taking care of myself is the best thing she would have wanted for me... So i am asking all of you to take care of yourself, I know it is hard not having our moms here...please read my story people on why I now help people...www.beachbody.com/karonbporter

email if you want to talk @ karonbporter@yahoo.com

Dec 13, 2010
eileen eileen

My name is Eileen and I am new to this site. I am so grateful to have found it last night. I have read many of your stories and am sorry for your losses.

I miss my Mom so much. She died in July 2008 and there is a huge hole

in my heart. The grief is unremitting.

Dec 17, 2010
Tiffany Linhart

Wishing everyone the best during the holidays. Trust me, I know its hard... this year is the 2nd year without my mom, and my first time ever being away from my family. This time of year was my mom's favorite. She loved christmas. I know that my family is suffering without her there, and we are all suffering with me being stuck here in Afghanistan. Try to keep your head up, it will pass, eventually. I was told that the pain would go away with time... I'm still waiting for that day.

Dec 17, 2010
Karon B. Porter

Thank you all for showing your love and support for one another, also thank you all for visiting my site to read my story on why I do what I do with Beachbody... (www.teambeachbody.com/karonbporter) we must take care of ourselves so that we can be here for others...One way I do that is via fitness, I never want anyone to experience the day I lost my mom. Feel free to email me at karonbporter@yahoo.com

Dec 18, 2010
sandy

i have not lost my mother to death, but i am grieving as my brother has put her in a residential village where i cannot get to see her, its is a hole in my heart as i used to visit her every week, do you think it is normal to feel like this , ifeel a great sadness , x

Dec 18, 2010
Marcia Jan McGinnis

This is my first entry on this sight. I have never used an online support group before. My mom died almost three years ago. It feels as if it could have been yesterday. It is not that my life has not gone on, but the hurt continues, and the guilt becoming more evident. I attended Hospice Survivor group after she first passed, but am hesitant to go back because of the time it has been since her death. And quite frankly, my issue continues to be with the Hospice experience. The people who worked with us were wonderful and they nurtured us through the difficult forty-five days we were at the Hospice House. These people became our family. It is the deciding that death is better than life, the decision to stop all food and fluids that still haunts me today. In one of my saddest times last month I actually verbalized, "I feel like I killed my mom." The verbalization even took me back. It was the gut feeling that I have, and seem to continue to struggle with. I did what I felt was right and what she would have wanted, but on the other hand, she would have never wanted to die that way. I have loving support from friends (hers and mine) and family, but this nagging sorrow remains. I miss her terribly, as she was my best friend. Our father died thirty-two years ago so we were all we had. Having shared what I felt with my sister recently, she acknowledged she had similar feelings, but not that we killed her. For the first time I really felt she understood, even though she was there much of the time. We never left my mom's side while she was at the Hospice House. We ate, slept, bathed, just lived in the same room with mom for that forty-five days. The whole very sad time was only six months total with seems short compared to what others have had in years, but the time was intense. I am hoping that someone, somewhere, will understand this experience and maybe be able to give me suppport in healing this area of the death experience. My mom was a strong Christian woman, a woman of faith. I too, rely on my God, and faith is not my issue. I understand the conclusion of her life was His calling. I understand He was in control all the time. I accept His will, I prayed for it daily, sometimes hourly. It was the way she died, and my decisions that led to this kind of death.

Dec 21, 2010