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Comment by teri marie on May 7, 2012 at 11:11am

mothers day is coming up and that day will never be the same.  that was the last time i got to hold my daughter.  that very day. 

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on May 7, 2012 at 10:41am

Grace so true.  Having a good day once in a while doesn't mean you have forgotten about your child.  It just means, we have to take a break from the heartache once in awhile in order to live. 

Comment by Grace on May 7, 2012 at 10:29am

Sometimes I read and do not respond....and somedays I wonder if coming to the site is helpful... but somedays I feel I should write to let those of you know I am here and listening....because somedays I write and don't see a response and wonder if you are all here... reading about my pain....  and somedays I feel like Karen and wonder if it is too painful to come here.....    Somedays I feel better and ok.. and I do have happy days.... and somedays I feel distraunt....  Maybe even when we have a good day... we need to write it here so that maybe someone who is having a Bad Day have a glimmer of hope that they will have a good day too..... and that that is ok... it is ok to smile and have a good day too....

Comment by Karen R. on May 7, 2012 at 8:51am

Hello to all, just read some of the recent postings. Just wanted to comment on counting the time that passes by. For me, I still try to avoid counting. I have said many times that the counting confirms that my son is gone and I can't accept that, I refuse. The counting makes my son's passing a reality......I don't want this to be real. I think that may be why I am starting  not enter this site very often. Even as I am typing my thoughts,this moment,  my eyes are burning, the lump I feel in my throat is intensifying, I feel such a profound sadness, an emptiness that no words can explain. I will NEVER truly be happy again.

Comment by Grace on May 7, 2012 at 5:06am

Hang on Everyone... it is not fair that we have this pain.. but some days are ok .... I know it is hard when my mind slips back to the fact that I HAD this CHILD and he is GONE.   I know I am coming up to the 3rd Anniversary of his death and I am going to pretend that it is not that date and do something like any other day..... hoping to just ignore it.   hope that works.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on May 6, 2012 at 11:12pm

I hate this. This pain that we all have to endure. I cry for us all.

Comment by Ammy on May 6, 2012 at 9:03am

I am just HATING life.  I am SELFISH and want those days when I can feel okay.  I'm TIRED of this sadness, these tears.  

Today is my husband's birthday and I can't even pretend to be happy for him.  My youngest daughter (37) has moved back home and is expecting a baby.  I can't enjoy this time with her.  Her first baby (and probably her only one) and I am not excited.  How sad and inconsiderate I feel.

She was talking to my son's daughter yesterday and saying that she doesn't have room for a crib in her room and my granddaughter told her she could put it in Daddy's room because he doesn't sleep there anymore; he sleeps in heaven now.  Made both of us cry. 

I am filled with emotions and could write forever, but you all have your own feelings and events to deal with, and my heart, even though it's shattered, still feels your pain as well.

Be blessed.

Comment by Grace on May 5, 2012 at 5:33pm

Teri... all of us understand .... You are right... you can never let go... some days will become more managable than others.... the sting will ease. but none of us can let go of our babies.

Comment by teri marie on May 5, 2012 at 11:07am

it has been 80 weeks for me missing my girl.  people say i have to let her go and move on with life.  i will never ever let her go.  i think it cruel to tell me to do so.  my heart is broken and bleeding.  i can afirm and act as if but inside i will forever be looking and hoping i will be blessed with her presence again.  counting counting counting

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on May 2, 2012 at 4:29pm

Ammy
I think it is almost impossible not to count. Every moment every day. Been having a tough time here. I think also moving forward is something that just happens if we can get up get dressed and eat every day. One moment at a time.

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