Comment

Comment by Karen R. on July 24, 2011 at 12:30pm

Hello Kenny's mom. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. There are no laws or rules for how we should grieve and mourn. I have become estranged from my husband also, 6 months after my son passed away. He is not my son's biological father but they always had a good relationship. We have a child together. He could not handle my grief and mourning. His famous words were "just stop, you have to stop". He had no idea to handle me and he's not the type of person that would have gone to counseling to try to understand what I was going through. It was my decision to leave because I could not give him the attention and affection he had been use to. It's been about 16 months since we have been separated and I must say that in the last 3 months, our relationship is better. I think it's better because we don't live together, so I don't have to hear him telling me to stop all the time. he was being supportive the best way he knew how but it wasn't the right way for me. He would only make me angry and have resentment for him, I don't believe that his intentions were to hurt me, but nevertheless, that's how I took it. I looked at him as being selfish for wanting me to be the way I was before I lost my son.  Some people have a better relationship living apart, he does not want us to be apart and has not stopped trying to convince me to move back.

I hope everything works out for whatever's best for you.

Comment by Karen R. on July 24, 2011 at 12:11pm

Hello Ann. I, too am amazed at the things that other members write. Keep venting!! It's perfectly fine, you see how much I vent lol! I have to on here because it's too diffficult for my family to understand and its too exhausting trying to make them understand. They don't get that my behavior is NOT chosen and that this is 'normal", what ever that is. There are 2 dreaded words for me, "died" and "never"! They are so harsh, I know how you feel. Thank you for wishes for comfort and peace.

Comment by Kenny's mom on July 23, 2011 at 10:29pm

Well, tonight I feel like packing my things and leaving my husband of 30 yrs. He cannot cope with the loss of our only child - our 25 yr old son. We are of no use to each other anymore. He had a meltdown today and I mentioned this tonight to a couple of friends. He figured out that I said something and got furious with me. He doesn't want to show an emotions at all to anyone. It his been almost 16 months and it feels like yesterday. I think our child was the main reason we stayed together all these years and now we have nothing between us. Our precious son is gone forever.

Comment by Bobbi Durbin on July 23, 2011 at 6:47pm

Ann, this is the place to vent!!  We've all lost part of our hearts.  You can bet we will understand.  We're here, always.

Hugs to you, Bobbi

Comment by Sandra LaBonte on July 23, 2011 at 6:30pm

Ann, I just watched your videos. You are right. You can actually feel the love he has for his beautiful daughter.I.m very sorry for your loss.

 

Sandy

Comment by Ammy on July 23, 2011 at 4:33pm

Hi, I am just amazed at some of the things I have been reading that you mom's have written.  I'm so sorry for those of you that have been having problems with significant others, cemeteries, funeral directors, and people that just don't get it.  I don't post often, but try to keep up with the posts.  You all are always in my prayers.  I have had a bad week myself.  July 14th was one year since my/our son left us and I know I have had some good days, but I'm tired.  So tired.  I'm still not sure I'm going to make it through this.  I'm trying so hard for his little girl.  She will be 3 in October and is finally realizing that Daddy is not coming back.  It's so hard when they don't understand.  At this age, how can you explain that they can't come back?  Sometimes I can't even understand it.  I still catch myself thinking that he will do this or that, or that he'll be coming in the door soon.  Then it hits me all over again.  That hateful 'NEVER' word.  I truly have come to hate that word this past year.  He's never coming back, he's never going to call, he's never going to say, 'Ma' again.  And his little girl is never going to feel secure in his arms again.  I put his videos up to commemorate his life and the second one where he's with his daughter just shows how much he loved her.  He always wanted a family, but he was 39 when he finally had a baby.  Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just venting out all my feelings.  Things I say to myself over and over almost everyday.  Wishing you all some comfort, peace, and blessings.  Ann

Comment by Karen R. on July 22, 2011 at 9:40pm

Everyone........I wish I was able to you give a big hug, I think about you all often and all of the other parents out there that have lost their child.  Today I heard my son's voice, loud and clear, say to me 'hi mom". I was laying on my bed, not sleeping and then I heard him, I was ecstatic  but then it quickly turned back into my sadness. Some people would maybe say it was wishful thinking or my imagination, whatever the case, I heard him!

Comment by Karen R. on July 22, 2011 at 9:33pm

Lisa, thank goodness that they finally got it right!.....even though you practically had to stand over them. It would never happen if it was their loved one. I hope that a little of your stress was eased.

Comment by Karen R. on July 22, 2011 at 9:24pm

Melissa, that is horrible, I am so sorry!  If those people are human, I am sure they would not want that for their loved one. That's heartless.

Comment by Karen R. on July 22, 2011 at 9:20pm

Hey Sandra, thanks so much for that info!!!! I had no idea. I had absolutely nothing to do with my son's burial arrangements, I was too much of a wreck. Thank goodness my parents volunteered to meet with the funeral director, they chose the section, plot and casket and flowers for me, I could not do it. Thanks again for that info, now I understand.

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