I lost my young wife suddenly to cancer more than 2 years ago and, although some things very slowly have gradually become easier, I still struggle with many things. I would describe myself as being sometimes "blocked" about achieving certain, seemingly straightforward tasks. Certain "life chores" are stressful even for me to think about and so I put them off. Of course when I finally have to confront them, I find that there was nothing worth being stressed about.
Part of this is inevitably was on energy reserves. I work full time and I am raising my two kids alone.
One thing I've increasingly been struggling with is reconciling one of my most significant needs. Bereavement, it seems to me, is naturally a time when a person is likely to be in need of support from family and friends.
Unfortunately, after my wife died I had to move (job and home) and ended up in a place which, while bringing some advantages, is a place where I knew no one. While I have of course made some friends, a busy social life has not been available to me, in part due to having two young kids to look after.
What feels somehow wrong or unnatural is the absence of any old friends in my life. It's not exactly the case that I've been cut off from everyone who knew me before this move but I almost never see anyone who knew me before the move. It's been really hard for me to have no regular contact with anyone who knew my wife. This is where the occasional "like" or comment on Facebook up just isn't enough. Of course I'm not blaming anyone. The responsibility for seeking support lies with the bereaved person but I have found that hard.
My most regular supporter (phone calls most days) was my Father but sadly he passed away last year. Another bereavement and, selfishly, the loss of my major supporter.
I'd like to know how other bereaved people have gone about soliciting support from friends. I think I need some lessons in that.