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Comment by Angel on September 27, 2012 at 11:12am

Same here Michele....screaming and crying are so cleansing..and help relieve some of the pain....not alot..but some..they are both necessary in our lives....I'm with Karen...please no apoligies ever needed in a room with us....

Comment by Karen R. on September 27, 2012 at 10:51am

Michelle W., don't apologize for feeling like you want to scream, I have no doubt that plenty of us feel like that.....I know I do and I actually do it!

Comment by Karen R. on September 27, 2012 at 10:50am

Thanks Angel, may you continue to be blessed, thanks for your support and encouragement, it really means a lot.

Comment by Angel on September 27, 2012 at 10:06am

Karen....I know my daughter would have been mad as heel at first..and probably fought passing over tooth andnail..she was young, married, in love, in school, at the height of her life and it was snatched out from under her.....I believe in time she came to accept that she was home..and I also believe God may have saved her from something worse....she was His child first as we all are..and I am grateful that he trusted her in my care for 21 years...sound so easy doesn't it...??? it's not...and hasn't been...but acceptance is the key...an once we do that...each breath we take isn't as painful....Karen he isn't crying..he's in the Lord's arms....safely home...Angel

Comment by Karen R. on September 27, 2012 at 9:59am

Angel, It is comforting to know that you have found acceptance. I need to believe that my son is in "heaven" and has peace and happiness but instead I am plagued with thoughts of him being angry that his life was snatched away from him, I have torturous thoughts of him crying, being scared and not being accepting of what happened to him. Perhaps these are just my thoughts, I don't know, I just wish that I could feel like he's ok, hopefully one day I will.

Comment by Angel on September 27, 2012 at 8:34am

I relate t everyone here in different ways....just pasing the 15th anniversary of losing my daughter did a real number on me...no day is different..she isn't here any day...I have searched all over..swore I saw her on the corner waiting for a bus, in an aisle at the store...in a witness protection program...but God has given me the gift of acceptance and that has been my saving grace...I have to believe that she is in heaven..or whatever others call it...in beautiful surroundings, happy , surrounded by everything she loved....that she is in peace...and waiting for me ...or I would lose my mind...almost did 10 months after she passed and then it took me 10 years to have any sort of normalacy in my life..to be able to alugh..I couldn't travel because I thought she would come home...couldn't move because I thought she wouldn't know where I lived when she came back..so now although....there isn't a second of my life that I know she isn't here.....I go on...her life and my love for her lives in a place in my heart  that I can live with...when she came and took my husband on her birthday that showed me that she was Ok...she came for him to show me that....and God told her to bring him home so he wasn't in pain and could breath again......Peace. Angel

Comment by Michelle W on September 27, 2012 at 1:06am

Karen, i really can't see time healing anything.,,, I try to keep busy and try not to think of what has happened so I can get through the days everyone around me seems to keep going... There are many things I can't do that at first I could so I think it is getting worst...I'm do confussed on what I'm to do I just want to scream inside .. Sorry hope you all ate having a tolerable day,,,

Comment by Karen R. on September 27, 2012 at 12:57am

Hello everyone, it also makes me sick, literally, when I give deep thought about what happened to my son. I still try to tell myself that my mind is playing tricks on me. I must admit, that sometimes if my bath room door is closed, before I open it, I approach it slowly, close my eyes, open the door slowly and peak to see if he's in there. While my eyes are closed, I think to myself that he's really ok. I have had so many traumatic episodes where I find myself searching the house for him......it's terrible. Then of course to my disappoint, when he's not there, I just start to sob and then i start begging my son to come to me, thinking about the days that are passing without him really puts me over the edge. Time passing just reminds me that I can't see him and it makes me more angry and sad. I can not fathom how time heals. I don't even share this with my other children, they would have me committed.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on September 27, 2012 at 12:35am

It's not easier. It's harder. So long now since I saw my son. We talked all day. Text all day. Went so many places together. I'm lost. I don't know anymore what I believe in. I wonder now that his beautiful body is gone how he exists. And the wondering makes me sick.

Comment by Michelle W on September 26, 2012 at 3:47pm

Adrianne,
I know that sick feeling my son was all about basketball he played three year on the school team and would have played four if he hadn't died every year I would have to search for the coolest nike s then I would have to get them in his school colors... A true nightmare.... That I would just give up anything to do again.... Now just the sound of a basketball, a picture, even being around a young person wear bball shorts Nike of course I just feel sick...

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