Online Grief Support - A Social Community
After Death Communication
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Kali Grainger
I really hope so
Oct 3, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
I've found that we kinda know in our heart when they are just dreams and when they are something more than just dreams. I don't think anyone else can really tell us. I think we need to trust our gut.
Oct 6, 2012
Diana
About a few days after my mother passed, I had a dream that she was living in a high rise apartment maybe on the 30 floor. There were glass walls, a long marble counter in the kitchen. I remember picking up some cans off the counter. It felt so real cause in the dream I actually felt the cans in my hand. My mom said that she needed me to go to the store. Here apartment was very cold but come to find out, I woke up with the fan on in my face. Will she come back to me in a dream again?
Oct 9, 2012
Kim Phillips
I just don't know how much more I can take. I lost my grandmother a year ago, my soulmate 5 months ago, my aunt 3 months ago and today I had to put down my cat of 21 years. Plus I just found out I have blockages in my heart. I thought GOD only gave us as much as we can handle well hell.... I can't handle anymore. Something in my life has to change. Hugs and blessings to all.
Oct 9, 2012
Kali Grainger
While giving Ellis her bath tonight she kept looking over her shoulder to the right of me... all that is there is the sink and wall.. I wish I knew if she was seeing her daddy.
Oct 10, 2012
dream moon JO B
Oct 13, 2012
dream moon JO B
i got anotha 1 of thm fotos i took of the sky it looket like a human swiming in the sky
Oct 13, 2012
Sophia
When my uncle died suddenly, years ago when I was just a small child I somehow knew he was watching over me. I had a very high fever just after he died and I had a very vivid dream that he was telling me he was stil around & years later I felt him around me. I haven't thought too much about this but now I realize I had no-one suggesting anything to me - I thought/felt this on my own from 5yrs old. Now, my 22yr old son died 11/13/11 and I have felt him but I'v been resisting thinking too much about it just because I feel I might be 'losing it'. It has been so incredably hard to lose Jimmy &, as most of you know, people don't understand unless they've experienced the loss of a child. I have lost my uncle/Godfather who was very protective of me when he was alive. I lost my best friend from High School. She was murdered by her husband in 1996. My Grandmother who was very much like a mother to me in 1997. I'v lost 4 other friends through the years. All have been very, very difficult to endure. Losing my first born son has just completly rocked me to the very core! I have felt &/or believed that my Uncle, my Grandmother & my friends have been looking over me but I guess since it's usually the other way around, parents protect their children, I have a hard time thinking that Jimmy is watching over me. It is more that I honestly feel so lost in this world with-out Jimmy. I had 3 children, Jimmy was my first. I had just turned 19yrs old when I had him and I feel like he's always been there. I took for granted that he would bury me not the other way around. Also, I constantly feel that I am putting on a happy face & therefore I'm not truly feeling. I have to be strong around the people I work with, around my 20yr & 12yr old, it makes me angry at times that I feel I can't be myself. It isn't anyones fault & I can't be an angry person the rest of my life. He has to be nearby, he loved his little sister so much & he was so very protective of me when he was alive. I should accept that he is nearby and allow myself to open up to him. Just having somewhere to write these feelings and thoughts is helpfull.
Oct 14, 2012
dream moon JO B
i thnnk i cort sumthnk in the sky i dont no ifts a angel or sumtnk
Oct 15, 2012
Mary
Kali, they say that very young children can see angels, so she very well may be seeing her daddy or another angel
Oct 15, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
Kim, I will be praying for you. You do have a lot on your plate, and I'm sorry so much is hitting you at once. I know how you feel. It is awful. All I can think to do to help you is pray.
jb - I do see a person in the clouds, too.
Hey, can I talk to you all for a while. I've been trying to avoid getting into the nitty gritty of my problems, because my parents have been dead for a while, and I don't want to burden those who have more recently lost someone. But, I am having a hard time. I've had to slow down a bit lately. My health has had some issues and my husband's health has had some issues. I've had to pull it in and be more in the moment for those issues. Moving slower gives me more time to think. Then I've been working with my counselor and the past couple of weeks have intensely been working on past memories and situations. Making me think more in that time I have more of to think. And, it is all rushing back. My dad has been calling me more on the phone, but instead of just hanging up there is a long period where there is sound but it is not sound I am familiar with. The night before last I heard bells like a wind chime ringing 2 to 3 rings at a time. But, still he does not say anything to me. It is the same - the calls come in the middle of the night around the time he died, and they do not show up on my call log. They started exactly 24 hours after he died, so I know they are him. And, all calls show up on my call log except these. He has been gone a year and a half, so I am very very afraid that he is trying to tell me something or needs help, and I can't help him. If he were trying to tell me he is okay, would they still be happening. They are making me scared. And, when I'm listening to the sound (don't know what that sound is), I feel like I'm between both worlds.
Then, last night I had an experience. It might have been a dream, but I don't remember a dream. But, I felt like I was with my mom. She had a feeling about her as all people do, and I could feel her. And, I woke up this morning thinking that I had to clear my Saturday, so she and I could go shopping. We used to go shopping on Saturday a lot. Then, after I was awake for a little while I realized she was not alive and there would be no shopping, and I was devastated. I remember that feeling. It was a feeling, like an energy, we created together and that is how it felt when we spent time together. So, I woke up just knowing she was going to go shopping with me, but she is not here. I am devastated, and I can't stop crying. But, my dad's been gone a year and a half, and she died before him. I miss her so much. I don't really enjoy life since she left. I'm not feeling suicidal as i say this, so don't worry - but I'm torn between wanting to be here and wanting to go be with them.
Today is a very hard day, and I'm sorry to burden you all with it, because many of you have new grief that hurts even more. I don't want to be a burden to you all who have new grief.
Oct 22, 2012
Kali Grainger
Storyas, please don't feel as those you are a burden in any way. Grief is grief... it doesn't matter how long it has been. We all hurt. I also don't personally believe that your father is trying to tell you he needs help or anything like that. I don't think there are any worries or concerns on the other side. He is probably just trying to make a connection.. You are lucky to have a connection. I don't even feel Chris around me.
Oct 22, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
Kali, thank you. I know you are right, but sometimes grief makes us have distorted thinking. I think sometimes when we are grieving we think the worst possible instead of the best until the grief is over, then we can see the best. I thank God that I do have a connection. I'm not like a psychic or anything, but I come from the Appalachian Mountains and most people there are raised from children that this is normal (then I came to the city and they told me it wasn't and I turned a lot of it off), so most people in my family have had these experiences. I am grateful to have the connection. I want to hear from him even if it scares me sometimes. I'm grieving over a lot of losses lately plus recovering from exhaustion from being a caregiver several times in a row. So, I'm not always answering the phone. I just can't handle it sometimes. But, every time I get thoe middle of the night calls, I pick up right away in hopes it is him even if I'm scared. The other night my ringer was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it ring and there was a message. But, most of the time I grab that phone so fast and answer it hoping it is him. And, it hurts a lot, but I love those dreams of my mom, because I feel like I made a connection.
I'm sure Chris is with you even if you can't feel him. Some of us are just more sensitive than others. It has been my experience that right brained people get connections easier than left brained people, but I could be wrong. That is what I've seen in my small little piece of the universe. But, I think we can all do it eventually. I just say don't give up. Ask him to contact you. I did that one day with my dad. I visited his and my mom's grave, and as I left I asked them to let me know they were okay. I had a phone call that night.
You know - I admit I'm a very emotional person. Maybe that opens something in me that allows these things to happen. Are you emotional? Maybe if you just really let your emotions open up and feel all your feeling and let it out and in that state ask him to give you a message. I don't know if it will work. I'm just trying to think of things to help you. Because, as I'm thinking about this, it seems that those phone calls and dreams happen when I am really really really missing them and I'm feeling very emotional - am feeling so emotional I'm not blocking my emotions. Maybe there is something about not blocking our emotions that let it happen. It seems like these things happen to me when I'm being the most emotional.
I hope you get a message from Chris soon. Have you even had dreams? Maybe he is coming in dreams. In the early days after my Mom died, she only came to me in dreams.
I will be praying for you.
Oct 22, 2012
Kali Grainger
I am an emotional person but I am also an over thinker... The medium I saw a few weeks after Chris died said my grief blocks me from feeling him etc.. b/c once I can feel him and connect with him it means my heart has to accept he is really gone. I have dreamt about him a few times.. but only one felt real and we didn't speak in it. I know he can't be with me all the time but I want to know when he is...
Oct 23, 2012
dream moon JO B
me 2 storyas i nead to slow doon to i thnk nead a good kick up the behind to forse my self to sea a dr i woz at 95th bday party yesterday a freind of mum and dads i still call him uncle bill mum enjoyed her but still stressed out uncle bill not realy my uncle survid canser we all say he will liv us all out just sum days mum gets her self deprssed she thorts she saw my dad siting on the sofa in the front room iv had more exsprenes with ballons popping its abot 12 tims now evry leter i wite to him thy pop sum times withh a loud bag it sum times scares the birds away wen i do it
Oct 23, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - that is amazing that those balloons keep popping for you. My phone keeps ringing too. It happened again last week. I love my dad so much. I miss him so much. Every time it rings like that I jump up and grab it. this last time there was some weird sound that I've never heard anything like and every few seconds bells would ring - 3 times louder to softer. I don't know why this happens, but the bible says there will be gifts of the spirit and that now we see as through a glass darkly, so there is much we don't understand. I'm just accepting these gifts and being grateful for them even if I don't understand them.
I went to the grocery store last night and I just walked by a case and saw Neopolitan ice cream and started crying. My dad loved Neopolitan ice cream. I hope they have Neopolitan ice cream and kit kats and everything else he likes to eat in heaven.
Yes, you probably should see a doctor, but I'm the world's biggest hypocrite by telling you that. I haven't seen a doctor in a long time. After the medical mistakes and neglect and abuse my dad experienced, I have a phobia of doctors. The last time I tried to go to the doctor I didn't get beyond the threshold. They started to take my blood pressure and my blood pressure shot so high from fear that I started having chest pains, and I told the doctor that I needed to get out of there before I had a heart attack. My chest was actually seizing up with pain. I almost scared myself to death. My blood pressure was 170/130. I got home and took it several times as I calmed down and it went down to borderline high in an hour 140/90. By the next morning it was normal. I told my grief counselor that if I force this phobia right now and force myself to go to the doctor that I will literally scare myself to death.
Oct 27, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
Kali - I know how you feel. We don't want to admit they are gone and we want to hold onto them forever. It is hard not to long for the way things used to be. I see my grand-nieces and nephews and think - my Mom and Dad should be here. But, I think they are. My grand-nieces and nephews have experiences that seem like they are aware too. And, most of the adults in the family do too. I guess the only thing you can do is trust and have faith that he is with you and okay until you are able to have more experiences than these dreams. But, hold onto those dreams. You are right - those dreams feel different than other dreams (just like the phone calls feel different than other phone calls in addition to not showing up on my call log). You just know deep inside yourself. Hold onto that. I'm sure he was telling you he is okay. Blessings to you.
Oct 27, 2012
dream moon JO B
i did go to the dr storyas got sum stuf got told if i get any worse at the weakend fone for a ambulanse to take me to casualty ed apartment or a and e keep on changingg the name of thngs i mite nead nebulizizez in my system sats wer ok but all the stress as borot a episode flare up on i fianaly admited i cant fase the hospilte im scared in case i get admitedd to tht respty ward my dad woz on withh lazy nursesone my lick tht wud happen non my look thd probly hav me arested i no wot u mean abot drreams bean so real the best 1s u dont want to wake up but the bad dreams last all nite i had to buy a dream catcher to stop thm the womon on the market stall wear i got it from must of thort i woz a nut case
Oct 27, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
I'm glad you went to the doctor and I hope you don't have to go to the hospital - I pray! It sounds like some of your hospitals are as bad as some of ours and they scare me too for that reason. I hope you have been doing okay over the weekend and that you don't have to go to the hospital.
Oct 27, 2012
dream moon JO B
it happend agaim with the ballon on 2 ballon i wote to my dad 1 poppet the other 1 jumpet and waved and popet i thng im geting sines from ballons im skared silly of hospitles i am iv had the nebulizers and oxgian before im ok wit that i dont like that wot u call it thng thy stick in yore hand or arm coz thy can never find veins on me on my arms or hand the wud do beter heting blood out of a ston i thng that wud hav more blood in it
Oct 28, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - are you doing better since you went to the doctor? I hope you didn't have to go to the hospital and that the stuff the doctor gave you is working. I know how you feel - I'm terrified of hospitals now after all I saw my dad go through. Just terrified of them. Doctors too. Every time I go to the doctor my blood pressure immediately shoots through the roof and they think I have this super high blood pressure but then it goes down to borderline high when I get home and take it at home. I'm that terrified of them. Last time I went my bp shot so high I almost gave myself a heart attack - I was having chest pains. I told my doctor I'm afraid I'm going to scare myself to death trying to get medical treatments. I think the thing you are talking about going in your arm is the IV? My dad had problems too. His veins were getting so used up and they were small too. They started using child sized needles on him and then it was easier on him and the person putting the needle in. You might want to ask your doctor about putting child sized IV needles on your chart.
Oct 29, 2012
dream moon JO B
so far so good storyas hospitles skare me silly thy make my blood presure go sky hi sum times its over 180 or 200 i no it sonds bad i no others is worse thn me even thm kids 1 thy try to put in me they still never fond a vein im so skared of hospitles iv got this silly idea tht u dont com out of thm plases alive im all ways telling other peple to go and get help i must be a big hipcript wen i never take my own advise but like i saed in my last post i can handle the oxgin and nebulizer just the hospiles and neadles pluss hospitles hav tht smelll im not going to say whot it is in case i skare other people i no im skared the sam is storyas
Oct 29, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
I'm glad the medicines the doctor gave you are helping and you can avoid the hospitals. Maybe God meant us to meet on here, so we can support each other through this. It is weird sometimes how much alike we are. Our dads were very much alike. We are both artists. We are both terrified of doctors and hospitals. We both have our blood pressure skyrocket when we go to them. I'm a hypocrite too, and I know it. Whenever anyone I care about is even a little sick I'm reminding them to go to the doctor, but I don't go myself. And, as i tell my friends to go to the doctor I'm sitting there thinking to myself that I'm a hypocrite. I see a counselor for it. It is a full-blown phobia. I don't know how long it will take me to get over it or if I ever will.
Oct 29, 2012
dream moon JO B
Oct 29, 2012
Kali Grainger
Think I may have gotten my first sign from Chris. I went into the candy bag my mom had made Ellis for Halloween since she is too young to eat any of it.. and grabbed a kit kat and what I thought was a Reese cup (love them) but when I went to open it I realized it was Reese's Pieces (hate them)which I have never seen in Halloween size before. Chris loved them and always had them.
Nov 1, 2012
2sad2b
Nov 1, 2012
dream moon JO B
som thnk strange happend to day the ketel jumpet at 150pm the same tim my dad used to put the ketel on wen he went on his nebulizer mashin
Nov 2, 2012
Aileen Ainsworth
Nov 8, 2012
dream moon JO B
it happend again with the ballons on 4 ballons they all moved fast 2 on the ground popet and the other 2 a bithigher waved and popet but my harf brother saw it this time even he got a shock he woz like they they they burst he woz sturting worse thn i do if im in a lot of peoples in a groud or if im stresed i no his older thn me but my dad tret him and my older harf sister like his own my sister gets anoyed at me for not dressinf like her she thnks i dress like a hobo but like i saed thy r people 2 or naging me abot drinking 2 mush diet coke i no im going to sond like a smoker if i did not drink it it wood kill me
Nov 26, 2012
dream moon JO B
i cort ths on camara u wud thnk it woz a hand trying to get hold of somthnk
Dec 2, 2012
alfred robinson
This blog is right, it happens, and is very common in Africa.
Dec 7, 2012
dream moon JO B
i agrea whot u say alferd it happens in the uk
Dec 7, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
Hi everyone! I'm sorry I haven't been on much lately. I started doing a class in September plus my husband and I both have had continuing health problems, so I've had to slow down a bit on a lot of things. But, I wanted to say thank you to everyone for all of your support during my grief and to say Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you. I know for most of us it is hard to have a Merry Christmas or sometimes even to have hope for the New Year, so I hoped this poem might help some. My Mom died on December 8, just shortly before Christmas, so Christmas has been very hard for me since (I find solace in buying for the kids, but I don't even care if I get presents or anything like that). Someone gave me this poem, and it did help a little bit:
This poem was written by a 13 year old boy who died of a brain tumor that he had battled for four years. He died on December 14, 1997. He gave this to his mom before he died. His name was Ben.
My First Christmas in Heaven
I see the countless
Christmas trees
around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars,
reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular,
please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you,
the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description,
to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away,
We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
I sent you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory
of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious
than pure gold.
was always most important
the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other,
my Father said to do.
I can't count the blessing or love
has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas and
Wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year
Dec 18, 2012
Eliza
Dec 25, 2012
dream moon JO B
my dad has come to me a lot of times in dreams k som of the dreams feal so real i thnk its realy hapend iv had more exprense with balons blank bloons have popet with a big bang and the 1s with leters to my dad burst 1 day i too thm wear my dads ashes is buried i let 7 ballons go all burst i now no its my dad comincting even told me he miss us all merry xmas wish he woz stil hear and to get my mum a present from him last month i cort these foto the hand and somthnk spooky coming out the grave
Dec 26, 2012
dream moon JO B
its not the part wear my dads ashes is bured
Dec 26, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - Hi. Thank you for the pictures. The first picture in the cemetary where you see the misty light - I see that all the time. Sometimes just even in my own home. In my home, it seems to mostly happen at night, when I up alone wandering the house. At first I thought my eyes were going bad, but I just had them tested. Other than needing a slightly stronger glasses, my eyes were fine. No signs of disease of any kind. I started seeing that a while ago - I think that began after my Mom died instead of after my Dad died, but it has continued since my Dad died.
I hope you don't mind, jb, but I stole your idea. I went to the store and bought a bag of balloons, and I am going to start writing letters and taking the to the grave in the blown up balloons. We'll see if any of mine pop like so many of yours have popped. I also bought some glass globe ornaments where you can decorate them yourself, and I bought enough of those on sale to put a globe and a balloon both on each of my parent's graves each week. I also bought a bunch of clip on butterflies - enough to put one on their grave each week, that I plan to clip to flowers I take for them to bring some spring to them.
I've been feeling very sad the last few days. I think some of it is Christmas. I think some of it is the stress of Christmas being over and giving me some downtime. I think some of it is some things that have happened. My dad was victim of very very very severe child abuse that left him handicapped and having PTSD all of his life. I now understand a little bit what he felt like with PTSD when he was alive. I had a neighbor move in about four years ago. She was a lot like the grandparents who abused my dad - mean, snarly, fight provoking, drunk all the time, on drugs all the time. She told me she had been in jail several times for felony drug convictions. Each time her sister kept her kids, but then she got them back when she got out of jail, but the sister still wants the kids to give them more stability. Well, I tried to be friends with her, mostly for the kids. When she first moved in, the Mom would leave the kids alone and walk up and down the street all night knocking on our doors at all hours. Sometimes we'd find her asleep on the neighbors lawn or on someone's roof. It was crazy. But, I kept being nice to her for the kids. When my dad was dying, I had to make him the priority. I was under so much stress the whole time I was taking care of my dad and she made it harder every step of the way, but I was not going to let her do that while my dad was dying. I told her No - I was staying with my Dad. She got so mad that she started saying hateful hateful hateful things to me like, "Everyone has problems but the fact that I would make my problems more important than hers showed that I was unstable." Get real! My dad was dying - huge problem. She wanted me to sit and watch her drink, so she wouldn't feel alone. No comparison. Had she been a friend to me at all she would have lived her own words, realized my problem was greater and been there to support me instead of trying to mow me over to make me be with her instead of my dying dad. Well, she moved away about six weeks ago, and I was on top of the world. I will miss her kids, but I was so glad she was gone that me and my husband stood in the middle of our living room and did a happy dance at least three or four times a day for over a week. Well, I learned on Christmas Day that before she left she went up and down my street and told people horrible things about me to get even with me for deciding to be there for my dad as he died instead of being there to help her through another drunken binge. Well, 99% of the people don't believe her, because if they've lived here long enough they remember finding her asleep on their lawns, etc. Even the ones who moved in after that but have been her for a couple of weeks have witness or experienced her extremely mean and loud screaming assaults against neighbors. But, the people who lived in her four family all moved in after her last episode, so they believed her. And, there is a group home down the street where there are a couple of residents that are unstable enough that they believed her. Sadly, she has talked worse about them than anyone on the street, but they haven't been here long enough to have seen her episodes, so they believed her and one of them got really nasty with me on Christmas Day. So, I found myself understanding what my dad went through to some degree. I will never know what it was like to be an abused child like he was, but I mostly definitely understand how PTSD can develop due to being in an environment where chaos and drama are the norm and you never know what to expect because cause and effect don't take their normal course due to a mental person directing the effect. Coming to that understanding has made me even that much more sad for my dad. He must have felt fear every day of his life wondering when those people were going to punish him again or lead others to punish him again for something he didn't even do. So, I've got the blues today.
I hope you are doing well and that Christmas was not too horrible without your Dad. I hope you and your Mom and the rest of your family had a wonderful Christmas.
Dec 28, 2012
dream moon JO B
thaqnks storyas i hope u get a reply on yore ballons 2 evry time thy pop i seam to get more strange dreams abot my dad some times the dreams feal so real like its realy happend wen i wake up after the dreams im like did it happen or woz it a dream im pleased the nite mares stopet thnks to the dream catcher my dads best mate died last month my surgate uncle i called him uncle bill he died on the same ward my dad died on his dorter saied at the funrall he got s@@t tretment and lazy nurse doing nout just gsping my anti woz in hospilte but i feal ashamed for not gping to sea her the thort of seting foot in the hospilte made me feal ill it give me a nerves stomic but thnk god she is home got out ob xmas eve day she has emthasina smoket from the age of 11 she is 80 now but wont pack in smoking iv just lernet how to make movies on my movie maker on hear i posted some on vimeo evry time i try to catch the ballons pop im to late to switch my camcorda on to catch thm i am its like no u wont catch me xmas woz hard it woz this yer xmas day woz hard seaning people asking how in feal me with tears in my eyes thn 26th decmber bean my dads bday but xmas time has allways bean my dads time of yr iy has he loved xmas he did hear is a code for 1 http://vimeo.com/527604437loop=1"
Dec 29, 2012
Storyas Fawnfeather
Hi jb - I'm sorry Christmas was so hard for you. I didn't realize your dad's birthday was 12/26 - that must make it double hard for you. I am so sorry you have to go through that each year. I tried to look at the video, but I could not get it to work. I will talk to my husband when he gets home and see if he can help me make it to work. I am so sorry to hear abut your uncle and am so sorry to hear he was on that same ward with the lazy nurses. I can't understand why so many hospitals let that kind of thing go on. I remember once when I went to visit my dad he was sitting in his wheelchair screaming for help and they were ignoring him and just having a party around the nurses station. I was SOOOO mad. I hope your aunt understands why you get sick when you start to walk in the hospital. Maybe you can talk to her and tell her why you feel so badly going to the hospital. I feel the same way. I can't even stand to drive past the hospital any more. I know my friends must be getting so tired of me, because still I cry too often. I just drive by the hospital and I start to cry. There are just so many horrible memories - not just of him being sick but of how bad they treated him. There was only one hospital in this city I live in where there are many many hospitals that treated him good. When he went to Christ hospital, they treated him good. Any place else we went, I would find myself sitting on the floor crying whenever he went to sleep and couldn't see me cry, because I just couldn't even get the staff to act like they cared. And, the nursing home was even worse. Thank God for Christ hospital. At the end, I wouldn't let the paramedics take him any place else. I will let you know what happens with the balloons. I want to go over on Friday morning on my way to a meeting I have to go to near the cemetary. I plan to take balloons then. Do you fill them with helium or just blow them up with your own breath? I do hope that you are feeling a little better now that Christmas is over. I will talk to you soon.
Jan 1, 2013
dream moon JO B
hi storyas happy new yr for 2013 no u just blow the ballons up my self thn let thm go it happend again wen i went up to check up on my dads ashes wear thy r buried but some horbel person pinchet the flowers i left in the varses if the code is wong it me not bean good with computers
Jan 1, 2013
Storyas Fawnfeather
What kind of person would take someone's flowers they left for a loved one at the loved one's grave? That is horrible. I'm not sure it is you using the computer wrong. I am not good with computers either. I bet it is me doing something wrong. I will get my husband to help me. I will tell you what happens with the balloons when I take them to my parent's graves.
Jan 1, 2013
dream moon JO B
i wish i new whot time of person wud pinch flowers just makes me mad thnking abot it i went up on xmas eve wear my dads ashes is buried put the flowrs in the varse i no i cheat iv got plant fead for flowerds hidin some wear so the flowers can last longer thn i go up on sunday to check on thm to add more plant fead to get a shock tht some horbel personhad stole thm soe body had tost some 1s weath away off this mans sons grave i dont why people steal off graves must be sic in the hed
Jan 1, 2013
Storyas Fawnfeather
jb - It makes me sick too. It happened to my Mom's grave once. My dad was still alive. Me and my Dad and all the Grandchildren got together and really decorated my Mom's grave nice for Christmas the Christmas after she died. We put a tree on her grave and a wreath and poinsettias and then we put these wooden candy canes on each corner and put frog garland around, because she loved frogs. Someone came and destroyed it. We got so upset that we were sitting there crying and this lady who had a family grave near my Mom's came over and told us that she'd seen the person tear it up. He caught her attention cuz he was being really mad and cussing us for putting it up, so she took a picture of him. She showed us the picture, and it was my brother - the one I told you about that abused my dad and Adult Protective Services took my dad from him and gave him to me to care for. So, after that experience, it just sickens me to think of someone stealing from a grave. It's not like something they can't live without like food or something. I would understand if I put a cake on the grave and a hungry person or even animal came along and ate it. But, we can live without flowers, so there is no reason to steal them. If you need the beauty of flowers, go and look at them for as long as you want and then leave them in peace for the person they were left for.
Jan 2, 2013
dream moon JO B
its sic storyas peole who destroy graves a few month ago som 1 destoyed a childs grave a 7r old boy who batel lukema for yrs some 1 had smasht all the toys on it it the time the litl boys mother woz apleing for witness to come fowerd but it allways happens on a nittime wear under age drinkers go in and destroy graves i just hope thy feal ashamed for whot thy hav dun
Jan 2, 2013
Storyas Fawnfeather
That is horrible. You'd think that they would at least have a little more respect for a child's grave. But, it is the same here. Some underage drinkers went into my Mom and Dad's graveyard about ten years ago while my parents were still alive and even demolished monuments that were over 100 years old. My parents were just sickened by the lack of respect in that.
Jan 2, 2013
dream moon JO B
his mother had the grave so nise lots of litel boys toys even people woz pting toys on 2 people try so hard to look after the graves and the ashes grave and the pets grave and u get some sico doing these horbel thngs
Jan 2, 2013
dream moon JO B
did a silly thng today cheking the notes in my wallet but standing in the midle of the rd withh out relizing looky no cars woz o0n the rod
Jan 6, 2013
Connie K
Not sure if I am posting this correctly or maybe it already posted. Sometimes I am so confused on this website! Sorry.
It was 2 months last Sat night that I lost my sweet boy Daniel. He was 17. It was my birthday yesterday and my husband's is this coming Sat. It was so hard. I know what you mean about wanting to hear "Hey Mom". Oh God I miss him so much and I just want to reach out and give him a hug and for life to be bearable again. I am so sorry for your pain and for everyone who has to endure this loss.
By the way - Have any of you experienced seeing 11:11. We had that experience this week and it felt very real. My husband was setting the alarm clock in Daniel's room which had gotten unplugged. He wasn't sure what time it was so he went into our room to check the time on his phone. As he did, it was 11:11. Just then the clock in Daniel's room beeped. He went in and it was set to 11:11. At the same time I was walking our dog and decided to look at my phone for the time. It was 11:11 and I thought that was unusual. When I got home, my husband told me about his experience and I couldn't believe that I had looked at the same time. When I told my meditation teacher about it she said "Oh that's significant. That is the time that heaven's doors open." What? So I started researching 11:11 and it turns out that it seems to be a spiritual digital code for spirit guides to contact us. There is an amazing amount of information and experiences out there and I never knew about it. It is called the 11:11 phenomenon. I know it was real. I know Daniel visited us. My husband has always been a skeptic but after having his own experience, he feels it too. So be mindful and if you see 11's all the time or happen to glance at the clock at 11:11, someone may be trying to guide you or just trying to say "hi". It gives me some peace. Google it and you will be intrigued by what you find.
Jan 29, 2013
Nancy L
Grandmother --
Years ago when my grandmother died, I had woken up about 12:15 AM, I saw my grandmother sitting at the foot of the bed. She patted her hand on my leg like she use to do when I was a child. I fell back to sleep, then in the morning I got a call that my grandmother had passed. I asked what time and they said 12:15 AM. I became very dizzy and nearly fell down.
Jan 30, 2013
Nancy L
When my nephew died in a motorcycle accident. My niece (his sister) was holding her 2 year old son at the funeral home. (At 2 he spoke some things, but not real well.) She was crying and her son took her face in both of his little hands and turned her face towards him. In PLAIN words he told her not to cry that he is okay, it will be okay. After hearing this I had a vision that my nephew who had died turned around and walked away and disappeared. My niece, his mother and I all sat down and looked at each other. He was there with us and spoke through a baby to us.
Jan 30, 2013