Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
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Latest Activity: Feb 24
Started by Kar. Last reply by Julie McKinney Jan 17, 2022.
Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
Started by Karen R.. Last reply by Jacqueline Miller-Gartner Mar 17, 2022.
Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.
Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
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Yes ladies... I too have the time counting thing... Somedays I think I have too much windshield time at my driving job..... seems like every little thing makes me think of Niles and it will be 3 years Memorial Day Weekend..... I see little kid clothes of anything at the stores that I used to shop for him items.... I look at kids in his age group.. so many things that bring him to my brain. And I understand those of you who can't seem to share this with friends anymore..... everyone wants us to be "Over it" Or they want to take our mind off the child.... we all see how they just don't know how to comfort us... so we keep quiet because we think we are such downer's on our friendships. I am still in disbelief that I really am a mother who lost my child... my baby.... my center....
yes karen, i feel so much the same as you. when becky passed, i almost "HELD ONTO" that moment of time, coz i didnt want it to be true. Time became almost like and ENEMY! becoz as long as could say she passed an hour ago, or 2 days ago, or even 3 weeks ago, something about that meant that time was sort of standing still. when it became 2 YEARS, i hated hated hated saying those words, becoz the longer she's been gone, the worse it seems that the world is going on whether she is here or not. and i hate that because it is so so so painful. on 24 april next month, will be 4 YEARS! it is so unfair, it is just so so unfair. i wish you guys could watch some videos of her with me and cry with me. i really so badly have that need, but who else would understand!
anne, as hard as this is for you, i am very proud of you, that you are being "gentle" with yourself. your comments, like it is what it is, or when the time is right, etc, shows that you are being accepting of the way YOU feel, and that is a very positive step to take. and i know we all agree with you 100%. as you are ready, so be it. this is something more painful than anything in the world. and probably the only way to deal with the pain is to be gentle with ourselves.
Does anyone else ever feel like me? It is so difficult for me to say, write, type or even imagine how long it's been since my son passed away/crossed over. I think acknowledging the period of time that he has been gone, only fuels my anger and sadness because I don't want any of this to be real. For me, it's like saying he passed away/crossed over, means it really happened and I can't fix it. I feel like my mind and body are still in shock. My son passed away 2 1/2 yrs ago..........whew!!!! I can't believe that my son has been placed in his final resting place!!! Somebody help me!!!!! My heart is pounding as I write this. How can time possibly ease my pain?!! How, when each passing day reminds me that the world is going on without my son. I can't talk to any of my close friends or family about my feelings. I was asked if I would ever move out of state like I once wanted to but now, the answer is a big fat NO!! How could I ever leave my baby here, who would take care of his final resting place and his memorial site at the intersection where this tragedy began like I do, no one cares enough.
Agree, so glad you're doing ok Dick. Hugs to everyone. Have been struggling this week and it's only Monday. Missing you Sam so much today. Hope next week will be better.
Hey Dick, relieved to learn that you are "ok", you know what I mean. I was really worried about you. I know how hard it is counting the months that go by. I remember when I counted the hours, days, weeks after my son passed away and now to my disbelief, it has turned to years! It still feels like hours ago.
Today I went to the farm. I abandoned it when Ben died. It looks terrible. I feel very bad that I have left it alone for so long. It needs lots of work to get it livable again. I couldnt bear the thought of being there anymore so I bought a house in town and I just left the farm. All of the pictures, and all of the things we used to be, just sitting there. At first I cried when I walked in the door and then all the memories of life the way it used to be just came flooding in. I went down the basement jwhere the boys room used to be, and all of Bens army stuff was just laying there on the bed. I couldnt breathe. For a moment I couldnt move. I decided It was time to take one room at a time and give myself time to get through this project. I have doone this so many times before and I never get to the part where I get things cleaned up and gone through. I guess it is what it is. I did stay out there longer than I have before so thats a good start. It dosnt matter how long our children that have died are gone. When I come across all of their things for a little while I go back to when the worst thing thats ever happened is my daughters prize winning cow got into the pig feed and died. That was awful and tragic, but the death of my child was just unimagineable. Life was so innoccent then. My heart was so innoccent then. Overwhelming terribly overwhelming. All of it gets so overwhelming. I was thinking about how deep Ive had to dig within myself. Not by choice for sure. Sometimes I thought I would suffocate. That how I feel when I go to the farm. I guess its time to fight a battle ive been putting off for a long time. Im going to give a good try and if I cant well then I guess it will just have to wait until the time is right.
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