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Comment by lynne thompson on May 15, 2012 at 10:31am

Grace, my first child Bobby, had manic depression at 14 and my family  was horrendous to me , they never visisted him in the hospital or home,I found Bobby dead in his apt. he slit his wrist.....Now lets fast forward in the future..my son Terry died of a heart attack and my family when I left the room said , in front of my last son, Gerard, "be careful, for I hope there are no razors left around"  My son is a correctional officer (my only child now) he had to leave the house for he said he wanted to smash his face...........so what I did Grace, I wrote them all emails telling them please not to bother me, for their type of help I did not need.  In other words I have cut my family out for the better of everyone here and mainly me.  And you know what at least I feel peaceful in that I or my son or husband have to hear that junk again...so long family for me ....and honestly it is for the best........This was not the first time this happened, there were lots of other before, but it is to long to go into now.......for me this works........Love, lynne

Comment by teri marie on May 15, 2012 at 9:06am

it is not written that we tolerate such abuse from family.  vent away miss grace!  god bless your son and the time that you were blessed with.  My mother is the same with my brothers also.  but the anger and hurt i feel about it is not worth my time.  they will have to answer to the maker.  when i go to the maker i know the gates will be open wide.....

Comment by Grace on May 15, 2012 at 8:46am

I am hurt and very angry and need to vent..... so sorry hope you all can take it and understand.....

My son was 14 when he died and had Autism.  My family never tolerated him when he was alive.... I was asked to keep him away from my parents house.... when he was little he had a close call medically and my Mother told me when I called her from the hospital (With Clergy in the room) that she could not come until the mail man delivered her mail..... ok that pissed me off.... My Dad told me he would like to hit my son (when he was acting Autistic) and make him spin around 14 times.... Dad is dead and I don't think I have been able to really for give his harshness toward my son.... again( while trying to be a good daughter) I was trying to plan a 50th Anniversary for my folks and My Bully Brother threatened to man handle my son.... That resulted in a confrontation of me tryiong to defend my child and my brother giving me a black eye..... Ok I could go on and on... Yet My mother has made excuses and tried to say I am a liar about these events or deny that they happened.....  let's go to last night.... again a confrontation occured with my brother where he REPEATEDLY said in front of my Mother that I SHOULD HAVE HAD AN ABORTION of my Niles!  He repeated this evil cruel remark and even laughed as her twisted this knife into my heart.... My mother sat there emotionless and acted as if he did nothing.... AGAIN! 

I can not accept this from either and feel a totally cold stone heeart for both right now.... I swear if either dropped dead I could not forgive them enough to even attend the funeral!  I can not believe that when My husband confronted my mother she denied hearing a thing!

Jesus may forgive them but I have turned so many cheeks that I don't think I can.

Sorry for venting.... But I could not stop sobbing.... has anyone else experienced such Cruel abuse from "Family"?

I think I have to cut these people out of my life like a toxic, poison, cancer.   I can offer NO Honor, Respect, or Love since that is the compassion they have both shown to me and the memory of my son.

Comment by Billie Malowany on May 14, 2012 at 10:34pm

Mothers day has come and gone. My daughter and husband made it special and very emotional for me, making me realize they are hurting too. My husband is very private and quiet with his thoughts and feelings and my daughter has many questions but holds back for fear of sending me over the edge. I love them both dearly.

I read early about people listening or not listening to music, my daughter had a love of music so I listen all the time and often hear music that speaks to me of her. Certain songs will also come up during certain times that seems appropriate, as if she were there in that moment with me. For example I was driving to town today, thinking of my husband and the song "I loved her first" by Heartland came on, letting me know she was thinking of him too. I started crying so hard I had to pull over. I miss her so so so much and I know he misses her too.

So listen to the music-your babies will speak to you through a medium they loved and understood.

Comment by Dick on May 14, 2012 at 7:25pm

I really like that iris. Thanks for sharing.

Comment by Ammy on May 14, 2012 at 1:43pm

Hi, I would imagine that Sunita Hutu is spam mail.  This has happened a couple of times on here.  

Adrianne, I am happy that you received a sign.  It does not matter where it came from, but I believe that God allows these small little miracles.  A sign of hope.  I sure could use one. myself.  Thanks for sharing.

Today is 22 months for us, and it's back to darkness.  Haven't had a decent day for awhile so Adrianne's news was helpful.

Karen, all I can say is I'm sorry and send a cyber hug.  I do understand.  

Praying you all are blessed in some way this week.  Hugs to all.

Comment by lynne thompson on May 14, 2012 at 9:53am

Sunita Hutu, why are you sending all these messages to all grieving moms.......I don't get why you are doing that......do you need help with anything? 

 

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on May 14, 2012 at 9:27am

I saw that also.  Maybe we need to ask her.  

Comment by lynne thompson on May 14, 2012 at 9:22am

I am just wondering who sunita hutu is?   Whoever it is she/he is sending all these messages t people here about being your friend.   Is she studying grief, she gives no story about herself.........I am sorry if I sound mysterfied, but I am......

 

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on May 14, 2012 at 9:17am

Maybe nothing to this but it is odd that it is my favorite flower.  Don never forgot. My husband did but Don didn't.  I'm sure it could have arrived other than as a gift from my son.  One person said maybe a bird.  But it's highly unlikely as this is a bulb flower that had to have been planted in the winter.  In any case, it made me feel better.  Sorry about the size of the picture.  Have no idea how to resize.  

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