Comment

Comment by Laura Villarreal on December 2, 2009 at 9:44am

Wendy, I applaud you for standing your ground and doing what you thought was best for you and your family! At times I almost feel bullied by family members who think they know what is best for me!

Sherry, I have the fireplace mantle and wall dedicated to my daughter. A wooden box carved with a rose holds her cremains. Pink roses in a pink vase sit on the mantle. My favorite portrait of her hangs over the fireplace mantle. A tress of hair lays across the box and a framed letter describing who received her tissue/bone donations is also there. Her favorite bottle of perfume is there and several momentos of Alaska, where she lived and died, have a special place on the mantle. I also keep a candle lit 24/7. I believe we do these things because they just feel right. It also sounds like your 9 year old is very wise for her age.

Take care, hugs to you and your girls.
Laura

Comment by Sherry Bell on December 2, 2009 at 7:46am

ya i have a 9 year old and 4 yr old that lost there best friend and sister. the 9 year old felt bad cuz she got out and got help that saved my life but couldnt help her little sister. The 4 year old is really confused she thought she was coming back, we convinced her along with time that wasnt gonna happpen. she says she is with jesues and goes to church but says at jesues is the cemetary. i write to katelyne she talks to her and hugs her flowers when we go out there. thay were always together now our family seams so broken. i dedacated a wall n my house to her its called katelyns corner. i will post a pic of what it looks like for an idea i am not sure if it is good for them or bad i do not want the 4 year old to forget her. The 9 year old gets so sad but understands verry well. She is doing better than me she told me one day she wished she had a time machince n i asked her why she said so she could go back and take me out becouse of my injurys. i said and help katelyne 2 hu? she said no god was going to take her that day no matter what. she herself flat lined at 4 days old but thay brought her back.

Comment by Wendy Farling on December 2, 2009 at 7:08am

Sherry, i lost my son on Feb.6, 2009, i talk to him everyday it is the only way i no how to cope, with him not being here. i have four other children who i'm trying help cope to. Everyone told them they had to be strong for me, (what is wrong with people, kids should not have to be strong for anyone).

Laura, your words are so right on the money.

Karen, this year we didn't go anywhere and we made it through the day,
my house was free of the rush, rush, rush, and we all felt better for it.
My family (sisters & Mother) kept trying to get us to go out but , i stood my ground and did what i thought was best for me and my children. and it was good. Didn't even get dressed.

Love ya all,
Wendy

Comment by Sherry Bell on December 1, 2009 at 3:00pm

i hear that alot 2 if thay only knew our strength died with our kids

Comment by Laura Villarreal on December 1, 2009 at 10:32am

I AM NOT STRONG
Laura Villarreal
November 3, 2009


I see the faces of family and friends with expressions that say “how strong she is”.
Nothing could be further from the truth and the reality is this…

Emptiness is what fills my soul; questions to God fill my head.
My heart will not accept that you are gone and I can make no sense of your untimely death.

I have no feelings and do not care but to say this aloud I do not dare.
Being with you is all I want and this cannot happen soon enough.

But once again it’s not up to me so until that time I will continue to grieve.
Breathing is one thing I do very well and everything else can go to hell.

So please don’t think that I am strong because that would be so very wrong.
I am a mother who has lost her child and this has broken me down, made me incomplete.

I was shattered into a million pieces and gathering them up is a hopeless task.
My heart is missing several pieces, cremated with you, and scattered towards heaven.

Life has changed, a new road to travel but the ride is bumpy and I am alone.
No more child to light my way and bring me comfort on a dreary day.

You are dearly loved and words cannot describe the agony that burns inside.
I miss you, Angela, I really do and any strength I had died with you.

Comment by Laura Villarreal on December 1, 2009 at 10:23am

You are very welcome...I see you live in Texas, too. I was born, raised and live in San Antonio.

Comment by Sherry Bell on December 1, 2009 at 10:08am

thank you so much it means alot comeing from someonee in our tragic boat thank you for your supporgt and kind words it means alot.

Comment by Laura Villarreal on December 1, 2009 at 9:32am

Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss. My 33 year old daughter (and only child) was killed on May 25, 2009, so I know your pain. We do not "get over" our loss but instead learn to cope with our loss day to day. I will NEVER stop thinking about my daughter, NEVER stop missing her, NEVER stop loving her and NEVER stop asking God why she was taken so soon. We NEVER expect to bury our children. Some people just don't get it and NEVER will. Like you I just want to die and will just have to wait for that day when I am reunited with her. My daughter's name is Angela and now she is my Angel.
Take care and come back often to let us know how you are doing.
Laura

Comment by Sherry Bell on December 1, 2009 at 8:32am

every morning i wake up wishing my beautiful angle that was only 6 whould come and almost tackle me hugging me and telling me i am the best mommy ever. It has only been since apirl 1 2009. my husbands stupied x told me at some point you have to move on. we could have been friends before that but how do you get over the loss of your hart and soul? I use to love the holidays the look on the kids faces now it seams so empty. she loved the hoildays soooo much i am crying as i write this. I orderd her tombstone i cant even find a word to say about that. Her father never did anything but dissapoint her i left him when she was little becuse he was abusive. I am sure he never even cares 4 days before the tragick wreck she wrote him a letter telling him how mad she was i had to write it for her while she told me what to say. I know you are not suppose to hate people but i do he could have given her the only thing i couldnt. we were moving into my husbands house at the time of her death. he is a wonderful man and step father. i wish it whould not have happend so soon cuz he was going to adopt her. he had to identafie her body the rest of us were hurt. I have a grate friend of my mothers that is in all ways that counts my kids grandmother and my aunt. she couldnt do it she isnt legally family. n can u belive the scum bag that donated the sperm to make my angle is trying to get money from me. i was awarded a settletment like thay put a price on her life i am half tempted to give it tp him its blood money but i can never work again so i have to keep it to live on. the wreck took so much from me in just a miniute. I never got to see her again i was to injured to leave the hospital i acktully didnt leave that place until a month after the funeral. last thing i said 2 her was i love you baby. i never imagend she wouldnt ever be able to say it back or me to her again. i miss her soo much it kills me
my family tip toes around me i hate cars and never leave my house unless i have to. i am only 25 and i know i have many hart braking years ahead of me when she was robbed of everything. only 6 she didnt get the chance to go to a dance have a boyfriend r anything i wonder what it whould be like for her she was so special took so much joy from life. such a wonderful sweet young lady so geniune and kind the best kid anyone could ask for if i had known her life was going to stop after only 6 years i dont know what i whould have done diffrent probley not worry so much about cleaning instead of playing outside with her she truley was perfect. i want to die somedays just to see her again and i have to other but still feal that way

Comment by Katherine Ellis on November 27, 2009 at 4:24pm

Karen, on Thanksgiving day I'm glad you got to do what YOU wanted to do and not let others tell you different. It's been longer for me so the pain is a bit softer now, plus I had to worry about my other 2 children and my grandchildren were here. I didn't invite any of my family to come, just couldn't put up with so many around. Unfortunately Christmas is just around the corner. May we all find the strength to get through that one.

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