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Comment by Grace on August 27, 2012 at 4:45pm

yes Karen it is hard to believe that Angel has hit 15 years.....  I too can not imagine... but it is our new reality isn't it......  all of these anniversaries will pass and we will always remember them.... but I really never want to forget either.   My Niles life has meant so much to me.... his autism was very challenging.... and I worried so much about who would love him if I passed.... always hoped I would not leave him behind... always saw him in my future.... but life slaps us in the face with how fragile and random our lives are..... now when I hear of anyone passing.... I feel that random reality.... and know that another will enter the tunnel of grief..... PEACE

Comment by Karen R. on August 27, 2012 at 2:13pm

Hey Angel, wow, 15 years...I can't imagine what I feel like when I too will be saying..."my son passed away 15 years ago". I haven't made the 3 year mark yet and my pain still feels like it did the day it happened to my 21 yr old son. All i can say to you and all parents that have lost their child, is that my heart hurts with yours.

Comment by Angel on August 27, 2012 at 12:17pm

Ammy....I can't thank you enough.Yes it is the big cemetary in Springfield. How thoughtful of you.....I went alone and cried and cried...but that's healing.....Thank you all for your hugs everyone....am sending peace to all of you...Angel..

Comment by Michelle W on August 27, 2012 at 1:03am

Hi everyone, it's funny you think your ok then boom it all just comes back... Remembering my lovely son died 9 months 25minutes ago today.., it feels like 25 minutes ago..,wow it doesn't get easier ....hoping everyone one has had an up swing day ..... I had a dream and my sons friend who was driving to at a nap... It's been bothering me all day... He never can by or said sorry.., I know it wasn't intentional but still... Maybe that's too much to ask??? Well hugs to all.,.

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on August 26, 2012 at 8:56am

Special hugs to you Angel.  Ammy your offer to Angel just confirms that we all have beautifuf hearts and totally get it, this thing called grief.  The daily struggles we share.  Sending a hug to you all.

Comment by Ammy on August 26, 2012 at 8:27am

Hello to all, I am thinking of you this morning.  No special reason, just as there is no special reason when our difficult days come.  Have been a little surprised myself at how difficult it has been for almost 2 weeks again.  There is definitely no way to figure out this thing called 'grief'.

Angel, are you okay with going alone?  Or do you have someone to go with you?  I don't believe in coincidences and I hardly ever get on the computer this early, but I was reading a Psalm and turned on the laptop, saw yours and Grace's comments.  Decided to go to your page and see where you live (if listed), and I know of your area.  Don't go there, but it's not far.  If you have no one, or don't wish to be alone, I can be there for you.  Do you by any chance go to that huge cemetery that I think is Springfield?  

Like I said, I don't believe in coincidences.  I feel I was meant to see your post and offer to be there.  

No day goes without a thought or memory of our child / children and I know that on special days it can be worse.  Whether you accept my offer or not, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as all who come to this site are.

Comment by Grace on August 26, 2012 at 8:01am

Angel... thinking of you today....  I hope you have another special friend or person that can give some comfort to you as you face this day remembering the 2 you have lost.   ((((HUGS))))

Comment by Angel on August 26, 2012 at 7:56am

Hi Everyone...today is the 15th anniversary of my daughter's passing...she was 21..we had no closure because she wasn't viewable due to a horrific car accident...I don't feel totally out of it today but did for the past 2 weeks...I'm going to do what I've done every year for 15 years.. get dressed ..go to the cemetary.....but his year will be different for me...usually my husband went with me ...he was her step-father and even if he didn't get out of the car and gave me privacy he was still there...this year he's buried in the same cemetary..so I will stop and see him also...peace ......to all...Angel

Comment by Angel on August 22, 2012 at 9:29am

Grace ....how can anyone be so horrible to anyone who has suffered the worst tragedy of all...losing your child...My heart hurts for each of us as it is just a never ending process...and no it doesn't ever go away...some days ....some years we deal better than other...I ws dx with Post Tramatic Stress Disorder...5 years after my daughter passed...so it's been 10 years that I've known...and still can't get the triggers under control...my husband passed from cancer on her 36th birthday which was 18 months ago....her 15 th anniversary is August 26th...and I am having a horrible summer...we allhave to remember that there  is no right and no wrong way to grieve..it is individual..we all need help, comfort, support and caring...I have needed as much comfort and support now as I needed 15 years ago...I will feel lighter after the 26th passes....but only until the next time.....I wish you all peace...Angel

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on August 22, 2012 at 3:11am

"There is no harder grief than losing a child"
Says it all.

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