Comment

Comment by Karen R. on October 2, 2012 at 1:59pm

The replays are truly tortuous!

Comment by Michelle W on October 2, 2012 at 1:34pm

Grace,
The replays almost always are when I'm driving... Take that back pretty much all the time to some extent,..

Comment by Grace on October 1, 2012 at 9:28am

It is amazing how the movies replay in my head at random times......Happened again today as I was driving.

Comment by Angel on October 1, 2012 at 7:53am

Grace..I totally agree....I spent 5 years with a psychologist who finally did 8 hours of testing.Verbal, coordination, memory, etc..and said I have a full verified case of PTSD...I have since seen 2 other PTSD specialist for 3 years each...although my daughter has been gone 15 years it took me the first 10 to even be somewhat normal...and then the last 5 trying to smile, travel live somewhat...I have most of it under control.....I do dissociate at will.....because I have learned what I can handle and what I can't ..I dissociated the first time the night she died.....there was a horrible accident...she was alone...they said she died instantly but I still have visions of her laying on a lawn (she was ejected from the car) dying herself....in pain...calling for her husband.....calling for me...they were only married 10 months...and yes and autopsy was done because she was on Phen -Phen...and I still would love to know why the coroner called as soon as he got her body....because her pills were on her kitchen table ..not in her handbag ......so how did he know..why did he ask...????? a million questions that none of us will ever have answers to....we will never get over this loss...and in my heart and in my mind I have to believe that she is with God...at home...in peace..happy....or I would lose my mind...as I almost did....how to live? with your child in a place in your heart that each individual can live with...it's unique..no right ..no wrong way....our way....have I accepted that she passed and isn't coming back...YES! .....because I haven't seen her in 15 years.....I have no choice....

Comment by Grace on October 1, 2012 at 5:46am

Adrianna,   my son was an organ donor.... I am happy we chose that .... but for a very long time I had images of the organ "Harvest"  It was a similar feeling that you are having I am sure..... Icall all of this PTSD that all of us have..... Images that we likely will never "Get Over".  Flash Backs of the entire Death Week.....  I wish I "WOULD OF" "COULD OF"  What if?  We may forever be living the cycles.....

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on October 1, 2012 at 3:39am

Grief and mourning is what my family and friends think I'm experiencing. It's just part of it. Anxiety, fear and devastation make up most of it. Did it hurt? Was he scared? They cut up his body. How will that image ever f'ing go away! How does one live with that???

Comment by Karen R. on September 27, 2012 at 10:10pm

I am glad your group is good for you and thanks for the hug.

Comment by Robin Jone on September 27, 2012 at 9:57pm

So sorry to read of everyone's pain. My heart is aching tonight too. Went to my Compassionate Friends Meeting Tuesday night. It is always so hard, but I think it is good for me. It is my time that I can let my walls down and can say how much I miss Zach and cry, or do whatever I need to do because everyone there understands. It helps me get out of myself and try to help someone else who is grieving. Really missing him so much tonight, have that hole that will never go away. Hugs and prayers for all. Robin

Comment by Angel on September 27, 2012 at 11:12am

Same here Michele....screaming and crying are so cleansing..and help relieve some of the pain....not alot..but some..they are both necessary in our lives....I'm with Karen...please no apoligies ever needed in a room with us....

Comment by Karen R. on September 27, 2012 at 10:51am

Michelle W., don't apologize for feeling like you want to scream, I have no doubt that plenty of us feel like that.....I know I do and I actually do it!

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