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Comment by Stephanie on October 11, 2012 at 2:34pm

Thanx Sophia, i do agree with u fully. I myself am not in the medical field, but have grown up with it. My dad was a doctor. Looking after my CP child, with all the really hectic medical complications, for 12 years, and my sister being an O.T. working in psychiatrics, and my other daughter has Bipolar ... well, I've sure had my fair share. And I totally agree. So many people gave their "advice" about my kids' meds. My dad would tell me OF COURSE u wouldn't give yr kids Valproic Acid or Lithium etc if they weren't havin seizures and bipolar etc etc, but they NEED it. And i've always remembered that... and i need the meds thta i take - under a psychiatrist - it helps me. lots of love.

 

Comment by Sophia on October 11, 2012 at 12:48pm

Hi everyone. I was just reading the comments posted about taking medication for panic attacks & I want to comment: I too am taking meds for panic attacks & with-out them I would be even more of a wreck. I work in the medical field & I know first hand how mis-used these types of meds are. ie, benzodiazepines - xanax & the like, what used to be know as valium - they are essentially the same thing. Either way, if when a person loses a child isn't an appropriate time to be prescribed this med. then I don't know when is!?! So many, too many people are precribed these meds when they truly don't need them but I know I do right now. If you believe you need something to help you then I believe you should use something prescribed by a doctor. Un-treated panic attacks or depression could easily lead to self medication. Not to say it will but it could. Everyone is different and so medication is not for everyone.   No-one, no doctor of any study of medicine - psychiatry or otherwise - could possibly know what we are experiencing emotionally, without having experienced it themselves. Many doctors, not all but many, like to believe they know everything but they are just people like everyone else. People who have gone to school for too long and as a result are quite out of touch with life. Just my humble opinion I wanted to share.

Comment by Sophia on October 11, 2012 at 12:24pm

The words of that song from the comment posted by Grace on monday really do fit how I feel too.  Thank you, anyone who replyed about my post. I know I'm not alone & that anyone who's lost a child feels the same emptiness in their hearts, minds & souls - it's an emptiness that is really beyond what words can express. I find that I see life, people and really everything differently now. I'v always been an optimist, always looked at the glass as half full but now I just feel that this is all just so temporary. I try to get through each day as best I can, without breaking down or just giving up. I have 2 other children 20yrs and 12 yrs, which keep my head on straight. It is so hard for them too. I talk with them about how their feeling and this is so life changing for all of us. Again, Jimmy died 11/13/11 just 10 days after my 20yr old's birthday & leading into the wonderful holiday season. I think I was stil in shock last holiday season this actually feels like the first year with out him around during the holidays and I'm dreading it for all of us. I have to remain strong and I will, it stil sometimes feels like this is a bad nightmare that I'm waiting to wake up from. I'll be greiving the remainder of my life and I do hope to one day see my sweet Jimmy again!

Comment by Stephanie on October 10, 2012 at 1:49pm

hi ANGEL, thanx for the support. i feel better that i'm not the only one taking meds. actually i thought way more people were on meds generally, anti-depressants etc. i don't know if i fully support those dr's and therapists that encourage us to rather embrace the pain. it's like not taking pain killers when u're a migraine sufferer. if meds are there to help then why not use them?  i do understand though, the fear of becoming dependent on meds. i don't fear that. it helps me. u are right - it's so hard to all support each other, but even though there are not always words, at least we know we are all here for each other. i think that in itself makes the world of difference ((hugs)) steph

Comment by Stephanie on October 10, 2012 at 1:44pm

michelle, if u're strong enough to tough it out, that's great. for me, my anxiety became truly debilitating. i am quite a believer in meds, to HELP, definitely not to abuse them. it is helping me a great deal, just to deal with life, day to day, my other kids, all the demands. it definitely doesn't HIDE wat happened, and every so often i have a very big sobbing session.

Comment by Angel on October 10, 2012 at 8:18am

Good morning...everyone......I've been reading but nothing to say ...sad...that we all understand each other and there are no words...to comfort..and take the loss and pain of losing our babies away...Panic attacks are so normal..Stephanie ..Ialso had to go on meds..I couldn't take it anymore...and when my husband passed on her birthday...they started again....Michelle....sadly the day will come and go ..and the build up is what makes us hurt so much ..we just don't know what to expect..."what will I feel like" besides the inevitable thoughts of our child...for everyone a birthday ..an anniversary are all different...we will alll be here inlove and thoughts with you....

Comment by Michelle W on October 9, 2012 at 11:49pm

Stephanie,
Thank you, yes the year is slowly creeping up all I can do is think of my son in the garage a Halloween and asking if he would hand out the candy with the friends he had over so the dogs wouldn't bark..,, he just smiled and said of course..,, do he actually met all of our neighbors first.,,I also have had way too many panic attacks lately but I was told not to try to medicate to greif that it will wait for you and come back ,,,?? I really don't know .... I'm definately not a pro at this,,,,so i have. Desided to try to tough it out,,,,hugs

Comment by Stephanie on October 9, 2012 at 2:44pm

michelle, i just went to look at Billy's page, it's so beautiful. i'm so so very sorry for yr loss... it's not even a year yeet for you? still so very sore... lots and lots of love and hugs - steph xxx

Comment by Michelle W on October 9, 2012 at 2:01pm

Stephanie,
My son had a my space page if you search Billy Waldo you can see his page I have really no control on it but my daughter has his password and stuff and updates new pictures and events if we every had any.,, it is a nice place for friends to leave thoughts and messages for him,, I feel closer to him to go read the postings sometimes.,,, you should go check it out of course be prepared he was alive when this was set up and did die with may people posting on that day they all saw the accident it was a school event.., but it keeps him alive(:.,,, that makes me happy.,,,

Comment by Stephanie on October 9, 2012 at 10:44am

guys i have panic also something terrible, my anxiety became so bad, i went to a dr recently, he put me on some meds. i can truly say it has helped me tremendously.  there are still times when the anxiety seeps in and i'm sure you know it is NOT EASY to overcome it that easily. i wish i could carve her name into a wooden objec - but what object? or i saw these beautiful crystal blocks, where they can use a foto of her and put it in - beautiful, but bit expensive; or -- i don't know, that's for US, but how to not let people forget her. maybe get a blog page for her.... ?

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