Comment

Comment by Angel on September 16, 2012 at 8:49am

Karen I also don't think anyone has the right to do this...but you.

 

Brenda ..well said...you said a book in a few short sentences...

Comment by Brenda Ann on September 16, 2012 at 4:08am

We have heard statements like heavy heart, broken heart - I think that these are not just symbolisums used in poetry - these are literal. Grief has left us very much aware of the weight of our own heart because we can "feel" it in our chest and the pain is coming directly from its center.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on September 16, 2012 at 12:30am

Heart hurts for us all. Why us?

Comment by Michelle W on September 15, 2012 at 1:22am

Karen... That's horrible.., I agree you should be able to keep it up .... People are so heartless and uncaring...I found an old roll of undeveloped film yesterday... I ran it over to the pharmacy not knowing what was on it or if it would even turn out.,,. Yes there was only a couple of pictures that turned out yess they where of my son and one of my daughter.,, it must have been his camera from vacation a couple tears ago... It made me so happy .,, it was like I saw him just one
More time.., then it faded... Sure miss his smile..,,Grace, I think I may have PTSD I'm not sure but I think this is what it would be that I have??? I thought of looking into seeing someone who may be able to help whatever it just hurts,,,,,,

Comment by Grace on September 14, 2012 at 8:42am

Hi.... Yesterday I went for a "Stress Test" because I have been feeling pressure in my shoulder.... and even though I feel like I wish I could just drop dead from a heart attack... well maybe I should get it checked out.

2 months ago, a child that recieved a "Random Act Of Kindness check" from our fund died unexpectedly.  And Our family just ached for knowing her parents were about to "Join this group" of sadness.

Yesterday as I was explaining to the Cardiologist that I could just be suffering from anxiety or PTSD because I lost my son at 14 years old, the lady assisting him was related to the young girl who had just passed.... as the test ended and I found out I was "Normal"... and the doctor left the room.  we shared tears... she apologized because it is so unprofessional for her to cry in front of a paitient...  I said "No, you are human."  we hugged and cried and shared our losses.... and I said it had been 3 years and I don't think we will ever "Get Over it".  She talked about the mother of the child and how devestated she has been.  Both of us lost special needs children.   and Karen, I was thinking the same thing as you,  after 3 years, it seems like no one cares anymore that we lost our child.... time should be done and we should be "Over it"..... and I am still not "Over it"... how long would it take for them to be "Over it?" 

Well My heart is "Normal"  But it is still broken with big gapping holes in it.   I guess I can not expect to have a sudden heart attack and be done with this life.....  although my brain sure thinks I am ready to die from this pain.

Comment by Jessica Berninzon on September 14, 2012 at 12:16am

Just wanted to stop in say hello to everyone , life is difficult , sad , confusing , its i cant explain it in words there are no words for how i feel im sure all of you can relate to this i have been reading alot of books tryin to find some comfort but have found little as of yet ...just wanted to say hello to all the moms and dads living like we do after losing our child/children

Comment by Karen R. on September 13, 2012 at 11:16pm

Hey everyone, I see it's been quiet. It's been hard for me to get on emotionally. Added to my frustration and sadness, I learned that my son's memorial was taken down !!! :(  

I was told that it was taken down by the Town. There were at least 3 others on this street, including my son's which was the latest addition, that were all removed. This was such a kick in my gut and my throat! It is rumored that residents were complaining. How dare they!!!! I bet they all have their children, who could be that heartless?!!! I just feel like punching whoever in their face!!!! All I had was a 8 by 10 photo with a flower border around it stapled to a tree at the intersection, it's been there 2yrs and 11 months, why now? He had a life, for goodness sake, he's someone's child, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and someone's friend!!!!! I feel so violated. My son is not a mere 'memory', I say it over and over again.....his life was not a figment of my imagination. I am going to continue to put one up, I don't care, I'll do it everyday if I have to.  Thanks for letting me vent!

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on September 13, 2012 at 10:57pm

Struggling with all that I didn't do right.

Comment by Angel on September 6, 2012 at 7:21pm

I never read Melanie's autopsy report...I asked a very trusted atoorney friend of mine to do it and tell me anything he felt I had to know...my family Dr. of many , mnay years also read it...I couldn't..still can't 15 years later..it's made no difference..she still doesn't call...I still haven't seen her...I do know she died instantly which is some sort of comfort...I know she died from multiple blunt force trauma..which is a generic answer...it doesn't matter...all that matters is she is gone...try not to struggle over this..my Melanie was not viewable..that was the hardest for me...not to be able to kiss her goodbye...not to see her...and to have my mind wonder with unimaginable thoughts for so many years....I had to come to terms with the fact that she was gone and it didn't much matter why/how just that she was or I would have truly lost my mind...she took my husband on her birthday...I believe it was a message to me...and done for me.....and that will always give me some sort of peace from my little girl...she is truly an Angel.....PEACE!

Comment by Michelle W on September 6, 2012 at 7:12pm

Angel,,, thank you your right it's just hard not to feel like you should get better... Be better ... And Sherry Rae.,,, when I got the report I thought all the answers where there ... I read it over and over and the truth is I know my son had injuries but did he suffer ??? I still don't know there is no definate what was the cause so it didn't make me feel better or help me ..so like grace said there is no hurry... It won't change how you feel,..,, you should do what makes you feel better,,,

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