I am new to this website....I finally realized I needed to surround myself by others who have lost a child or loved one. I lost my daughter on May 10th, 2011. She was 1 day shy of 3 months old....Its a very sudden and complicated loss. I was a full time mother, going to school full time and working a part time job to support my daughter. Her father was no longer in the picture and I had met someone else towards the end of my pregnancy. He wanted to help raise her with me and be the father she was never gonna have. He watched her a lot for me. To help the stress. I was looking for a permanent solution for a baby sitter just wasn't having any luck. The weekend of Mothers Day I was going to take my boyfriend and daughter down to Ohio to spend it with family. I woke her up that friday she seemed sleepy and out of it, I didn't think to much of it since she was just diagnosed with acid reflex and wasn't feeling that well. On the way to Ohio I realized she hadnt cried for a bottle so I pulled over and found her unresponsive. I called 911 and they took her to the near by hospital. It took them 45 minutes to revive her. Since that hospital wasn't equipped to deal with pediatric patients they flew her by helicopter to Mots Hospital in Ann Arbor. They found a bleed in her brain and told me she was brain dead and would in a short time be released from life support. They did tests after tests and still no life was left in her. After 4 days on May 10th at 5:39pm I let her have her angel wings. It turns out my boyfriend at the time purposely dropped her to the floor while I was at work and never told me about the incident. He is currently in jail and awaiting trial in April. I have no idea how to deal with all this. I  am on medication for depression, sleep and anxiety. This holiday coming up has been hell on my heart. I dont know what to do so I wanted to surround myself by others who may know what I am going through or just someone who cares enough to give me some advice.