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Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on February 24, 2012 at 5:17pm

Karen
My son called and text me everyday. I still send him text messages too. Today I listened to his voice. That really messes me up but I need to every once in awhile. As a matter of fact would anyone know how I can preserve his messages that are saved on my phone? I'm so afraid of losing them.

Comment by Karen R. on February 23, 2012 at 7:56pm

Hey Adrianne, I agree with what Lisa said' even though sometimes it's a lot easier said than done. Sometimes ............ many times, just to get through the day, I convince myself that my son is away on vacation and he has been to busy to call me. I still send my son text messages and I must admit that I do check to see if he texted me back. I still have more bad days than "good" days. That's just how my life is.              Hugs to all!

Comment by Lisa Adams on February 22, 2012 at 3:54pm

{{hugs}} Adrianne! Just remember, one step, one breath, one minute at a time.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on February 22, 2012 at 3:51pm

Really bad day. Too painful.

Comment by Karen R. on February 22, 2012 at 11:19am

Many thanks to all for your support relating to my extreme disappointment on my son's birthday. Having others understand really does help, makes me feel not so alone..........unfortunately.

I wish I had the magic formula to get rid of all pain and suffering so that we could all enjoy life. Many hugs.

Comment by Lisa Adams on February 22, 2012 at 10:13am

A random thought came to me last night: I am not just grieving the loss of my precious daughter, I am also grieving the loss of my identity.  For 23 years, I was "mommy" and while I do still have my son, he is many miles away, living his own life. As a hard working single mom, I had little time in life for anything but my children. Now I feel lost and adrift.  I have tried to connect with old friends and make new ones but it doesn't seem to be working too well. Anybody understand what I am talking about?

Comment by Robin Jone on February 21, 2012 at 2:56pm

It sounds like many of us have been having hard days. My granddaugther and oldest daughters birthdays were last week and my son, Zach's absence was definitely missed. It was so hard because its not only my husband and I missing Zach, but watching your other children and grandchildren hurting too is so very hard. Karen, I am so sorry that you were disappointed on the absence of so many for your son's birthday, that must have hurt so badly. Though it is almost close to six months since we lost Zach, it is so hard already watching others move on. I know that that is what they should do, and that is what Zach would want, but sometimes I get so angry I could scream. I just don't want anyone to ever forget him, he was a one of a kind! So sorry we are all hurting, one day at a time. Big hugs. Robin

Comment by Stephanie on February 21, 2012 at 6:17am

thank you rosie, my hearts love to you on your difficult day. we are here to carry each other through these very very hard times. think of us - we'll all be with you. thank you for your caring, love steph xxx

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on February 20, 2012 at 4:41pm

Karen, I'm sorry about your birthday gathering.  My son's one year is on March 3rd.  I'm doing another gathering at my house with family, friends and friends of Sam's.  I think this will be the last big gathering I'll host.  I'm afraid that on my son's next birthday and 2nd memorial anniversary will be a different turn out similar to what you experienced yesterday.  My heart will break too if this happens.  I figure for this next birthday and 2nd anniversary in 2013, I will only do for my immediate family.  If any of his friends ask to come over than I will let them know they're welcome. 

It's that stark reality that hits all of us, where the world turns, people move on, people keep going, especially the teenagers once they graduate and start college, their lives will move on.  I just hope that with some of them, they remember and will always have a special place for Sam in their hearts always.  So sad this feeling.

Lately with Sam's one year around the corner, I've been having flashbacks on that day he died.  I know this is normal feeling that happens to all of us.  Just a hard day today for me too.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on February 20, 2012 at 4:30pm

Stephanie, so sorry to hear.... please know you are not alone.  Some days are a little better than others, we're a little stronger....  but also know that some days will be trying what little strength we have, it will test our sanity.... test our broken hearts and broken dreams. Just know you're not alone.  We're battling our demons one day at a time. Hugs to you.

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