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Comment by Lisa Adams on November 4, 2011 at 1:34pm

Janice thanks so much. You have such an eloquent way with words.

@Pamela - I have actually been on this site for quite awhile now.  I just meant that I had been silent for the past weeks, merely following the conversations because I was in too much pain to really express myself rationally.  You and I seem to be about in the same place. My daughter passed on May 24, 2011. So it would be nice to have someone to talk with that is in the same place as me.  I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son.  We were lucky that we survived the tornadoes that swept through and ravaged most of Alabama that horrible day. I am truly sorry that your family was not as fortunate. I work for The Salvation Army and witnessed first hand both the physical and emotional devastation of that day. 

The past week for me has been a huge struggle.  I never thought that Halloween would effect me the way that did. Maybe it's just something that has been building up for awhile. I've tried so hard to put on a happy face and be positive so that others around me are not made uncomfortable. But now the facade is crumbling, I'm too weary to carry it anymore.

Comment by Stephanie on November 4, 2011 at 1:09pm

dearest lisa, let the reading of the pain bring you comfort only in that you are not alone.  it is not the SAME kind of pain a few years down the line. the pain will be with us forever, but the pain itself becomes our very friend. i know it sounds weird but its true. 6 months is still VERY VERY raw, and the pain really is so gut-wrenching, but in time, it changes form, it grows and progresses WITH you, sometimes into tremendous strength in doing something, knowing that your angel is WITH you; sometimes into being an amazing support to people around you who are suffering horrible pain; sometimes wisdom and understanding, and a very deep sense of the world to come; and sometimes it also needs to be just pain, tears, and time for us to still be together as friends, to love and support each other. we will all be okay. our angels are just there before we are, cos we havent completed our jobs yet. we will be together again. lots of love, jan

Comment by Lisa Adams on November 4, 2011 at 11:49am

hello dear friends. I have been reading your posts all week but have not joined in. My pain this week has been all but unbearable. I am so, so, very tired. How are we supposed to go on through life like this? I am not yet 6 months down the path and I read and see that some of you are years down the road and still enduring this same gut-wrenching pain, so how is there hope for me? I don't want to continue like this but I must. But how can I?  Love and hugs to you all

Comment by Stephanie on November 3, 2011 at 3:09pm

pamela, i LOVED the letter from heaven. am going to print it out, as it was so comforting to me. and ammy, your lyrics are beautiful, profound, deep, and all the emotions we ALL know and share. thank you SO much for sharing with us all, as this is our place we come to, visit, pop in, or spend a long time in, looking for sharing, comfort, friendship and understanding. loving you all always, jan xxxx

Comment by Karen R. on November 2, 2011 at 10:43pm

Hi Ammy, thanks so much for sharing, thanks for everyone's friendship, love and support.

Comment by Ammy on November 2, 2011 at 8:21pm

Hello All and a greeting to our newest friend, Pamela.  Thinking of you all this week, but keeping myself quiet.  I'm afraid I will bring up the roaring storm if I say much, and right now the sea is kind of calm.  A new and welcome feeling.  Trying to hold on to it for as long as I can because I know it won't last.  Had some of these days before and when they end it's like it just happened all over again.

I met a lady on another site and she lost her little boy of 5 back in 1992 and after many years she is writing and singing.  She posted the lyrics to her latest song and I wanted to share them with you all.  At the end is a line she wrote about a line in her song.  

HANG ON - Copyright 2011 by Judy Unger   It feels so dark; the sky is gray Nothing to live for, you cannot pray You have no hope; is this the end? Just take my hand; I’ll be your friend I’ve been there, too - I must explain Because I’ve suffered I feel your pain You don’t know how you will survive You wonder why you’re still alive Hang on; love is never gone Though it feels like night Let love shine a light One day, the pain will go away Love will lift you up Love will always stay   You are broken; you need a sign There’s so much pain and it’s not mine But without hope crushing your soul There was no reason and no control Hang on; strength can be drawn Though you are numb Do not succumb One day, the pain will go away Love will lift you up Love will always stay My wish for you is no more pain Then just love will remain Hang on for a day will dawn Different than before But you'll smile once more On that day, your pain has gone away Love lifted you up Love will always stay Hang on. . .

With my lyric line “One day, your pain will go away,” I realize I have no certainty about that. It is only a profound wish, but I believe having hope that the pain will someday go away when someone is suffering, is definitely a start toward feeling better.

I pray that this may have given some comfort to at least one of you.  

As always....in my prayers.

Comment by Stephanie on November 2, 2011 at 2:49pm

that is very special when people really do stop to hold you and console you. there really are very caring people in the world. love always <3

Comment by Karen R. on November 1, 2011 at 10:28pm

Hey Grace and everyone, I still have my moments when I just want to scream and tell everyone and anyone that I was robbed of my son's life! I still get pissed that this world is "going on" without my son! I think to myself ....."how dare they". I previously posted a comment about the day 2 perfect strangers, mothers of course, stopped to console me when they drove by and saw me losing it in front of my son's memorial site where I have his picture and flowers up on a tree. That meant the world to me. They hugged me and cried with me and told me about their children, which whom are all still alive. They offfered to stay with me on the street for as long as I needed. I was fortunate enough to have an act of kindness again recently, at the same site, but this time it wasn't a stranger, it was a young man that was friends with my son, he drove pass me and made a u-turn and came back to console me. He is the same age as my son. When he stood there and held me in his arms....so loving, so caring, I closed my eyes and imagined that he was my son trying to comfort me. He never said a word, he just let me sob and listened to whatever I had to say. It's so important to have your pain acknowledged. It's so true....why do we have to be "strong"! Why is that? I am not strong with all of this, I was severely weakened and now I am just totally broken. The only thing I want is to have my son back!!!!!   Thanks to all

sending big long hugs.

Comment by Stephanie on November 1, 2011 at 7:02pm

Comment by Stephanie on November 1, 2011 at 6:01pm

i still hold that however i try to understand the reasons and the logic and the good intentions behind what people say, that as far as i can control my own emotions, i'd still rather not share it with others anymore. only with those who really can relate. if its not with friends like you all, then its with sheinie, my black labrador - she is so close to me, and has been through everything with me. she knows exactly what is going on. she is amazing

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