Comment

Comment by Grace on March 24, 2012 at 7:55pm

I hear you Stephanie...

 

Comment by Stephanie on March 24, 2012 at 4:59pm

when my 12 year old becky passed - she was always in a wheelchair - the most special soul, full of life and love and, well, you just cant believe - Anyway, when she passed, more than one person said, "in a way, isn't a bit of a relief?"  A RELIEF?  A FRIGGIN RELIEF??  THAT MY CHILD IS DEAD?  F-CKIN ASSHOLES!  NO, IF MY CHILD HAD BEEN BORN HEALTHY, AND NEVER SUFFERED AT ALL, AND WAS STILL LIVING A GOOD AND NORMAL LIFE, THAT WOULD BE A RELIEF?  THAT SHE WAS DISABLED AND IS NOW DEAD? NO DEAR, IT IS NO RELIEF WHATSOEVER??!!!  i mean...  what are people THINKING when they say such things!!!!   sorry ... thanks for letting me vent. thats been sitting heavy in my heart for a long time.  u might hear more of it.

 

Comment by Stephanie on March 24, 2012 at 4:55pm

Grace u are so right, it is indescribably painful.  And Anne, thank you, what a very sensitive thing to say to us moms of special needs children. but as you say, the passing of ANY child is just the most horrific pain.  Dennis, and all, when people say things like "at least their suffering is over".... well i gotta tell you something....

Comment by Dennis C. on March 24, 2012 at 7:17am

Death is NOT and never will be a blessing. The Bible calls death an "enemy" that produces "sting". Sometimes people see it as an end to suffering. A sick person in pain dies, and people say "at least their suffering is over" and as true as that might be for the person who has fallen asleep, the suffering experienced by those who survive is more intense then ever. Death of a loved one produces a void that can never be filled. Especially as a care giver who has centered his or her world around a special needs person. The void left behind can be unbearable.

Notice that death is called the "enemy".

1 Corinthians 15:26 "As the last enemy, death is to be brought to nothing"

So it is alright to feel this great pain when someone we love dies. It is NOT a blessing. Our pain does NOT mean that we lack faith, or that we are a negative person. And by the way, time does NOT heal all wounds and that is OK, because the void created will continue until God brings death to nothing.

The Bible promises that even our pain will be gone.

Revelation 21:4 says "And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”

These promises and this knowledge from scripture has given me much comfort through the losses that I have suffered.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on March 24, 2012 at 12:49am

Hi Karen
How was your day?

Comment by Karen R. on March 23, 2012 at 10:20pm

Hey everyone, just saying hello.

Comment by anne on March 23, 2012 at 3:02pm

I justwant to say that it is never a blessing when a child dies. Its never a good thing to lose a child under any circumstances. Every child is special and important and has purpose. Special needs children are even more important because they teach all of us things that we need to be better people. When I hear people say "oh it's a blessing" I want to make it so they can neveer speak again. I get so angry at the stupidity of it. To all of the mothers with special needs children I thank you, I admire you, and I respect you. Hang in there everyone!

Comment by Peggy Redmond on March 23, 2012 at 1:41pm

Having a tough day today.

Comment by Grace on March 22, 2012 at 5:37pm

True Peggy and Stephanie...  many people think it is a "Blessing" because our kids had "Special Needs" ... but we also spent so much hard work in fighting for the best interests of them...  always protecting them yet it feels like some how no matter how hard we were on Guard they slipped through the cracks and we lost them.... It is such a deep Pit this grief.... and it does help to share feelings with others who have been there..... Even our best friends can not "Imagine" how painful this is.......Our Brain protects us from this until we live it....

Comment by Peggy Redmond on March 22, 2012 at 5:31pm

Grace, thank you. Yes it does help.No one understands unless they actually go through it themselves.

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