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Comment by Stephanie Dawn on November 23, 2010 at 9:25pm

Yeah I've been thinking about doing that but I don't really know what I should look for when it comes to finding on. Which kind would I go to? One that would work with my to naturally deal with everything or someone who would prescribe something to help? Who did you go see?

Comment by Robin Nicole Pena on November 22, 2010 at 10:08am

O yeah i've been through that. Its like an emotional roller coaster. one minute you're fine and the next you burst into tears. Like I said it will be like that for a while. Actually I went to grief counseling when my mom died. It really helped. I'm not sure if you're comfortable with that but it's just a suggestion.

Comment by Stephanie Dawn on November 20, 2010 at 11:05pm

I'm starting to get the whole denial thing. I mean I know that she's gone and not coming back but the whole expecting her to be there thing is still really strong. Its more of a my mind knows she gone but the rest of me won't except that. I was wondering if you had ever gone through a stage when you were really numb to everything? I'm like that now and I really don't like it or the way it makes me feel. I feel terrible that one day I can be upset and then the next week nothing seems to touch me. Not to mention I sleep, a lot. I know that's kinda normal for people who are depressed but it just seems like its all I do. Anyway, anything you can thing of as advice would be a huge help.

Comment by Robin Nicole Pena on November 19, 2010 at 11:18am

I understand completely! The first year I did the same thing. I would come home from work and expect her to be sitting there in the living room watching her basketball or her tennis or the golden girls. And I would remember that she was gone. It's going to feel like that for a while. I've done a lot of research on grieving and thats probably a good idea for you as well. It's reassuring to know that the things you are experiencing are perfectly normal. I know there were times where i would want to burst out crying for no reason. Still do sometimes. But that doesn't mean we're crazy, we just miss our moms. The best advice i can give is to let yourself grieve. Whatever emotions you are feeling, let them happen. But be careful not to isolate yourself too much, because that's not healthy. Let yourself grieve, that way you can start to heal. Sometimes people get caught up in trying to get over it, it comes back to bite them in the ass later on because they've never dealt with it. And honestly it's going to take some time for it to sink in. Last week was the 2 year anniversary of my moms death. The whole month of November was extremely difficult. I could figure out why. It almost felt like it had happened all over again. But I did some reading and talked to a few people, and I came to the conclusion that the first year is tough and you cry and what not but your body is still in shock the first year. That's actually a stage in grieving. But I learned that I was feeling like this because mentally Im starting to realize that shes gone and shes not coming back. I am mentally stronger to face that reality now and thats why I was having such a hard time with it. But this is definitely a process Stephanie. But if you ever need help or need someone to talk to, yo can talk to me.

Comment by Stephanie Dawn on November 19, 2010 at 12:53am

Thanks for replying Robin. I was wondering what helps with the grieving process. I understand that time helps but it just seems its taking a long time for me to even get that she's gone. I mean I know she is but I still come home from school and for a split second almost go in talk to her and that seems to happen a lot. Any suggestions that could help me move into the direction of actually dealing with it would help.

Comment by Robin Nicole Pena on November 18, 2010 at 5:17pm

Hi Stephanie. I'm Robin. I wasn't as young as you when I lost my mother, but I was young still. I was 22 when she died. She was my best friend too. Even now after 2 years have passed, I still feel lost without her. I miss her comfort, and her warmth. But just know that she is still with you. She's in her your heart. I feel her all the time. She is apart of me. No one can ever take that away from you.

Comment by Stephanie Dawn on November 1, 2010 at 2:48pm

I lost my Mom the weekend before the start of my senior year, its been over two months but I'm still just upset as I was the day it happened, if not more. I can't help feeling lost without my Mom and I'm wondering how others who have lost someone close to them, at such a young age, learns to deal with it.

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