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Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on March 14, 2012 at 1:23am

My other children are adult females. Busy with their lives. My son needed me and had no children so I spent more time with him. I'm not so sure I'm just not a burden with my grief for the girls. My family feels wrong now. Two girls. No older brother. No son. It's just so sad.

Comment by Karen R. on March 13, 2012 at 11:23pm

Hey Steph, I wish I had the remedy to fix all of this, for I would surely share it. This is unfair to our other children but I have learned to "fake" it or hold it back for them when I find the strength, when my grief is at it's peak.

Comment by Karen R. on March 13, 2012 at 11:18pm

Dear sweet Anne, thank you so much for all of your concern and encouragement. Deep down, I do know that all of you guys are here for me, we are here for each other. I never turn down any hugs so thanks : )

Comment by anne on March 13, 2012 at 2:07pm

Dear Karen I wish I could just hold you in my arms and comfort you. 2 1/2 years is really not a very long time. so you hang in there. We are all here for you. Somedays the time goes fast and other days it feels like forever. Thats why I just take them one at a time. It's been difficult since I've been so sick lately. I will sally forth and carry on! I hope today brings all of you a little peace and lots of love.

Comment by Stephanie on March 13, 2012 at 3:23am

yeah, it really does suck!  how so very much i want to do so many fun things with my other kids, and even PLAN them, but as the time nears, anxiety and pain grips me, and when the time arrives i am gripped with irritability, or migraine, or sleepiness, and i feel terrible, but its so uncontrollable and unpredictable. i feel guilty for them, and angry and frustrated with the situation, this is such a battle.

Comment by Karen R. on March 13, 2012 at 12:14am

Aaaaawh, Steph and everyone, this is all so sad! What an ugly part of life is this!!  I use to be so happy, even when my son use to drive me nuts sometimes........boy, what I would give to have him drive me nuts again! Those things just seem so petty now. I just feel like I'm suffering, I can't fix it and it pisses me off!!! I can't make it all "better", I can't make it have any sense! What could be "GOOD" about any of us or any other parent, losing their child. If the cycle of life must go on, then let it go on by letting children bury their parents at a ripe old age like 100yrs+.......wouldn't that be perfect, I guess that will never be a reality. It's 2 1/2 yrs and my day of peace has  NOT come. I don't choose to be this way, I am just existing like this. I push myself for my other children, trust me, it's very hard. It's an emotional battle daily, just for me not to drive myself to get admitted somewhere. I think how would that effect my other children, especially my youngest one......this sucks!

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on March 12, 2012 at 11:36pm

Mine too Stephanie. Mine too.

Comment by Stephanie on March 12, 2012 at 7:07pm

my insides are ripping still, tearing, hurting beyond what i can bear. i HAVE to carry on doing the best for my 3 other children, and husband.  but whatever i have to do is like physical torture, the pain is so bad.  i want to feel alive and energetic, but its like my guts is being ripped. all the time. all the time.

Comment by Stephanie on March 12, 2012 at 6:56pm

lisa, i just watched your recent video posted - its absolutely beautiful. my  thoughts will be with you on 1st april, its just so so so hard, i know.  and on 24th april is my daughter's fourth angel date. i am in a very bad way. this pain is debilitating. all my love to you, steph xx

Comment by Karen R. on March 11, 2012 at 11:03pm

Hey everyone, just saying hello and sending some hugs. My spirit is so uneasy, I guess a little more than usual. 

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