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Comment by Dolly on August 8, 2015 at 1:31pm

two more amazing things happened .. a week ago we were on the mountain playing music and I noticed a brilliant swatch of rainbow shining on the wall of the kitchen next to where we were playing.. I traced it to a crystal in the kitchen window over the sink.. the colors were exquisite and some of you know about my history of seeing rainbows after Brandon died.. two FIRE rainbows which I didn't even know existed before I saw TWO on two different occasions the year after Brandon died... I know the kitchen rainbow was the sun shining through the crystal.. BUT that crystal has been lying in that window for probably 30 years and I have NEVER seen a rainbow like this one come through it.. in fact I don't remember ANY rainbows coming from it once it fell from the string it was hanging from... before that when it was hanging, it would send little bits of swirling rainbows around but never anything like this last time... it made me think again of Brandon being there for the music...or IN the music... with all of heaven.... singing an dancing in the trees, sending us rainbows.... does it help? I think it does... I do..

Comment by Rj on August 8, 2015 at 12:52pm

I keep thinking of you Sharon, we are on the exact same road, timewise. How are we going to survive...i feel your heartache today. Our babies arrived to heaven almost the same time. I sure hope they are okay and can help our troubled souls down here.

Comment by Sharon on August 8, 2015 at 12:39pm

I know Rj. I read that the 6 month mark is especially hard. Today is Troy's 6 month mark. We are both at the same stage in our grief. I can't stop thinking about him. Thoughts of him consume me. This is so awful, the pain never goes away. Hugs to you. I hope your day gets better.
Sharon
Troy's mom forever

Comment by Rj on August 8, 2015 at 12:01pm

At work yesterday...i was actually laughing, today i cant stop this sobbing. How can a body survive such ups and downs. I really wish i could go now, just be with him. Such a bad day

Comment by Connie K on August 8, 2015 at 11:30am

There is a teenager on a commercial that from one angle looks EXACTLY like my son, from the clothes he's wearing to his haircut. It gave me chills. I actually stopped the tv and took a picture of it. Oh if only....my heart is longing for the life we once had....my life is so empty without him.

Comment by Rj on August 8, 2015 at 8:17am

It is amazing how much we all have in common. So many young men around 27, who resemble larry,i now notice every day. I just stare and think that should be larry, out and about, enjoying life! Why! Laurie, i was behind a car, he had the same hair cut, glasses and from the back and side , it looked so much like my boy. Needless to say, i was crushed....again.

Comment by Jesse's Mom on August 7, 2015 at 10:23pm

Teresa, agree with everything you wrote approaching year 3. I too search for my son in crowds....when a young man looks like him from the backside my heart just stops...just for a millisecond I want to believe it is him...guess the year of magical thinking has lasted longer for me

Comment by Rj on August 7, 2015 at 7:46pm

So true jill. I am actually hoping to move from ohio to south Carolina in the spring. I know i will slways carry the emptiness but the daily reminders will always be here. I want nothing to do with my house, going to sell it, quit my job and start new. Larry will never pull up in this driveway to visit again. I will be making some big changes

Comment by Jill E on August 7, 2015 at 7:01pm

Sandy-Moving to Arizona has helped in regards of not having to see so many reminders everyday. That was like a knife. Arizona is much more affordable than California so I was able to retire. I don't know if I could have ever gone back to work. We live in a small town just 15 minutes from Sedona.
Moving though has not lessened the pain only made some things easier to handle. Love to you all. WYWH Joshie

Comment by Rj on August 7, 2015 at 1:51pm

Our hearts will never stop bleeding, no matter how much time passes

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