I just lost my mother on December 3rd. This also happened to be my wedding anniversary. I thought I would be prepared for her death because she was 87 years old. However  she took a fall and was getting stitches. The were getting ready to admit her for the night when she crashed. I watched them try to save her and was in the room when they called it.  When I close my eyes all I can see is how her arms flopped as they shocked her. I don't sleep more than 3 hours a night. I don't feel like doing anything and I can't focus for any length of time. Can anyone give me any ideas on how to get through this. I would greatly appreciate if anyone could.