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Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on January 25, 2012 at 12:18am

I had a real bad day today also Rosie. Anxious. It's hard enough to deal with the pain and sorrow but I hate those days when my mind goes to what my sister calls the "dark side". Visualizing the loss of his body. I miss my son so much. He was my everyday phone call. My biggest fan. Never a day went by that he didn't tell me several times he loved me.

Comment by anna l. on January 24, 2012 at 11:49pm

I honestly dont know if it was a red tail or not but for the first time in 24 years that we have lived in this house in town I saw a hawk hanging around my back yard last year.  I cant remember if I noticed it before we knew Tom was sick or not.  But it was very strange.  I saw it several times just sitting near the top of the big tree in my back yard.  I do remember telling my daughter to not let her little chihuahuas out in the yard by themselves because of him.  Makes me wonder now if it was somehow trying to tell us what was coming.  hummmm.........

 

Comment by Karen R. on January 24, 2012 at 10:59pm

Just saying hello to everyone and sending my sincere love and hugs to all.

Comment by Karen R. on January 24, 2012 at 10:57pm

Wow, red tailed hawks, I didn't know that, i don't think I've ever noticed one, just red robbins, especially on our deck. are these red tailed hawks everywhere?

Comment by Robin Jone on January 24, 2012 at 10:29pm

Having a really hard time tonight, missing Zach so very much. Starting to have feelings of anxiety, overwhelming sadness and just so lost. Rosie, Zach lost his life on the 3rd of September and always when it is getting close to the third of every month I feel like I relive it all over again. I wonder if that feeling ever goes away. Its that feeling of total despair. How can this be that I will never see my precious boy, just to hug him one more time, tell him I love him. God I miss him so much. Robin

Comment by Lorraine on January 24, 2012 at 8:28pm

Rosie, I love the red tailed hawks, they are the "messengers" from the spirit life, so it is told by Native Americans. It is amazing how the date of other months seep into our minds when it is "the day" of our child dying. My son passed over on the 27th of May, and most often the 27th of any month stands out. As for people eating or not eating, that is so common when we are going through this. I lost so much weight the first year, I was down to about 95 lbs.  Then slowly I started to put it back on; first I would choke on the thought of eating anything, I had to force myself.  Then I went to comfort food and gained. Now I go back and forth. I do believe that our children are around after they pass over, and it seems that playing with electricity is one way of letting us know.  Silas has come through in many ways, and it always gives me comfort and makes me smile.  Brenda, I do think that regardless of one's belief's, the loss of a child is like that of no other, and our faith is often shaken or changes. For some it helps, for others not so much. It is very complicated. sending hugs to all

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on January 24, 2012 at 7:19pm

February 3rd is near, it marks 11 months since Sam has gone.  Feelings of loss and tears are always around the corner, waiting to peek and darken my day.  It still doesn't feel real sometimes..... he's gone.  Really gone physically.  I know in spirit he is around us all the time.  I feel that he checks in on me and his dad.  But it's just not the same, him being here....  being able to talk to him and see him.

It's so strange..... life goes on.....  just wish he was still in our daily lives....our daily struggles, good days and bad, happy and sad, holidays, and just plain days of normal.

I haven't seen the red tailed hawk lately.  In my darkest days, sometimes I look out and I see the hawk perched on a tree limb on our neighbor's tree.  I always feel it's a sign from Sam when he shows up.  The hawk always looks so out of place due to its size there perched on the tree branch... but somehow it gives me some comfort every time I see it.

Peace be to you my friends.

Comment by Brenda Ann on January 24, 2012 at 8:37am

Adrianne,

It seems that you as well as many others, have questions about what happens to us when we die.  If you would like to know what the Bible says, please let me know.  What God promises is truly wonderful and I would love to share some encouraging scriptures with you.

Brenda

support@grief-and-comfort.com

www.grief-and-comfort.com

mawmaw1591@gmail.com

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on January 24, 2012 at 1:00am

I think it's more than possible. I have studied the afterlife more than I have ever since my son passed. I also believe most of what we don't understand is within the bible. Though I have been struggling with my faith since my son passed, it is hard to believe this is all there is.

Comment by Karen R. on January 23, 2012 at 10:08pm

Hey Robin and everyone, I had a similiar incident involving a night light. I was laying in bed and as usual, my mind was reflecting on my son. The night lite had been off and it wasn't one of those that have a sensor to come on when it's dark, you have to actually slide the switch. Anyway, I was talking to my son and teeling him that I will never accept what happened and how much I am yearning for him and the nite lite came on. I called my son's name and 2 my amazement, it went off! My little one was laying in the bed with me and witnessed the whole thing. She was so excited, she said that was definately her big brother. The comfort it brought me was short lived.  Most would say that it wasn't my son, just some sought of fluke with the nite lite but I need to believe that it was my son. I often beg him to show me that he is with me but he hasn't in such a long time, at least not that i'm not aware of. I need the reassurance from him that he is 'ok' and when I don't get it, it's like I convince myself that he is not "OK" and I sink further into my hole of despair. My mind wonders if he his sad and angry that he was robbed of his young life. I wonder if he is afraid. I want him here with me and all the rest of his loved ones.

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