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Comment by anne on March 27, 2012 at 1:20pm

Today my sweet nephew Nathan passed away. Nathan was a twin born with a heart defect. As a wee baby he had heart surgery and suffered several strokes on the operating table. He lived his 25 years without the ability to do anything accept smile this beautiful, wonerful smile. Nathans arms and legs were curled up and useless but his smile never failed. I will always remember that beam of light that came with one of his smiles. I feel so bad for my sister who has taken care of Nathan by herself sisnce her husband died 10 years ago. Even though he couldn't speak or move on his own he touched so many hearts with his innocent and pure smile. I will miss him.

Comment by Grace on March 27, 2012 at 5:14am

I too have had that feeling Nicky.... I think I am angry with God because I wonder why he has punished me so much to take away my son and leave me to live with this pain... what did I do that was so wrong?  I think we all have that feeling in common.... Well said Stephanie and Michelle.  My faith is very shaken... friends that I have that are still religious... I ask them to pray for me because I can not bring myself to have strong faith.... and that I need to call on them to pray for me to carry me through this time.   Yet I struggle with God.... does HE really exist and WHY my son?

Comment by Stephanie on March 27, 2012 at 3:03am

as parents it is almost inevitable that for some time we will feel guilty, if i did this, if i didnt do that.  but maybe that very moment that our children passed on, was the decided time for them to go on to the higher spiritual world.  maybe if our children didnt die the way they did, they still would have, at that same time, some other way. and if so, we would STILL feel, we should have done this or shouldnt have done that. because we are parents, and our babies depend on us, and we feel responsible because that is the way of nature. that  is why it is so very painful for us to lose a child - becoz that is NOT the way of nature.  we dont know why ...  but one day we will know why

 

Comment by Michelle W on March 27, 2012 at 1:32am

Nicky, I understand the way you feel but I know that as a parent I did everything I could to make sure my son knew right from wrong, respect his elders, take his studies serious, volunteer to help the unfortunate, and have school spirit ..,, and he was killed because he had to go to his schools playoff football game to show his spirit... It was that important to him... And he was killed on the way home because of a blow out on the highway.. And his friend was an inexperienced driver.... So all I can think of is why did I instill such strong values if he didn't care about the school he would still be here....So as parents we just get stuck with regret

Comment by Nicky on March 27, 2012 at 1:17am

everydayy i think to myself that i must have been a real terrible person to have had my lil boy taken away from me.....nothing will ever take away this terrible pain or this emptyness

Comment by Grace on March 26, 2012 at 1:58pm

Everytime I hear stories of young people dying...my heart sinks for the parents.... any loss... from any cause... suicide, accidents, cancer.... in the end it really doesn't matter the how or why..... it still is.... GRIEF and PAIN.... and these parents and WE have entered a place where there is ALWAYS a HOLE in our Hearts that can never be filled.   We all know all TOO WELL what hell they have just entered in this "Club" of friends we all become to one another....  PEACE

Comment by Karen R. on March 26, 2012 at 1:52pm

Yes Grace, what an injustice, could have been any one of our children.

I am glad that she has me to talk to. I am sorry that she and I have this in common.

Comment by Grace on March 26, 2012 at 1:47pm

Wow. Karen... that is great that you both can talk in person to each other.  I understand what you friend feels because I can't talk to anyone either....  I think they are so uncomfortable because it is not something they have experience with.... I must say that it is very nice to have this group to go to....   As for her son being shot ....how sad.... and the case in Florida makes me so angry that those parents have had thier child gunned down with him holding Ice Tea and Scittles! And now this family has been in the spotlight in this grief as the gunman hides.... He should not have shot this boy.....  so sad for his Mother and Father..... 

Please hold them in prayer as we do everyone on this site.

Comment by Karen R. on March 26, 2012 at 1:24pm

Last night, a friend of mine, called me sobbing. I knew that sob all to well. Almost 2 yrs ago, her 19yr old son, which was my daughter's boyfriend, had been shot and killed, he was a victim of a robbery at a gas station. She calls me everytime she feels like committing suicide or just to cry, sometimes we both just cry and no words are spoken. Even though I was completely falling apart, I struggled to find a way to calm her. She said that just talking to me, knowing how much I truly understand, helped her so much.  She expressed to me how it's all getting worse and she can't talk to her family about because they are only worried about her. I have been telling her to try this site but she feels like she can't do it, she says she's not ready., so I just told her to call me anytime and she does. Sometimes we plan to meet up at the cemetery since our boys final resting places are about 50ft away from each other. Sometimes we are there for hours, so sad. I can not express enough how important it is to have your feelings validated and not judged.

Comment by Peggy Redmond on March 26, 2012 at 1:11pm

Hi Karen. No need for thanks. I know what it is like losing a child. I too, wish I could have my daughter back.

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