Comment

Comment by Dick on February 20, 2012 at 1:45pm

Adrianne, yes & yes. they just put on the death certificate heart attack.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on February 20, 2012 at 1:37pm

Dick
Did the hospital give you indication of this? Was an autopsy performed?

Comment by Dick on February 20, 2012 at 12:21pm

Well, I think I have the answer to Danny's death explained in laymans terms.

http://www.drhotze.com/exercise-that-could-kill-you/

Comment by Grace on February 20, 2012 at 5:20am

Sorry to everyone that has been having some difficult days... Karen... I don't think even close family has been there for most holidays and his birthday has always been passed over.  My son had Autism and was almost rejected from most of my family even while he was alive.... I haven't expected anything from anyone... that is why it is so good to have this group to vent to.   My marriage has been in a deep depression for years and the death of my Niles has almost killed it totally. It seems as no one can understand that I am not wonder woman and I really need someone to prop me up and support me instead of assuming that I am Strong Enough for even this tital wave.   I think I have built walls to protect myself from these people who just do not understand this loss and devestation.  I do not expect anyone else to understand how we feel.... we really did not either until we were thrown into this pit.    PEACE

Comment by Karen R. on February 20, 2012 at 12:44am

Thanks so much Rosie for your continued support.

Adrianne, I am sure that your Valentine's day will never be the same again, I am truly sorry. This is all just so hard.

Everyone, well I survived.......barely.  My son's birthday came and left. Sadly, I didn't find much comfort. My heart was further broken because more than half the people I expected did not come by : (   . I wept long and hard, I was so disappointed, not one of his friends came!!! Only a few close family members came. This hurts so bad, it's like they forgot about my son, I feel like they are all fake. His birthday and his life is not a priority to them I guess. He's just a memory to them!!!!!  My daughter tried to comfort me by saying that the few that came, is what matters and how we didnt need anyone to come.  I just feel devastated because many more came over for his last birthday. I don't know how I will react when I run into them. It's like I am angry and sad, all rolled up into one. I feel like,  how could they do this to their friend?! I am worried that this is how it will be from now on.  Hopefully I'll be back on soon, I have an excruciating headache, good night.

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on February 19, 2012 at 3:27pm

Hugs to you Karen,  on such a difficult day.  It will be good to see some of your son's dear friends and your family to honor his birthday.  Hope you find some peace today and feel his presence at the gathering. 

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on February 19, 2012 at 12:17am

Dick
I have never been able to relate to anyone I had met that lost their child. I felt sadness and horrific fear knowing it wasn't something I could endure. Yes, so many have. I don't understand.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on February 19, 2012 at 12:10am

Robin
It seems impossible that as parents we couldn't have saved our children. I guess somewhere along the growing up years I got that I wasn't his protector like I was when I could still make him hold my hand and look both ways before crossing the street. I just wasn't prepared to let go this way. I don't think any of us were. I hurt for you and all the others too.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on February 18, 2012 at 11:58pm

Karen,
My sons birthday was Valentines day. It was so hard. I'm sorry. It is so hard to get through everyday let alone any celebration. I barely lost him and it was Christmas. Then his birthday. I wanted to have a special birthday parry for him. To celebrate the fact that he survived his life threatening surgery. But then he lost the battle. I scream too. I hate the roller coaster ride of emotions. Some days I feel sort of numb. Some days the thought of his body being destroyed moves me to a horrific fear and anxiety. Some days I feel guilty. This isn't what I thought my life would be about.

Comment by Karen R. on February 18, 2012 at 7:25pm

Hello to all, I am in such a low place.......more than usual. Tomorrow is my son's birthday. I will celebrate is life with a few family and friends. The hardest thing for me during his last birthday was was lighting all of the candles, knowing that he wouldn't be able to blow them out. Instead, my youngest child had the honor. I am so overwhelmed with my tears and heartache. I don't think I will light candles tomorrow, but hey, that could change in an instant. All day I've had to fight to control my urge to scream, I just want to scream soooooo bad. I usually don't refrain from screaming when I want, which I usually reserve for when I'm riding in my car alone but I am afraid that if I let loose I may end up in the hospital tonight. I am so angry, my son has not gotten any justice yet, his case is still open and I hold onto the thought that they will be held accountable for their cowardly actions. 

My son would have been going out tonight with his friends and close cousins to celebrate his upcoming birthday tomorrow. He loved to go out, he loved his life. I have so much anxiety over who will stop by tomorrow, who will remember, who has forgotten, who will tell me a funny story that i knew nothing about?  My son will ALWAYS be my son, my baby. He is not a figment of my imagination, I carried him in my womb, I gave birth to him, I watched him grow until he was taken away from me, I love him so much. This tragedy has left such a bad taste in my mouth......I want my son back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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