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Comment by Karen R. on October 23, 2011 at 7:55pm

Hi Janice, I too go through phases where i don't want to see or talk to anyone. i couldn't agree more about what you said when people ask us "what triggered It"!!, that sounds crazy to us. I just told someone yesterday that if they NEVER mentioned my son again to me or if I NEVER saw his picture again, I would still be in pain and my heart will still remain broken, I don't need pictures or his name said to me to feel pain. I explained that when my tears are not visible on the outside, they are always flowing on the inside. Thanks for your support and everyone else's. I need you guys!

Comment by Karen R. on October 23, 2011 at 7:47pm

Lisa, Lisa lisa!.....how sweet! What a beautiful thing they did for you and your child, I know it was still hard but there is some comfort....even though it may only be a small amount, for a short time, that they cared enough to do such a gesture.

Comment by Karen R. on October 23, 2011 at 7:42pm

Just wanted to say hello Ammy and thanks for all of your continued support, it means so much.

Comment by Karen R. on October 23, 2011 at 7:41pm

Hi Lisa, so true, so well said......there is no word for a parent that has to, un- volunteerily,  part with their child. Tje pain is unmeasurable.  Many hugs back to you, thanks!

Comment by Ammy on October 23, 2011 at 10:50am

Lisa, what a heartwarming comment.  I'm really happy for you that you were shown that love even though I know how hard it must have been.

And to all of you I have been thinking of you too.  I read the comments, but some times I just have to keep quiet.  I relate to much of everything you all are going through.  I think we all have so many of these emotions and hurts in common.  It's just indescribable at times.  Try to stay strong and try to enjoy what is left in life as often as you can.  I know it's not easy, but we need those things to be able to go on.  Sending my love and cyber hugs to all.  Have a blessed day.

Comment by Lisa Adams on October 22, 2011 at 6:49pm

Last ight was senior night at Roxanne's high school.  Her classmates were so sweet, they dedicated the game to her and invited me to participate. I walked acrossthe field with the other parents and accepted a rose. Then as a surprise, they presented me with Roxanne's senior band medal. So many people in the stands were wearing purple ribbons in her honor and they had signs everywhere. I was so proud and happy that they remembered her,but it was so HARD.

Comment by Stephanie on October 22, 2011 at 4:39pm

hi my dear friends, i am feeling so comforted reading your posts. i know that those who are not in our shoes dont understand - and i know that we would never, G-d forbid, WISH them to understand.  and my mom keeps telling me people MEAN well by things they say, and i'm coming to accept that now.  but if i can share with YOU, my friends who DO understand....  it has been 3 and half years now since i lost my jessy.  i go thru phases.  recently i have been thru a dip, for about 3 months i have just been so overwhelmed in my sadness and missing jessy, i havent wanted to see people.  yesterday i finally faced friends.  they were excited to see me, and asked what happened and they been trying to call me and i dont return calls.  i explained to them that i just been in a low space.  they immediately ask "what TRIGGERED it?"  i dont know how much to stress to them that nothing necessarily "triggers" it, it just happens, and its unpredictable.  and do you know what one woman said to me?  she said, "the thing is janice, that you have 3 other children who need you. of course you'll never forget jessy, but..... "  blah blah blah.  her words faded, i didnt hear anything else.  what do people mean "you'll never forget jessy".  what a STUPID STUPID thing to say, like you said karen, jessy is not a "memory"!!!!!!   G-d, she is my CHILD, she always WILL BE!!  i get so .... grrrrrr!   i regret that i said anything to these people, and i think from now on, i'm just going to say "i'm fine thank you".  and the feelings i really feel, i will share here, with all of you, who understand.  love to you all, janice

Comment by Lisa Adams on October 21, 2011 at 9:20am

It is true that the loss of a child compares to no other pain. In 2006 I lost my father and mother with in six months of each other and then a month after my mother passed, my husband and I divorced. Up until now, I always said that it was the worst year of my life. But Roxanne's illness and death far outmeasure the pain of that year. I told someone awhile back that there was absolutlely NOTHING that anybody could ever do to me that would hurt worse. A woman that loses a husband is called a widow, a child that loses a parent is called an orphan but there is not even a word in the English language for a parent that loses a child becuase there are simply not words that can describe the pain. Hugs to everyone today. Peace

Comment by Karen R. on October 20, 2011 at 8:23pm

Thanks Lorraine, I haven't been on in awhile myself. I watched your son's video multiple times. Sorry I haven't kept in contact. No one's loss is less than another's but how true it is that not many are comparable to losing your child, I only say this because I have heard others say that they experienced the loss of a parent, sibling, spouse, grandparent or close friend but when they lost their child, that pain far outweighed and previous loss......hugs to all

Comment by Lorraine on October 20, 2011 at 8:04pm

Karen, your words are beautiful ~ our children are so much more than a memory... I just love this writing of yours.  I haven't been on in awhile; it was my Sy guy's birthday on October 5th; hard to imagine he would be 33 this year.  I lost him to cancer only 8 months after diagnosis, as some here know.  He was 29 and so excited with life...  4 years ago just days before his birthday he went into the hospital thinking he had a pinched nerve... as it should have been for a 28 year old young man.  But it was cancer that was eating through his bones.  I miss him terribly, there is no worse pain than that of losing a child, I truly believe this.  As horrific as other losses are, this one really eats away at a person's sanity.  I miss my beautiful boy.  So glad you are all here, and so sorry you all need this site.  sending love

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