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Comment by Kar on December 13, 2011 at 8:51pm

<3  REST IN PEACE WITH YOUR PRECIOUS KASEY SANDRA <3

Comment by Lorraine on December 13, 2011 at 8:07pm

I just read that Sandra LaBonte, a mom here who lost her daughter Kasey, has taken her life.  I am saddened by this news, and wish there was some way to protect one another from suicide after the death of our children.  If there is anyone who is feeling suicidal, please call a hotline, check in with friends here or outside of this group; get help.  I know it is unbearable and place no blame for whatever a parent does after such a deep loss; I just hate to see more grief and loss come out of our own pain.  Take good care my friends

Comment by Dee Davis on December 13, 2011 at 1:25pm

Hi friends,My Jamie has been gone 2yrs. and it still doesn't seem real. The one thing I can say is even tho he is not here with me, I know he is spending his Christmas with Jesus and he is with the others in our family that has gone on, and  with the way this world is going, it won't be long befor God comes bk to take all who believes in him, to heaven with him, THEN I will be with my babyboy again, This is wht helps me keep what sanity I have left. But that doesn't make the holidays easy for me at all I still stay in touch with my grief counsler always. I'm also trying to write a book on his life that all his friends have asked me to do. I'm trying so hard, but when alot of his memories come flooding bk, I have to stop. But if it takes me yrs to get it done, I'm not going to stop.Because other mothers with Cerebral Palsey children should Never give up on them just because some Drs. tell them alot of negative things, to Not believe them.I pushed Jamie all through his life to do his Best at all things, and he did. Hehad just became an ordained minister just befor he died because of a fatal dose of coughsyrup one nite. I can't help but still blame myself for it happening.Cause he was my son and I was suppose to protect him, and I failed.But I know only God knows when we are goi home to him. I feel too that the book wil help keep his memory alive too. I also have DVD's of the churches he preached at, and his sermons on cassette to listen to, and they will go in the bk of his book too for people to see and hear him..  This is making me want to take camcorders pictures of my other two,in case ( God forbid) anything ever happened to them.MMy prayers are for everyone who have lost a child;

Comment by Robin Jone on December 12, 2011 at 9:58pm

Today was a hard day. Thank God for my two youngest daughters, they have done most of the decorating in our home. My husband's birthday is on Wednesday and he does not want to do anything so tonight I did an unofficial birthday dinner and had all the family here to decorate the tree together. We have always decorated the tree together, it has been our tradition. My 5 year old granddaughter tonight was decorating and then her little face feel and she sat down at the table. I asked her what was wrong and she said "a very important person in our family is missing, and it makes me very sad". God this is so hard. I talked to my brother tonight, who lost his son two years ago and he told me it is still so hard for him and his daughter too. It is good that I  have him to turn to,  he knows exactly how I am feeling but so very sad that we have to experience this together. God please help us all get through the coming days, and I pray that we all can find some peace and maybe a little bit of joy with our remaining family members and friends. Robin

Comment by Dick on December 12, 2011 at 8:08pm

No I did not storm out and I did not report it. She just did not know how to respond; but it bothered me and still does. 

Comment by Grace on December 12, 2011 at 7:59pm

Dick and Anna.... I find people just want to skip over the subject... change it... as if they move on to something else... it will take our mind off of our troubles.... I think really it is because in spite of them truely wanting to be supportive.... most of the "Outside" World is just so uncomfortable with our grief.... I have this even in my doctor office.... and not only has this grief been so painful but my marriage has suffered.... this week at my physical I was asked if I was sexually active... (they know I'm Married) and I said No and it was just another check on the list of questions.... and even the same happens when I speak about the death of my son.... strange how you would think a DOCTOR of all people would not be such a stranger to death.  and grief....

Well.... I have experienced this for so long and I have still been so Raw with pain and with seemingly no place to turn to talk and work through it.... that is what brought me to this site..... where we all unfortunately are on a similar path.... and we can share openly without feeling shut off.... or feel the Outside world Squirm with the discomfort of NOT really knowing how to help us.... and let's face it...our nerve endings are so sensitive and Raw when it comes to the response of the outside world.... maybe because we are angry that we are here and they have such a wonderful "Normal" life with happy outcomes for thier children... and why did we not get our Happy outcome?  Here we can't be envious of each other because we all have pain...   I find that I force myself to avoid thinking of dates... when I have anticipated a date Holiday, birthdays... that builds more anxiety than the actual event.  So I try hard to not put any significants to those event.... can I re-state the word TRY.... Because it is still soo hard....

Comment by anna l. on December 12, 2011 at 7:43pm

Oh Dick that would have made me furious!  How dare she giggle!!!!  I am ticked off for you.  As a parent that buried a son I would not be able to accept that no matter what her excuse would have been.  Actually I would have been crying and then walked out so she would never have had a chance to explain to me, but I would have reported her behavior to someone there by phone later.  I hope you are feeling calm about it now and can chalk it up to the stupidity of some people.  They just have no clue!!

 

Comment by Dick on December 12, 2011 at 7:31pm

I had a dental appointment the other day. When I am asked how is my health; I let the healthcare provider know I am grieving for my son. I am sure it has health ramifications. 

But the dental assistant giggled after I told her and said I was the second parent that week. I am not sure if it was nervous giggle or what, but I am still upset over the incident. Bothers me.

Comment by Kar on December 12, 2011 at 7:19pm

Dick,      "  I understand "        I felt that way in 2007 -    and then people kept saying happy new year I hope it is a better one--- but,  as awful as it ended....  most of  2007 I had my son -  I hated leaving that year behind.    and the words Happy New Year- hurt so bad.  

Comment by Dick on December 12, 2011 at 7:15pm

2011 is just about over. It has been the most horrible year of my life; but I don't want it to end. It will seem like I am leaving my son, a part of me behind. I just wish time would stop or roll back to a more pleasant time. :(

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