Marcia Jan McGinnis

Female

Modesto, CA

United States

Profile Information:

About Me:

I am 58 year old Christian woman, mother of one daughter, sister, friend to many, and deeply sad . For the most part I keep my grief hidden, at least to those outside my home. My family was made up of such loving people who loved being together, especially at holidays. I deeply want to restore the joy I used to have. I used to be athletic in my younger years, enjoy the out of doors, music, the beach. I am most peaceful at the ocean.

About my Loss:

It was a summer morning when the call came. Mom said she had fallen and hit her head and thought she should be seen by a doctor.She had been giving her patio flowers water before heading to the mall to buy birthday gifts for her granddaughters. I rushed over, to find mom very much together, with an ice pack on her face near her temple. At the hospital we were told that she had a blood clot as a result of the fall. She needed immediate surgery. She asked to be transferred to Stanford University so as to have the best medical help possible, but there was no time, if she was to survive. My mom was a vibrant, fun loving, caring person to many, mom, grandma, and my best friend. How could this happen ? After surgery she was back to new. But within twenty-four hours everything changed. Next came another surgery, ICU, a brief rehab hospital stay, home care and after six months of giving all I had ,finally Hospice. After sitting by her bedside for forty-five days and nights at the Hospice House being told her death would happen any minute, it came, only minutes after I had stepped away from her bed after being awake with her all night. I was the main decision maker throughout the entire ordeal. The guilt is unmanageable. I miss my best friend more than I miss a mother. The pain is so deep. I am an otherwise strong person and have endured tradgey before, but this is completely new territory. This is our third Christmas without her .

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