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Comment by Ammy on August 1, 2011 at 3:31pm

Glad to see you back Karen.  Hope you were able to enjoy a few days away.  

As always...you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

Comment by Karen R. on August 1, 2011 at 2:55pm

Hello everyone, I have been away for a few days and I didnt have access to a computer but all of you guys were in my thoughts. I read all of the postings since I got back and as usual, my heart aches with all of you. Rosie, I feel like you mentioned, it is still so true for me that with each passing day, its only a reminder that my child is not here, where I can hold him or kiss him or even yell at him about something and the pain just lingers. When I am asked how many children do I have, I always include my son, he is my son and will always be my son. I am so devastated.  I am sending out my love and hugs to all, thanks.

Comment by Karen R. on July 31, 2011 at 10:28pm

Hello Bobbi, so sorry. I know about this all seeming so unbelievable. I also talk about my son to whoever will listen. Sorry for your tremdous lost. I will listen any time.

Comment by Bobbi Durbin on July 30, 2011 at 4:11pm

It's been 7 weeks since my son died.  I think I might be getting to the accepting part of all of this.  I'm not sure.  I hope I am.  I talk about him to who ever will listen.  I tell his story of how he died and how he lived.  How we all loved him. I've asked those who knew him to tell me about him.  It has helped, I think.  Some days I just know this is unbelievable and   I wonder why I would think of him as died (I can't bring myself to say the "d..d" word).  Then other days I know he is gone.  It's just all crazy.  Yesterday I was thinking that I should tell him to come home in July next year because all the raspberries are ripe then.  (He loved them!)  But then I realized he wont be here.  I do think it helps to talk about him to who ever will listen.  Maybe they'll get sick of hearing about my Derrick.  But I don't really care....... 

Comment by Lisa Adams on July 28, 2011 at 9:39am

Laura, thank you.  I have a similar goal in that I want to be able to carry on Roxanne's legacy.  I had a friend give me the most wonderful compliment the other day. She said "Roxanne was strong, selfless, giving and brave.  She didn't have those qualities for just no reason, she got those from you! "  I don't feel strong, I don't feel brave, but I know that I am, and I will carry my daughter's light in the world! I have started a foundation called "It's Worth It!"  You can check out the info about it on Facebook.  We are going to provide college scholarships and research grants to deserving students.  We are also going to host a blood drive every year on her birthday.  it helps me get through the pain, to focus on something positive that I can do to keep her legacy going.

Comment by Laura Villarreal on July 28, 2011 at 8:51am

Lisa, it sounds like you did just fine.  When I am asked that question now I tell them "one, but she is no longer of this earth but now a guardian angel to many". If you fall apart that's really okay...we have walked in your shoes and there is nothing written anywhere that tells us how to get through all the sadness and grief. My personal goal is to be able to talk about my daughter with joy and happiness in my heart. I want anyone and everyone to know about her! Take care.

Comment by Lisa Adams on July 28, 2011 at 8:14am

Yesterday was such an odd, akward day. I had my first experience with the dreaded "How many children do you have?" question.  I thought I handeled it pretty well and was pretty proud of myself and then immediately after walking away from the person that asked that, I ran into a neighbor I hadn't seen in many months and she says "How is Roxanne doing? I haven't seen her in awhile."  I didn't do as well with that one.  Finally got out of the store and in the parking lot ran into another old family friend that I had to tell.  By the time I got to my car, I was in tears and feeling like I had just walked through a mine field!

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on July 27, 2011 at 5:19pm

Each day we feel this ache in our hearts.  Each day brings a reminder of who we've lost.  Each day is a battle to survive... my son gives me signs in his own way to let me know he's around.  For that I feel some comfort.  But it's just not the same as hearing his voice, seeing his smile, hearing his music.  The 3rd of the month is around the corner.... it will be 5 months since he passed.  Each month doesn't get easier.  Just reminds me more what I have lost in my life.  God help us all who grieve.  The ache doesn't go away but the sun goes down every night and comes up the next day.  Sigh...

 

Comment by Ammy on July 27, 2011 at 3:23pm

I'm just thinking of you all and sending love and hugs.  Hope you are all okay.

Ann

Comment by Ammy on July 24, 2011 at 1:15pm

Hello Friends,  I pray today will give you a measure of comfort.

Sandra, thank you for the comment on the videos.  I can't always look at them, but some days they give me a measure of peace to at least know he had some happiness in his troubled life.

Thanks also to Bobbi & Karen R..  I appreciate your words of kindness.

 

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