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Comment by Ammy on February 14, 2012 at 5:48pm

Hello to all, I have stayed away for awhile as I am dealing with some personal things and I can't even think straight, but that is now 'normal' for me anyhow.  I have read the posts and just seem to be able to relate to everyone's feelings.  Do you all feel that way too?  Or is it just me?  You all are in my thoughts and prayers each day.

Adrianne, I am thinking of you and Don.  I hope today was not too bad.

Take care all.  I send you all my love.

Comment by Dick on February 14, 2012 at 5:36pm

I just realized it has been 6 months since Danny passed. :( Time just flowing.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on February 14, 2012 at 3:17am

Happy Birthday my funny valentine. I miss your silly ways. Your beautiful face. You are the best valentine I ever received. How fitting your special birthday. My boy with the most loving heart. I love you.
Mom

Comment by Dick on February 13, 2012 at 11:52pm

I should have intervened.

Comment by Dick on February 13, 2012 at 11:52pm

If you look at his pictures and video he looks gaunt, I never noticed it before.

Comment by Dick on February 13, 2012 at 11:50pm

He painted and remodeled his grandmothers bath last summer. Mom told me Sunday he would calorie restrict in some odd ways and eat raw eggs.She thinks he may have caused a electrolyte imbalance with his diet. I just do not know, I just thought he was a health nut.

Comment by Dick on February 13, 2012 at 11:44pm

You want to know my real guilt?

Danny wanted to go to New York and work as a model. I told him to stay and finish his college degree, he listened to me. When he finished he could not find a job, he looked very hard. Instead of working, he exercised very hard...25 mile/day run, weights, diver training every day. I think he pushed himself too hard and caused a heart attack.  I now regret not letting him go to New York to persue his dream. Maybe life would be completely different, this is my heavy burden to bear.

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on February 13, 2012 at 10:51pm

Adrianne, a big hug to you for tomorrow.  It will be a tough day and please know that your friends here on this site will be thinking of you. 

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on February 13, 2012 at 10:46pm

Hi Dick, don't give up on a grief counselor.  You have to find one you can connect with.  I was fortunate enough to find one that has helped me.  For the first 3 months or so, I was seeing her 1x a week.  Now I see her 2x a month.  She listens with no judgement and has given me many good advice.  For example, in one of my sessions where I was crying and telling her some things I felt so guilty about when Sam was growing up, she told me to not look at it as guilt but regrets.  This helped me when sometimes I relived the past and feel like I could have done more for my son.  She helped me look at each situation from a different view point.  Each grief counselor is different and works differently.  You just have to find one you feel comfortable with.   I hope you find some peace.  Hugs to you all.

Comment by Dick on February 13, 2012 at 10:16pm

I think a lot of my stress is my legacy will not carrying on. I hope my only son will have children soon. I think that would relieve some of my stress.

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