Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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Aw, Anne, your comment about love being everything made me cry a bit. It is so true, and I do wish that the knowing were enough. Still, most days it is not. I try so hard to remember that place of knowing how powerful love is; the last days of Sy's life when I could actually feel the love vibrate between us like a fine gold silk thread. So light and beautiful, and yet so strong... I am heartsick, honestly. I will never stop missing my lovely Silas River. Such a strong young man, who taught me so very much. SEnding love to friends here
I will always miss the boys, always. If I thought for one moment that I could hold them in my arms again I would do anything. I would go trough all of it over again just for one more hug. Dont get me wrong I yearn for their touch everyday. I think of them every day sometimes all day, but I cant change whats already happened, but I do hold onto the thought that one day when and if I go to heaven I will hold them again. I have to believe that or I could not survive.
To all who are hurting, I too am a mother of 2 sons gone to heaven, and I've been doing this thing called greif a long time. Nothing will ever stop the tears when they need to come. Your heart will always be broken. But I believe that even though I as a vessel am cracked and leaky my life is important. the death of a child will never and I mean never be easy nor can I ever understand why. I do however believe that I am still here for many reasons. The most important reason to honor their lives and to work to rebuild mine because love never dies. Love is everything and death can never take that from me unless I allow it to. I am the master of my vessel, and only I can decide how and when I grieve. I have learned over time that the pain of it all is so severe at times that I can hardly breathe even after all these years, but me and only me has the right to decide whats the best way to handle it and for how long. Nothing can ever stop me from loving Ben, and Del. They were and always will be a big part of my life. So to all of you I say do what feels right to you. Honor your child the way you see fit and never stop loving, for love helps fill the cracks and leaks. I will never be a whole vessel again but I am stronger and wiser because of the all the cracks and leaks. To my sons in heaven, dont worry about your mama for because of you I am a better person and I will never allow anyone or anything t stop me from loving the same way I have loved and will always love you.
Adrianne,
I am not a professional so I have no idea if it will work for you. I have just set aside a portion of my day to grieve, cry, pray, rant or whatever I need to do. I do it intently and don't let other issues interfere. I am still sad for my loss, but it does not seem to follow me all day by my knowing I have a time and place. I wish I could have my son back, but I know that is only a wish and I have to power through my life without Danny now. For myself, I have found a way to keep the sadness at bay for the greater part of my life. My heart is still broken.
MY heart goes out to the families I hear about on the news that lose kids..... like the OHIO families that lost 3 from the shooting... and my heart goes out to the family of the shooter too.... what a terrible day for all to survive.... and now 3 more families could be ready to sign in to this group, How sad.... to have to Welcome another broken heart..... so sorry we all have to be here..... but also Grateful for a place to come share our sorrow..... where we all really can understand how broken we are.
I have become more attentive when I hear these stories about loss.....
Hi Toni, just read your message, and I completely understand Your Feelings. My son Matt, left for heaven due to a car crash on June 28, 2006.(He was 26)..I totally shut down...oh,eventually I went through the motions of life and I think most people thought that I was doing OK butI wasnt'...But most of my problem was an anger with GOD...I am a Christian, and I just could not believe THE LORD would allow this to happen...but HE didn't...HE is not the author of death...HE LOVES US...Finally, I have allowed THE LORD to heal my spirit of grief...I think there is a difference between healthy grieving, and having a spirit of grief on you that will not go away....It is still so raw and fresh for you, just give it some more time. But I can tell You JESUS can heal You! Of course I still miss Matt, but when I think of Him or have a memory of Him, it makes me feel good, not bad...I will pray that the Lord will begin HIS healing in You today....He wants to, just let him.....Blessings, Patti (Matt's Mom)
Hugs to all.
Hello dear Lisa. I so appreciate your encouraging words that you shared with Angela. I can only hope that I too will one day, truly feel that my son is ok. I really need to believe that. I guess I just haven't been able to say that this is my son's new reality because that would have to also be my reality and I don't want that.
Thanks again.......many hugs!
Hey Toni, I just read your message to all members and let me say I cry with you. I know your pain all too well. I can relate to what you said about time only making things worse, NOT "better". I must have said that a thousand times. My 21 yr old son was robbed of his young life almost 2 1/2 yrs ago and my pain and my anger has not eased 1 bit. He was riding his friend's motorcycle when he was chased and rammed into another vehicle. He survived in ICU for 1 week before he passed away. Just saying, writing, typing or even thinking those words "my son passed away", still blows my mind and seems so unreal. I will NEVER accept this........how could I? It will never be "OK", as people would like me to believe. This is a tortuous pain, and I have more bad days than good......whatever good is. I don't know how I have survived this long and I am sorry that I don't have any encouraging words, except, keep writing on this site or others like it, because it means a lot to have your feelings validated and not judged by others that sincerely but unfortunately understand. I will forever be broken. Sending many hugs to you!
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