Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kristie on October 7, 2012 at 9:43am

Angie,

My heart breaks for you so much.  I was on vacation, on the beach with my dad, my husband, my daughter, my niece and her boyfriend, in July.  I turned 40 on a Friday, and we drove from Orlando, to Panama City Beach Florida the same day, to wind up our vacation on the beach.  The next day, we were all at the beach, and I was sitting with my dad, when he suddenly had a heart attack.  Right there, on that beautiful beach, in that chair right beside me.  We had been talking and watching his two granddaughters playing in the ocean.  It was a horrible, traumatic moment, and like you, the Dr. at the hospital told me he passed away while there on the beach.  He was my best friend, and the best dad ever.  I lost my brother (only 18 months older than me), 4 years ago, to a car accident, and my mom two years ago.  I thought I was stronger, since I had gone through so much already, but this is so different.  I make myself function, for my husband and daughter, but I feel like a huge part of me is just gone, and I wonder sometimes how I can make it.  Life just seems so different without my best friend/ dad, and w/o my brother and mom here.  I have no other siblings, so I feel like my whole family (biological, that I grew up with) is gone.  I DREAD the holidays coming up.   I am the one that always cooks, and I know I need to do it this year, especially for my daughter, but I don't know if I can.   Keep praying, that's what I do.  I know God has a plan, and I know he is in control.  I also know it will get easier, I just wish it would get easier sooner rather than later.....  I'll be praying for you!!!

Permalink Reply by Angie on October 7, 2012 at 1:01pm

Thank you so much for caring. It means alot. I too am dreading the holidays...they will never ever feel the same to me..which is a shame bc I absolutely lived for the holidays. Honestly I don't even want them to come now. I have to keep stopping myself from calling her to tell her something or just seeing what shes up to. I keep searching for her presence. I just want her back and its mind blowing to me that I have to live the rest of my life without her. I always had that fear that something could possibly happen to my mom one day ever since my dad passed..but now I'm flabbergasted that it actually happened!!! Its just like a nightmare. I just want to sit on the porch with her and shoot the breeze and talk about meaningless stuff. I just miss her so much. I have a dr appt tomorrow so hopefully they will give me something that will help. I too will pray for you. I will be thinking of you through the holidays and we can be strong together.

Permalink Reply by Angie on October 7, 2012 at 1:15pm

Thank you so much for caring. It means alot. I too am dreading the holidays...they will never ever feel the same to me..which is a shame bc I absolutely lived for the holidays. Honestly I don't even want them to come now. I have to keep stopping myself from calling her to tell her something or just seeing what shes up to. I keep searching for her presence. I just want her back and its mind blowing to me that I have to live the rest of my life without her. I always had that fear that something could possibly happen to my mom one day ever since my dad passed..but now I'm flabbergasted that it actually happened!!! Its just like a nightmare. I just want to sit on the porch with her and shoot the breeze and talk about meaningless stuff. I just miss her so much. I have a dr appt tomorrow so hopefully they will give me something that will help. I too will pray for you. I will be thinking of you through the holidays and we can be strong together.

Permalink Reply by Dr S Gh on October 18, 2012 at 10:51am

Hi angie. Am soo sorry for yr loss, i lost my mum nearly 4 weeks ago. She collapsed and died of a heart attack right in front of us. I am finding it harder and harder with each passing day. Every morning i wake up it hits me very hard that she is not around anymore and is never coming back. Like you my biggest fear has always been losing her, as i have a seriuos illness myself and she was my reason for carrying on. Now i seem to have no reason to carry on. Nothing is the same anymore and i know that i will nevr be the same person i was with her alive. I soo understand how ur feeling. I miss her so much and no one can take her place or make me feel any better right now. I feel i don't even want to talk to my friends as they all have their mums alive and i feel i'm in a parallel nightmare world from everyone else. hugs

Permalink Reply by nadia on October 20, 2012 at 10:16am

everything I read is my life.. I lost my wonderful sister 20 moths ago... my soulmate my besets friend... heart attack at 36 !!  a beautiful fit girl.... I was talking to her on the phone planning our summer hols (had managed to get 7 weeks off to spend together) and next day I get the dreadful call..the pain is still raw ... I miss her everyday.... every minute.. I have kids and partner but she as my besets friend the person that knew me the most the person I could relay 1000% the person I had planned to spend old age with... I am lost .. I do not know how to live a life without her.... i get some good days but random moment of despair ..I still cannot accept this... I feel like wake me up I wanna call you... I have picked up the phone to call.. I leave msg on FB... I want to go back in time to relive every minute..I cannot believe she is gone... how can it be so young...?? why so many people survive it and she was taken from me... I know what you feel.. it does get easier but the hole is always there and will always be... not even my kids can keep the sadness away... they do distract me with their happiness but I look at them and I am feel pain that they will forget their beautiful auntie who dotted on them..she ted to their second mum but young they are not cannot remember ... I pains me so much...  

Permalink Reply by Laurie Finch on October 25, 2012 at 1:06pm

Hi Angie, I am so sorry, I just lost my mother on sept. 5th and I lost two grandchildren on june 29.
I really feel your pain and I know it does feel like it is getting harder every day. I thought it was suppose to get a little bit easier as time goes. There isn't any words to ease your pain, but if you would like to chat on here Im all ears and I have a shoulder to cry on. I found talking to people that are going through the same thing does help, because we can relate to what your going through.
What happened to your mom was just terrible, she was only 5 years older then me. And I can see how it was a shock! My heart and prayers go out to you.