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Comment by Wendy Farling on October 30, 2009 at 7:25am

It's me again, just venting a little today, We had or annual Holloween parade last night and i wanted to do was get the kids out of the house to have a little fun. Well no one wanted to go so i just took me and my 3year old. And he was all right for about the 10 minutes then he wanted to give the candy back and go home. Our local McDonalds was giveing out pop corn balls and he didn't even want to go there. I know everyone is depressed and nothing seem right to them. But if i get anymore depressed im going to scream. Holloween was always fun Scottie loved it and i tryed to remind them of that and he would defently want his brothers to scare the pee right out of someone. Thats what he liked to do scare people. we always tryed to get him back, we were just not as good as he was sneeking up on people. I mean if i can't get my kids through Holloween how in the Hell am i going to get them through thanksgiving , chrismas, his birthday and all the rest. just ventig,, Any advise .. Keeping the faith Wendy

Comment by Kar on October 28, 2009 at 10:21pm

Hi Wendy - Loads of hugs to you !!!
Many Many wonderful people here - who feel your pain and support you !

Comment by Wendy Farling on October 28, 2009 at 7:40am

I thank you, for being here.. I try to talk to my sisters, but i don't think they realy know what to say, I talk about Scottie and they just nod, I tell my childeren that they can still talk to him, i do it every day. He may not be here in person but i believe his spirit is still around us and he knows everything that is going on. I was my friend and medium who directed me to this site, she is wonderful to talk to but as she says no one can know how you feel except for another parent. But that is was hard to come by in the small town that i live in and the support groups are all at least an Hour and half away. Which i have attended a few, but it just did hit home. I cry everday at least once and it does feel better to do that, but when people ask you what is wrong you just want to SMACK them. I have learn not ask my other children what is bothering them and i just huge them when they look down. I just can't get in the mood for the holidays i just don't want to be here. I just want to skip it. again thank you for leasoning.

Comment by Gail Richardson on October 27, 2009 at 5:11pm

Hi everyone and a special hallo to Wendy - I'm so sorry to welcome you to this group - it's one no-one wants to join. But since we are here I have to say that the girls here are a wonderful bunch.
I'm so sorry to learn of your son's passing - you are, like many here, in the earliest stages of this terrible grief journey we have unwillingly found ourselves on.

My name is Gail - my beautiful daughter Meshael died in June 2001 - she was two days off her 15th birthday. And every year we hold a celebration of life party for her - it is a wonderful way to remember her and we usually do a balloon release at dusk which is quite beautiful. It is not crazy to want to celebrate our children's lives - so go ahead and do what you think HE would have wanted you to do.

My love, this is one of the most difficult and complicated and painful situations anyone ever finds themself in. Please feel comfortable enough to write in, rant and rave, cry and scream or when the time is right - smile with us. There will always be an reply - maybe not an answer, we are all still looking for those. More than that know that we all understand. Take care Gail xx

Comment by Laura Villarreal on October 27, 2009 at 2:51pm

Wendy,
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. If having a party feels right for you then I say go for it...we all grieve differently and there is no book of right and wrong. So I say no, it is not crazy and no, you are not losing your mind. However you decide to spend his birthday you have my support and I'm sure the support of many others here. I believe all of us follow our hearts on the best way to honor our children who have passed on.
Let us know how you decide to spend the day. Take care.
Laura

Comment by Wendy Farling on October 27, 2009 at 2:25pm

Hello, I'm new at this, I lost my son in feb. and have been tring cope the best i can, I miss him every day. he past on the 6th and his birthday is the 11th, is it crazy to want to have a birthday party for him? Maybe i finaly am loseing my mind.

Comment by Kar on October 27, 2009 at 12:01pm

Thanks Laura, Nice to feel understood.!!

Comment by Laura Villarreal on October 27, 2009 at 10:40am

Hi Karen,
Vent all you want, I'm with you on this one! We have a very nice, decorative wrought iron gate with a sliding bolt on the inside of our enclosed front porch so if someone walks up to the gate they must put their hand through the bars to manipulate the bolt. We installed this years ago because we had a very large dog that was aggressive to visitors and to make sure that if he got out the front door there was a second barrier to keep him safe and secure. He is no longer with us but the gate is as well as the "Beware of Dog" sign. Do you know how many people will reach through the gate, slide open the bolt, take 3-4 steps to my front door, ring the bell, then run back outside the gate for safety? I then preach/lecture to them about trespassing (what makes them think they have the right to place their hand through the bars and enter my property?) then politely ask them to leave. While I love having visitors I don't appreciate or want unsolicited requests of any kind!
Take care and thanks for sharing.
(((((HUGS)))))
Laura

Comment by Kar on October 27, 2009 at 10:18am

Jaho'va Witness just stopped by- I almost felt bad for them for trying to push their beliefs down my throat. I would not have went out but, my dog was as happy as I was to see them. Yes, I was polite.... But- your barking up the wrong tree sister!

I mean really- I am not saying they aren't good people- But- !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stay on your own freakin property & shut the heck up! Wonder what they would think if I showed up at there place & preached my beliefs at them.
Ahhhhh- sorry needed to vent-----!!!!

Comment by Katherine Ellis on October 19, 2009 at 3:22am

Laura, I hope this finds you feeling a bit better. Grief takes time. A lot of time. My daughter, Irene has been gone 9 years. There are times when I can remember our good times together and it makes me smile. I still have days when it feels like my heart will be ripped out. But it's not like it used to be, feeling it everyday. When I come on this site its like coming home almost. I'm with friends and they know how I am feeling, why I'm feeling it. hugs to all

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