Comment

Comment by lynne thompson on June 25, 2012 at 8:33am

I experienced this when my first son, died NO one mentioned him and the same goes with the death of my Terry, and people wonder why we isolate ourselves?? I was seeing a counselor and her remark to the me the second visit was " gee I have never worked with a person that has lost 2 children......that was the end of her........I read bereavement books and that is my help.......ugh , this is so terrible......I agree.

 

Comment by Grace on June 25, 2012 at 5:19am

Michelle.... this group has been my counseling... I have not gone to any groups or grief counseling... My husband and I have tried a marriage counselor but I quit.... I really did not think she was helping... and she had not lost a child and maybe the "You need to let go of the past" retoric works for others but when you have a child that dies.... it is a past we all cling to for memories and the marrital issues may be different?  but when I found this online group I felt like there were others who have the same emotions and experiences.

Comment by Michelle W on June 25, 2012 at 3:30am

Karen,Grace,
It would mean the world to me to have any of Billy's friend call and just talk of him.... They all speak to my daughter still but I would love to hear from them.. I just want to speak of my son again and have people speak of him... He didn't just vanish even though thats what it feels like... Does any one have an opinion on group or a private councelor ??? What seems to help more?? Or is there no help from all this pain? Michelle

Comment by Karen R. on June 24, 2012 at 7:28pm

GRACE, YOU ARE SO RIGHT. I RECENTLY TOLD A FRIEND OF MINE HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ALL OF US LEFT BEHIND, TO HEAR OUR LOVED ONE'S NAME SPOKEN OR TO JUST LET US KNOW THAT THEY REMEMBER THEM. SHE HAD BEEN PROCRASTINATING OVER WHETHER OR NOT TO CALL ONE OF BEST FRIEND'S MOTHER.....THAT FRIEND UNFORTUNATELY PASSED AWAY. SHE THOUGHT CALLING HER MOM WOULD ONLY UPSET HER, I TOLD HER ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Comment by Grace on June 24, 2012 at 5:16pm

I spent the weekend with a good friend who lost her husband 7 years ago... We were in his Home Town..... and she was having many fond memories with some of the locals who remembered him.... It was so positive to see her remember him and we talked about it alone how it feels to have people still talk about him.... "It Proves He really DID Exist and left an impression" ... Yes it is good to hear others remember her loved ones....I know it feels good to have those respect my loved one too.....

Comment by Michelle W on June 23, 2012 at 11:07pm

Dick, I think that sounds wonderful, don't stress on it enjoy that the memory of you son is there and being honored..... Maybe one of them would want to take charge of it ... My son was killed in a car accident two days after thanksgiving .. He was buried twelve days before his eighth birthday ... His golden birthday as he told my daughter on her birthday( thanksgiving) it would all be about him after that day because this would have been his golden birthday.. He was buried in a golden urn my daughter and I picked out.. On his birthday we went to visit with him at the grave site and a crowd of high school seniors stood there as we approached they. Ame to visit then they were going bowling for his birthday that's how they all celebrated each others birthday,,, it was sad but it was nice that they still honored him on his birthday.. Hugs Michelle

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on June 23, 2012 at 2:13pm

Dick we are going through the same thing! We have decided to have our family alone. Let the friends do as they please without our presence. My son loved the ocean. Liked to surf. So we will visit his grave and do a family bonfire at the beach.

Comment by Dick on June 23, 2012 at 8:42am

Danny's friends approached me and want to do a one year memorial. I am not sure, should I let them? What should the venue be? I just don't know and it gives me stress. I feel like I would be living through a funeral again. Any suggestions would be helpful.

Comment by Karen R. on June 20, 2012 at 9:51pm

Love and hugs to all, good night!

Comment by Karen R. on June 20, 2012 at 9:50pm

Grace, that's absolutely wonderful that the benefit in honor of your son raised so much funds.

I agree what you said about Zimmerman, this world can be really twisted, I know his parent's pain and anguish all too well.

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