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Comment by Connie K on November 10, 2015 at 10:04pm

I have all of those things too. I hate to evens tart the list because it is so overwhelming. I feel like i could just go over the edge any second. Every part of my body hurts, especially my heart. I was literally referred to a cardiologist last week. Wow. It all sucks. But it does help to know we are not alone.

Comment by Jill E on November 10, 2015 at 8:16pm

Sandy-Thank you. I need to hear things from those that are going through the same things I am. It helps me understand that I am not going insane. My lose of words, my mis-speaking, my physical aches, pain, heartache, memory problems even losing my hair-grief. The absolute worse feeling, pain a parent can go through.

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on November 10, 2015 at 6:44pm

Jill the days are hard. We cant talk or think straight. I worry constantly about everything. Hugs to you xo

Comment by Jill E on November 10, 2015 at 6:14pm

Tonight I was trying to remember last Thanksgiving when Josh was with us. I can't remember. And I should have noticed something was wrong. Then I was talking about Josh and I accidentally said Derek's name. It scares me that I did that. I corrected myself but it makes me feel horrible like something could happen to him. I know I over react to everything, I worry so much.

Comment by Jill E on November 10, 2015 at 6:09pm

I hate the holidays

Comment by Jill E on November 5, 2015 at 2:18pm

Thank you, Sandy and everyone. No one understands like all of you here. I so want the holidays to be over. I hate going to the store. I hate when my brain is idle and thoughts turn to my missing my Josh that it makes it hard to breathe and the sobbing that overtakes your whole being.

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on November 5, 2015 at 1:18pm

Oh Teresa, I'm sorry, it is so so hard and just wrong.  Every day is such a struggle to try and cope.

Hey Jill, the year was hard, not as hard as a birthday but still just awful. We went to AZ and my daughter (21) was in CA, she did ok, we talked on the phone and texted all day. I think your son will be ok, the siblings are stronger then us..

Comment by Teresa D. on November 5, 2015 at 8:25am

Sitting here and can't seem to get a grip on things.  I just miss Michael so bad.  After 3 years I thought I was finally learning to manage it yet days like today creep on you and take control. 

I fight everyday to get to a better place and just when I thought I was making progress WHAM I'm sent back to day one. 

God this is hard! 

Comment by Jill E on November 2, 2015 at 12:59pm

My Josh will be gone a year on December 7th. I am scared. Josh's little brother is all the way in San Antonio. I worry about him grieving and is he holding it in because he is worried about me. I can't be there with him now or on the 7th, he will be here with us in Arizona for Thanksgiving and us there for Christmas. It hurts so bad. The thought of him being alone grieving rips my heart out. I don't know what to do. How is he handling the grief. I hate to ask because I will break down and then that would just hurt him so very much. WYWH My Joshie

Comment by Connie K on October 31, 2015 at 12:47pm

Maureen I am so sorry for your loss. Today must be impossible for you. Hugs and prayers to you.

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