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Permalink Reply by Rhondelle Emery on September 12, 2011 at 9:25am

I'm so sorry for your loss, Amber. I'm sure you've heard that a million times by now, though. It doesn't make it any less true. I lost my brother in a pretty horrific car accident. The difference was, however, that I was allowed to see him afterwards. I don't know if it helped or if it hindered. I think about him now and honestly, I wish I could just remember he way he was when he was alive. He was pretty bad after the accident and that's usually the way I end up thinking about him. My suggestion to you, if you really want to see the pictures, is to ask yourself why first. If you think that seeing will help you to process it, then by all means. The one good thing that did come out of my seeing my brother after he passed away is that it did help me to understand that even though this wasn't what anybody wanted, it may have been what was best. I know that sounds sick, but let me explain. My brother was a very active person. He loved to fish, he was a firefighter, and most of all, he was a thrill seeker. Had he survived that night, my brother, in all probability, would have been a vegetable. I knew him well enough to know that this wouldn't be any way for him to live. My brother would never have been able to accept never being able to run, move, hold his daughter, or anything even as simple as walking himself to the bathroom again. That wasn't who he was or how he lived. It helped in that aspect to know that maybe this was the only way for HIM.  If you think that "doing this to yourself" is going to help, do it. You can't go by what everyone else tells you. What may not be what they think is best for you may be what helps you to move on. I don't know if anything I just said helped, but I certainly hope so. My thoughts are with you!