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Comment by Lorraine on April 7, 2012 at 8:51pm

Michele & Karen, it is definitely bittersweet to see Sy's friends move on, get married, have babies & buy homes.  While I am so very happy for all of these young people, it is heartbreaking that my Sy guy is no longer here to do those things, or other things he wanted so badly to accomplish.  It is coming up on 4 years in May, and already the dread has begun. I am not sure why this happens, as they are no longer here & every day is painful. Why should this one day be any more painful than the rest??  Dick, I think your idea to become a scoutmaster again might be perfect for you; you will know once you become re-involved. I wish you the best. Sending love to everyone during Passover & EAster time.

Comment by Michelle W on April 5, 2012 at 11:31pm

Stephanie..thinking of you...wishing you a speedy recovery...please keep in touch.,,

Comment by Karen R. on April 5, 2012 at 8:10pm

Hey Stephanie,  I wish you well.....please keep in touch.

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on April 5, 2012 at 6:03pm

Sending prayers and hugs your way Stephanie.  Wishing you a speedy recovery after your surgery.   

Comment by Stephanie on April 5, 2012 at 3:45pm

hi all my dear friends, i just want to tell you that tomorrow i will be going in for surgery. severe breathing obstruction due to an intruding bone malormation. total nasal reconstruction, plus grafts of cartilage to help broaden the very narroy nasal passages.

We are Jewish and it is now our Passover time, and Jessy died during our Passover time, exacty 4 years ago, same hospital.  The kids are freaked, family trying to console them.  i am not afraid.  Please pray for me, my friends, that all will go well.  i will let you know as soon as i can, how things went. lots and lots of love to you, my deeply special friends. and thank you for being there. lots and lots of love, Steph xxxx

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on April 5, 2012 at 8:02am

Michelle thank you for the kind words yesterday.  Everyone, I have lost family members prior to losing my son.  I grieved for a little while but part of me just moved on because I didn't get it.  But when I Iost my son, the bottom fell out, my heart broke into a million pieces, I GET IT NOW!!  The overwhelming feeling of loss.  I truly understand NOW what it's like to lose someone so dear to you.  One thing this has done to me is if someone I know loses someone, I know what they may be going thru.  I know what NOT to say to them.  I know to just be there without saying anything, just being there to listen is one of the most precious gifts a person can offer another person in this time of need.  

One of the other things I struggle with is that my son was still living at home since he was only 17.  When he passed, my husband and I were also thrown into the nightmare of empty nest syndrome on top of that.  When the house is so quiet, it just throws me into a depression with the reality my son is gone.  It's like a double sword reminder of what has happened.  Karen I too sometimes feel like I'm going crazy but I know it's just the craziness of grief.   Special hugs to you all.

We take one day at a time knowing some days are awful, some days kind of ok, and once in a while we have a good day.

Comment by Michelle W on April 5, 2012 at 1:24am

Well I get it Karen ... It does hurt and yes being a mom I know my daughter has so much paid and anger it don't want to add to her pain so you I keep it in alot...and yes I find this group is very helpful just to help me know I'm not alone and some else gets it

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on April 4, 2012 at 11:36pm

It hurts. So bad.

Comment by Karen R. on April 4, 2012 at 11:33pm

Hey Michelle, thank you also for your support. I just feel like I'm crazy......maybe, perhaps, that is because I am "crazy". I think my biggest problem is that I can no longer share my thoughts with my family, including my children because they just don't get it. I know they worry about me but it hurts me that I can't express what i am really going through. Thats why I am so grateful for you and all the other members, even though it saddens me at the same time that such a group exists. In a perfect world, we would never know this pain.

Comment by Karen R. on April 4, 2012 at 11:27pm

Hey Dick, thanks for your support. You are right. My 'special' place is usually when I'm in my car alone. Maybe I shouldn't hold it in out in public, I just feel bad for the people that feel bad for me when they see me explode into tears. Sometimes I just feel like I need so many hugs.

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