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Comment by Rj on November 29, 2015 at 12:25pm

Sorry....i meant to address Teresa

Comment by Rj on November 29, 2015 at 12:24pm

Jill....i have left larrys shoes, only 2 pair in a box downstairs, his bedroom furniture still in my garage, along with other items from his apartment but i will sit downstairs and smell the shoes and go out to smell the inside of the dresser drawers....i never want to lose his scent, i know in time the scent will fade but for now i will continue to do so.

Comment by Teresa D. on November 29, 2015 at 11:56am

Connie thank you for sharing your song with us again.  It is absolutely beautiful. 

Things are hard.  To some it is just a bracelet but to you it's your son.

I just did the same thing Connie. Michael lived on his own so I had to make fast choices because I couldn't bring his apartment home with me.  What I did bring home I put away as if he was coming back to get them.  His jackets hung in the coat closet, his shirts in my closet and etc....  Just recently I gathered everything and went through it again.  I couldn't pull myself to part with any of it so I packed it up leaving some items where they were.  His work boots are on my dresser will they will stay.  As crazy as it sounds I need to smell them now and then. 

Everything for me is a process now. 

Comment by Connie K on November 28, 2015 at 5:18pm

Jill I guess I didn't realize that we lost our sons on Dec.1 The first year is so crazy hard. I am so sorry you lost the bracelet. First of all, it may turn up. I have had similar experiences where I lost or broke something very meaningful to me. I wore one of Daniel's rubber bracelets everyday for the first year. One day it broke. I cried and cried. I decided to put it around a beautiful bottle on my dresser so I can see it all the time still. Maybe you can do something like that with yours. Or wear it if it makes you feel close to him. Little by little I have been able to part with things. The most important thing you can never lose - the love you two have for each other. I will light  a candle for Josh on Tuesday. And if you ask me, it was Josh telling you that he's ok. he still lives on in a different form. I have to believe that. And you're right, crying sucks, it all sucks.

Hugs to you. And everyone here.

Comment by Jill E on November 28, 2015 at 4:18pm

Excuse me if any words offend. I did soften them to post here.

Crying sucks. It makes you feel like crap, look like crap and doesn't change anything. The problem with tears as they come too easily, last too long and become uncontrollable.
That is my life.

Comment by Jill E on November 28, 2015 at 4:14pm

I am so glad Thanksgiving is over.
Today I noticed that I am missing one of the bracelets I made almost a year ago with Josh's birthstone. peridot. I am crushed I have worried this would happen. I don't know what to do. It will be a year on December 1st since I lost him. I made 2 bracelets. One is gone. I want/need to believe it is a sign from Josh that he is ok, that I don't have to worry about him every moment of everyday. My other problem is my brain is playing tricks on me. Did I only think I made 2 but didn't. My mind does this all the time.
You are the only ones that understand. Now do I take off this one bracelet I have so it doesn't break and put it away??? I feel like I have lost another part of him.

Comment by Connie K on November 28, 2015 at 3:53pm

Well let's try this again. Here's the link (I think!!)

https://youtu.be/khcnWtqCuCc

Comment by Connie K on November 28, 2015 at 1:53pm

sorry - I messed something up and had to remove the video from Youtube. I will post a new link later. Hugs to everyone

Comment by Connie K on November 28, 2015 at 1:30pm

Hello my friends. Daniel passed on Dec.1 but me me is is always that Saturday. So this is a tough day for me. But I wanted share the video of the song I wrote for Daniel, Whispers of the Angels, that I shared with you before. It incorporates videos he made with his emazing light gloves to Electronic Dance Music. He was so creative and talented. I felt he wrote the song with me and wanted to share some of his creative work as well. At some points you can see his face come through the light show.

Here's the Youtube link: https://youtu.be/IgxQhNF89yc

Comment by Vasanthi S on November 26, 2015 at 7:11pm

Nadin, am withyou in this awful time, impossible to go through yet thats what is to be done. Connie,  Mary Chris, Teresa, Michelle, Dolly and all my dearest friends, am with you .... always... its so damn painfu' and I am rt now in Eugene for a Vedanta retreat.... it helps to just get away.... I had a thought this afternoon that we are all in so much pain, but "I do not enjoy tbis pain, ssso I will get on top of the pain and wont let it get on top of me" by that I mean we will overcome this at any cost....like Connie said, we have been blessed with our precious darlings and that blessing continues, maybe the greatest gift our children have blessed us with in this  journey of life is thatthrough all this would be that we find ourselves ....?

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