Missing my Son or Daughter

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Missing my Son  or  Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.

Members: 451
Latest Activity: Nov 3, 2022

Discussion Forum

Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter 467 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Julie McKinney Jan 17, 2022.

STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " 182 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.

Do you ever feel like your pain from the sadness of losing your child, only intensifies as times goes by? 163 Replies

Started by Karen R.. Last reply by Jacqueline Miller-Gartner Mar 17, 2022.

Lost Faith 58 Replies

Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.

The HOW ARE YOU dreaded Question ???? How do you answer??? 49 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.

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Comment by Lisa Adams on November 4, 2011 at 11:49am

hello dear friends. I have been reading your posts all week but have not joined in. My pain this week has been all but unbearable. I am so, so, very tired. How are we supposed to go on through life like this? I am not yet 6 months down the path and I read and see that some of you are years down the road and still enduring this same gut-wrenching pain, so how is there hope for me? I don't want to continue like this but I must. But how can I?  Love and hugs to you all

Comment by Stephanie on November 3, 2011 at 3:09pm
pamela, i LOVED the letter from heaven. am going to print it out, as it was so comforting to me. and ammy, your lyrics are beautiful, profound, deep, and all the emotions we ALL know and share. thank you SO much for sharing with us all, as this is our place we come to, visit, pop in, or spend a long time in, looking for sharing, comfort, friendship and understanding. loving you all always, jan xxxx
Comment by Karen R. on November 2, 2011 at 10:43pm

Hi Ammy, thanks so much for sharing, thanks for everyone's friendship, love and support.

Comment by Ammy on November 2, 2011 at 8:21pm

Hello All and a greeting to our newest friend, Pamela.  Thinking of you all this week, but keeping myself quiet.  I'm afraid I will bring up the roaring storm if I say much, and right now the sea is kind of calm.  A new and welcome feeling.  Trying to hold on to it for as long as I can because I know it won't last.  Had some of these days before and when they end it's like it just happened all over again.

I met a lady on another site and she lost her little boy of 5 back in 1992 and after many years she is writing and singing.  She posted the lyrics to her latest song and I wanted to share them with you all.  At the end is a line she wrote about a line in her song.  

HANG ON - Copyright 2011 by Judy Unger
 
It feels so dark; the sky is gray
Nothing to live for, you cannot pray
You have no hope; is this the end?
Just take my hand; I’ll be your friend

I’ve been there, too - I must explain
Because I’ve suffered I feel your pain
You don’t know how you will survive
You wonder why you’re still alive

Hang on; love is never gone
Though it feels like night
Let love shine a light
One day, the pain will go away
Love will lift you up
Love will always stay
 
You are broken; you need a sign
There’s so much pain and it’s not mine
But without hope crushing your soul
There was no reason and no control

Hang on; strength can be drawn
Though you are numb
Do not succumb
One day, the pain will go away
Love will lift you up
Love will always stay
My wish for you is no more pain
Then just love will remain
Hang on for a day will dawn
Different than before
But you'll smile once more
On that day, your pain has gone away
Love lifted you up
Love will always stay
Hang on. . .

With my lyric line “One day, your pain will go away,” I realize I have no certainty about that. It is only a profound wish, but I believe having hope that the pain will someday go away when someone is suffering, is definitely a start toward feeling better.

I pray that this may have given some comfort to at least one of you.  

As always....in my prayers.

Comment by Stephanie on November 2, 2011 at 2:49pm
that is very special when people really do stop to hold you and console you. there really are very caring people in the world. love always <3
Comment by Karen R. on November 1, 2011 at 10:28pm

Hey Grace and everyone, I still have my moments when I just want to scream and tell everyone and anyone that I was robbed of my son's life! I still get pissed that this world is "going on" without my son! I think to myself ....."how dare they". I previously posted a comment about the day 2 perfect strangers, mothers of course, stopped to console me when they drove by and saw me losing it in front of my son's memorial site where I have his picture and flowers up on a tree. That meant the world to me. They hugged me and cried with me and told me about their children, which whom are all still alive. They offfered to stay with me on the street for as long as I needed. I was fortunate enough to have an act of kindness again recently, at the same site, but this time it wasn't a stranger, it was a young man that was friends with my son, he drove pass me and made a u-turn and came back to console me. He is the same age as my son. When he stood there and held me in his arms....so loving, so caring, I closed my eyes and imagined that he was my son trying to comfort me. He never said a word, he just let me sob and listened to whatever I had to say. It's so important to have your pain acknowledged. It's so true....why do we have to be "strong"! Why is that? I am not strong with all of this, I was severely weakened and now I am just totally broken. The only thing I want is to have my son back!!!!!   Thanks to all

sending big long hugs.

Comment by Stephanie on November 1, 2011 at 7:02pm
Comment by Stephanie on November 1, 2011 at 6:01pm
i still hold that however i try to understand the reasons and the logic and the good intentions behind what people say, that as far as i can control my own emotions, i'd still rather not share it with others anymore. only with those who really can relate. if its not with friends like you all, then its with sheinie, my black labrador - she is so close to me, and has been through everything with me. she knows exactly what is going on. she is amazing
Comment by Stephanie on November 1, 2011 at 5:53pm

i also hear that a lot: "everyone grieves differently". u know what? i think what they really r trying to say, is that you are NOT alone in your grief, the others are ALSO grieving, and even if we think we are alone in our terrible pain, we actually are not. u know what i mean?

however, i fully hear you - and even STILL - it doesnt change that we each have our own needs to help comfort the way WE are grieving. and if what WE need is just to be held, then there's no reason why we cant be held.

Comment by Grace on November 1, 2011 at 9:18am

I think one thing that I hear said as a retorical comment that really ticks me off.... When I say that I feel alone in my grief and I talk to my husband and family that I need support... maybe more hugs....maybe for people to not EXPECT me to be "Strong".... I hear this from my family but also from a Marriage Counselor.....  "Everyone Grieves differently."  I get so MAD!   Here I am telling people that I am Hurting and that I need some love or support and when I hear them say that it makes me feel like Everything I just spilled my guts about was for nothing... It is like hearing...."Oh... You are hurting and you need some support... well too bad girl you are not the only person hurting... buck up and get over it... everyone grieves differently.... why expect them to support you- you big baby".

When I am in the deep pit of dispair... at that moment I need support..... I can not see through my pain to think how strong I should be for others...I feel like I am Drowning and I NEED someone to help me....   When People try to get me to feel better about my husband being disconnected from me by saying that... It really does NOT solve the problem that I feel he has left me to suffer without his comforting hug.   It is as if they retorically say'People Grieve Differently" and that fixes all of my pain... did they Not Hear that I feel Alone, Abandoned, and Empty, and maybe need to feel a Hug or Support from my husband... I know he can not bring our son back ...but I NEED SUPPORT... and I need people to stop Expecting that I should be Strong enough to carry this alone.

Everyone may Grieve Differently.... BUT THIS IS MY GRIEF!  And I am crying out for you to hear MY PAIN.     Thanks for letting me vent..

 

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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My dad was the best human I’ve ever known.
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